Hint: This Will Sound Funnier if You Read it Like Jerry Lewis

0:04: “Oh no, no way, nuh-uh. You’re not getting me in that… that… whatever that blue stuff is, no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o thank you…”
0:10: “… because it looks all wet and sloshy and it could hurt a person and so I will just romp and play where it is nice and–HEY LAAAY-DEE!” (splash!)
0:24: “Oh, this is not so bad, I’m moist and I’m swimming… Hey, where you going? I was just beginning to–WHAAAAAA! You bit me! You bit my little body with the teeth and the hurting of me, owwww…”
0:35: “Now I am dry again, but if you want me to swim, you have to promise not to do the biting and the pulling from the water, thank you nice lady!”
0:53: (Temporary loss of cuteness. Please stand by.)
0:57: “OK, here I go… Whe-e-e-e-e-e! See how much more fun it is when with all of the chomping and the yanking you don’t make so much?”
1:42: OOOWWWW! Again with the biting and the pulling! Will you stop with the pulling of my arm which is painful and is not a nice thing, already!”

“Pet Owner Not Bothering To Neuter Loser Cat”

The Onion is reportin’ that a Coral Springs area man has decided against neutering his 5-month old cat Mowgli because Mowgli has ZERO CHANCE with the ladies. Read on.

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Non-loser kitteh “Watson” sent in by Erin N. [head tilt] Onion article suggested by Sparky and Kitchyaya13.

This Just In: OMG, That Cup’s Huge!

I mean, just look at how it dwarfs that dog … oh, wait–that’s Scooter, a Maltese from New Zealand, who may qualify as the smallest full-grown dog of all time.  According to its owner, Scooter grew to about three inches tall and said “meh, that’s plenty.  So, are we having biscuits with our tea, or what?”

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Cheers to sender-inners Sandra and Clairebear!

I feel so USED

The BBC has a recent article on how kittehs USE and ABUSE their owners into getting WHATEVER they WANT by purring.

Take a listen over at the BBC:

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By Victoria Gill, Senior Purring Correspondent, BBC News. Headline of article bequeathed by Ryan T.

Welcome to the C.O. Annual Picnic!

Well, hello there!  So glad you could make it!  Grab a plate, because we’ve got chips and guacamole, three kinds of potato salad, there’s a lovely bean casserole you’ve simply got to try, and I just set out a tray of ferrets, so do help yourself to those, and save room for three-layer Jell-O mold…

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And Now, a Word from our Sponsor

In these uncertain times, can you afford not to give your hedgehog complete insurance coverage?  Then call your Allstate agent today and ask about our Hedgehog Term Life Package.

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Everybody’s a Critic

“Ugh, what utter pablum.  Technically proficient, yes, but what exactly is the artist trying to say here?  The whole ‘sad, soulful kitten eyes’ thing is such a cliché, darling — where’s the originality?  I’m looking for something that screams ‘YES! This is real!  This is art!’ and all I’m getting here is ‘mew.’

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I guess we can just skip the “Dogs Playing Poker” retrospective, Matt M.

This Just In: Okey-Dokey Okapi!

She looks like the head-on collision of a zebra and a giraffe, but she’s 100 percent gorgeous.  Meet Kalispell, an okapi born June 27 at the Denver Zoo, one of only a half-dozen okapi zoo births in North America annually for this rare species. But don’t rush to see her yet, Denverites — she’s still under wraps until she gets a bit older.  For more, see the Denver Post.

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God Bless the Internet

You gotta love emails like these floating around the IntarWebs. Words and Images sent in by Monica H., from an email forwarded to her:

“These little bunnies, about 6 days old, were attacked by a dog and orphaned. Two out of the litter of five did not survive, and these three were not doing very well.”

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“Noah is a non-releasable, one-legged homing pigeon/rock dove that is in the rehab center. Noah kept going over to the bunny cage and looking in—even sleeping in front of the door to the cage.”

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”Then suddenly, there were only two bunnies in the cage. To everyone’s surprise there was the tiny bunny under Noah’s wing sound asleep! That little bunny rabbit had crawled through the cage, preferring a featherbed!”

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“Now, they are all together and the bunnies are doing GREAT. When the bunnies scoot underneath Noah’s feathers, he carefully extends his wings out to surround them and then they snuggle. When one of them moves and they start sticking out here and there, he gently pushes them back under him with his beak! It is a beautiful and amazing thing to see.”

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Pretty snorgleriffic, Monica H.

THIS JUST IN: Guinea pigs mowing watermelon slices

Listen closely and you’ll hear the “ehn ehn ehn!” sounds…

“Guinea Pigs eating watermelon” sent in by Philip P. over at Ant’s Quality Foraged Links.

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