Hanging On by a Shred

“Hurry up, Maggie!  If we don’t have these taped back together, we’re fired for sure!  Jeez, you just had to push the ‘shred’ button, didn’t you?”

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“Hey, you wanted to see how it worked.  Heck, I wanted to stay in bed this morning, but nooooyou had to drag me to workWell, I hope you’re happy!

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Yes, it’s the return of Maggie and Bergamot, courtesy of repeat offender Tina K.

Can’t Talk Now. Bottle Time.

Don’t bother me.  I’m in the zone.

Grmley and bottle 1

Bottle Time requires absolute Zen calm and concentration.

Grimley and Bottle 2

One must not merely drink, one must become one with the bottle, nourishing the soul as well as the body with its creamy beige goodness…

Grimley and bottle 3

Ah, that’s better. Now, what was your question again?

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Awesome foster-mommying, Jennifer S. (and photographer Melissa M.).

THIS JUST IN: Pikavatars

Come on, like you’re surprised about this.

You knew this was coming. Right-click, download, and make a Pika your avatar TUHDAY!

THIS JUST IN: The American Pika

Sure, he’s no JAPANESE Pikachu, but he’s damn close. Roundness caused by lack of arms and legs helps:

Pika-article

Hey Judy W., those American scientists better make the eyes bigger if we’re gonna compete with Japan…

Curse of Monkula

Once again, as he has done for centuries, the cursed vampire rises from his grave to feast.  Mad with hunger, the wretched fiend spies his next victim, an unsuspecting villager.  He waits in the shadows; his prey draws nearer… and then, with inhuman speed, the monster strikes!

(Jerry Lewis voice) Oy, Mr. Nice Vampire, stop with the biting on my tender young neck that is painful to me, please maybe you could?

More monkeyshines at the Daily Mail.

Let’s play: “Puppy or Bunny?”

Q: Puppy or Bunny?

zoey profile

Belynda C., let us know when the DNA results come back.

Caturday Cinderella Story

Take one GUESS who’s on Pooper Scooper Duty on a Caturday.

Moi!

Winter 011

The cats are lounging in their hammocks drinking milkshakes and I’m stuck with shoveling their crapulence. I am NOT seeing enough rawhide chew payments for this.

Winter 012

I hate Caturdays Judy G.!

So What’s the Deal With the Turtles?

Our more astute readers may have noticed a slight turtle-y theme in today’s material.  It’s not just for Teh Qte; it’s also a shout-out to the toughest girl I know.

It's not so bad, once you get used to it...

Recently, a relative of mine was badly injured in a car crash.  She’s home from the hospital now, but her crawl to a full recovery is only just beginning.

I'm always ready to go camping...

She’ll be spending part of that recovery in a back brace that, I’m told, makes her look a bit like a turtle.  So I hope you’ll join me in saying “Get Well Soon, Turtle Girl!”

I'm my own Winnebago!

And thanks to slow-and-steady sender-inner Dominika D.

The Happiest Tortoises on the Planet

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Give You:  The Happiest Tortoises on the Planet.

“Mashed potatoes? My favorite!”

[Photo removed at request of owner]

“A strawberry?! My favorite!!

A strawberry?  MY FAVORITE!!

Raspberries Another strawberry?!?!?!? MY FAVORARRGTHMMGPTHOMNOMNOM!!!!!!!1!!!

RASPERRIES??!!?!!  MY FAVORITE!!!!1!!!!!1!

Friday Haiku: Shell We Dance?

Turtle and stuffed fish
Can your haiku celebrate
Their forbidden love?

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I give it six months, tops, Caroline D.

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