This Is For Your Own Protection

Meet Tai and Pip, twin red pandas at the Edmonton Valley Zoo in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. As a safety precaution, we’re only going to show you their heads, because the rest of them have been deemed by the C.O. Public Safety Advisory Committee to be too cute for safe public consumption.

If we were to show you their soft, fuzzy, oh-so-snorglable bellies, or the delicate downy fur on their bushy, bushy tails, your brains would melt into a pool of butterscotch pudding and ooze out your ears, which would really put a crimp in your plans for the weekend. Also, brain is notoriously hard to clean out of clothing, especially synthetics. We’re only thinking of you, people.

You want the cute? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE CUTE!

Just send us the dry cleaning bill, Nicole M.

The wind almost blew my head off

This scene is kinda like The Exorcist, only much cuter!

[head appears to rotate around 180] Ehn!


Cute Bunneh, originally uploaded by mountainpugs.

Sherilyn F., you gotta listen to the Exorcist musicwhile looking at this photo… Hee!

What? I do ALL my video shoots in the bathroom

Wrinkles McWhinersons is all get me down, I gots me some bidet water to slurp!

Thanks for the bonus yipping action, Cass.

Meanwhile, at Camp Wannasnorgleya…

"Ralph?  Ralph, you awake?"

"Cut it out, you’ll wake up the counselor!"

"Hey, you wanna know why I wasn’t in wood shop today? You wanna know, huh? Do ya? Huh?"

"Lemmie alone, Shermy, I’m sleeping."

"It’s because I totally scored with Sue-Ann Glupenpooter, that’s why."

"You lie, Shermy."

"Am not! We went out behind the boat house, and she let me get to third base!"

"Oh, for your information, Shermy, Bruce from cabin 12 told me that he overheard Becky and Janelle talking about how Weird Linda told them that Sue-Ann thinks you’re a total loser spaz butthead. So shut up and go to sleep."

(pause)

"All right — second base."

"Good night, Shermy."

Yeah, we’re not buying it either, Philip K.

[Whispering] The Earless Hamster—so vulnerable in the wild!

[Voiceover of Sir Famous English Guy] "A rare Golden Earless—so unusual in these parts of South East Asia. Only handfuls of them survive in the wild. Shhh, shhh, he may detect our movements!"

[Earless hamster] "I can’t heeeeeeeeeear you! I have no earrrrrrrrrrrrrrs!" [motions to own head in singsong voice]


My ☁ Little Cloud ☁, originally uploaded by pyza*.

Sender-Innerette Lee, great call, Pyza always delivers ;)

These Boots Were Made For Stalking…

… and that’s just what they’ll do / One of these days these boots are gonna whap you on the nose (whap whap whap whap whap!) and then tear through the living room (neeeeeaarrrrggghhhhhhmmmmm!!) and then climb up the drapes (wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!) and then knock the planter off the kitchen counter (crash! whoopsie!) and then totally declare war on your tail (yaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrr!) and then whap you on the nose some more (whap-ity whap!) and then fall asleep (honk-shuuuuuuuuu!).

A little closer ... closer ... cloooooserrrr

Cowgirl UP, Judy O!

Your hedge quills may be used for flotation…

I don’t know what’s more redonk—the voices of these ladies watching "Shming" the hedgehog float around in the tub, or Shming himself, who’s acting like he’s on friggin’ Waikiki beach after three Mai Tais.

I watched ALL six minutes AND thirty seconds of this buoyant heaven, Sender-Inner Allison M.!

Get me the oxygen tank STAT

Questions for you:

1. Could this pup be MORE prosh? [Answer: Nyerhe!]
2. Can’t you practically FEEL the mini-snorting schnozzle on your face? [Answer: yeees!]
3. Did you hit your screen reaching for that teeny Tailio Iglesias? [Answer: Gone to emergency room to fix broken fingers]


PeekaBoo!!!, originally uploaded by JodieBean.

Il Matadeer!

The crowd falls still as I enter the ring. At the far end stands my feared and respected enemy: Il Matadeer.

Oh, how they adore me.

He unfurls his cape before him. I lowermy head. It is our signal to begin. Soon, like my father, and hisfather before him, we will be locked in a dance of death, a timelessstruggle from which only one may … may … whuh-HUH?!  HEEEEYYYYY!!

And so it begins...

"Wake up, honey. You were having the bullfight dream again."

"I was not!"

"You do realize that we’re deer, don’t you?"

"I WASN’T HAVING IT, HONEST!"

"It’s all right, sweetie. I’m going to the kitchen — would you like a salt lick?"

 

CUTTIT OUT!!

(sigh…) "Thanks, Mom."

Now, where was I?

Dream big, Angela B.

Help me Obi Wan, You’re my only hope! [repeat]

Hep! Hep meh!

[Zzzzz movie crackles and fades]


Obi Wan Kenobi, originally uploaded by JodieBean.

These are not the puppies you’re looking for, Mary W.!