Saturday Surprise Scroll-down

Everything seems to be pretty normal her—OMG PONIES

Peter R. now we know where that finger’s been.

That’s Hamazing!

Get ready to scrape your jaws off the floor, peeps, as we meet YouTube user flybybutterflies, whose hobby involves training seemingly untrainable creatures (hamsters, goldfish, frat boys, etc.) to perform amazing feats of skill.

So, how good is she? This good:

Spotted at Your Morning Adorable from the Los Angeles Times.

The Ferret Dispenser’s Clogged Again…

It never fails: I put in my dollar, and what happens? When the stupid machine isn’t just taking my money and not giving me any ferret, it sends down two! Sheesh!

Now I have to walk all the way to Hannah P.’s office and get a refund slip.

Carl Kicked Himself for Saying, “When am I ever going to need to know this?”

Fuzzy Birds and SS Sailboat begin floating at the same time from opposite ends of a lake that is 30 miles long. Fuzzy Birds are floating at 6mph and SS Sailboat is floating at 10mph. How long after they begin will they meet?

Uh, guys…?

Don’t worry, SS Toy Sailboat, Sender-Inner May-Li K.! E-Birdman.

I Am the Kibble Dancer

Each day, I journey to the ceremonial supper dish in the sacred kitchen, and offer my humble dance to the Kibble Gods. If my dance pleases them, they will send the Benevolent Hand, bringing her life-giving nourishment for the people in my tribe.

All blessings and honor be upon thee, Chloe N.

Petunia and Her Fanny Halitosis

It started out as a glorious first day with her new owner: Petunia playfully nipped at her ankles; and Owner painted Petunia’s nails “Fire Hydrant Red”. But when she began to tickle Petunia’s belly well…

…Petunia tooted.

What do you expect when you feed Petunia Olive Garden, Courtney H.

THIS JUST IN: Lovely Leopard Lads

Last Valentine’s Day, the Smithsonian Institution’s National Zoo welcomed two clouded leopard cubs. Yesterday the Zoo released a new set of “glamour shots” of the two boys. See more squee-worthy shots on their website.

Credit goes to the Smithsonian National Zoo.

Adorable Baby Otter in Need of Serious Attitude Adjustment

This towel is too scratchy, and these lights are too bright! Have I mentioned that I hate when people stare?

Listen man, I’m gonna tell you one last time – I don’t know anyone named “Emmet”, and if you continue to stand here, you’re gonna get some pureed sardines thrown at your ugly mug.

Patricia S. says that Elaine and Leroy, two North American River Otters, just had the above baby at Binghamton Zoo. Photo by Lexy Roberts.

Wakey-Wakey, Eggs and Bakey!

Any book with the phrase “rising body temperatures trigger arousal” is bound to be a page-turner, so when alert reader Arial R. sent us this, noting “I found this in a book at the library and thought it was oh-so-adorable,” that set our tails a-twitchin’.

Let us now examine the sleeping habits of our friend, the squirrel — who is, to put it charitably, not a morning person. (This will be on your final exam, by the way.)

Man, German Cat Trainers are All Business

Geet your mind out of the guhtter! Thees ees a test of strength! My Uncle Hans taught me thees treek, and believe you me, if you wants to be a weight leefter, you will learn to beench press a fellow feline! Now leeeft, dammit, leeeft!

Not safe for work, Matthew H.

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