How I Met Your Father

"Lordy me, that picture takes me back.  It was at the Rotary Club picnic, and there was this boy — and I swear he must have followed us the whole afternoon, working up his nerve.  Finally he comes up to me — and of course he was much thinner then, dont’cha know, and he still had all his fur — and he just stands there, staring.

"Well, after a few minutes of this, I give up and turn to get some more tuna casserole, and he just up and bites me on the tail!  Right in front of everybody!  And well, of course I’m just madder than I-don’t-know-what-all, and I’m about to haul off and slug him, when I get a look into his eyes.  And it was like they were pleading with me: Don’t go.

CHOMP!

"And I figured, if a feller wants a girl bad enough to bite her on the tail, he must want her awful bad.  That was forty-seven years ago, and we been together ever since.  Missed the fireworks and everything.

"Well, not entirely."

AWWWW!

Thanks for the memories, Dia H.

Tomorrow’s rodent rock stars today

At the Squirrel Academy of Music, we’re training tomorrow’s rodent rock stars today.

You’ll learn all the secrets of the pros, from how to smash a guitar to advanced hotel room demolition techniques. With guitars.

In this photo, Professor Melvin "Johnny Hazard" Goldblatz (center) leads a seminar in intermediate microphone posing.

Watch your balance, Jenkins ... Leroy, get that chest out!'

Can you get us backstage, Rebecca W.?

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

"Hey, baby — how YOU doin’? I haven’t seen you around here before; you new in town?  You must be from Tennessee, because honey, you’re the only ten I see!  I never knew angels flew this low, baby — what time do you have to be back in Heaven?  Why don’t you ditch that hand and come back to my place for, ah … dinner."

That'd be dinner for one -- right, Casanova?

Don’t let her do it, Sig!

THIS JUST IN: Your midnight snack

[Handing you a napkin]

Mmmk, dig in while it’s warm and snuggleh. [Grabs chopsticks, dunks a puppeh]

Inunabe

Back to bed now, Sender-Inners Julia and Keith M. Via this Japanese ass-kicking site.

Hon, the wind chimes sound funny

Clim clang! climmm clang.

[squishy suction cup hand sound]

Clim clang clong.

Frog7

[Frog looks over at bug zapper, also on porch]

Clim clang clang. [small breeze]

Frog8

I agree, Caty C., this frog is both "ooey" AND "gooey."

C.O. Style Watch!

From the hustle and bustle of New York’s Fashion Week, to the prêt-à-porter shows of Paris, one word is on every designer’s lips this season — CAMOUFLAGE!  Yes, camo is the way to go for the modern woman who wants to stand out by blending in.  And here’s Bambi, looking sassy for summer in her one-piece camo sundress with pink trim and matching ribbon.  Completing the ensemble is a lovely "dead mouse" evening bag by Mr. Squeakwell of Limburger Street.

Untitled1

She’s a vision, Forest W.

8-point Cats ‘n’ Racks

I love you People.

Will you please look at this poor deer head with eye visible to the camera, and straddling kitteh [foot on left side is redonk]

[Running under door jamb, bracing for Nuffs]

Catsracks

Hey, how about a "I Break for Nuffs" bumpère stickère, Christine K.?

It feels like a 100 MILLION degrees out

[Pup dunks head completely underwater, then spouts water upward like a Golden Retriever fountain]

Aaaaah!

Pbbbbbbffft! Pbbbbbbffft!

Dunkin' Dognuts joke here

Glad you and Cessna could cool off a bit, Hil L.

Hey Neil, this is how you shoot a raccoon

Not literally shoot—I mean photograph.

Hugo award-winning snorglable author and panda feeder Neil Gaiman has been trying to get our attention for MONTHS and finally did it with his recent raccoon photo shoot.

This isn’t that shoot by the way.

Img_4710

Neil’s shoot doesn’t have a behbeh raccoon overhead OR one with a mini Gorilla-paw.

Meekakeith

Neil’s shoot doesn’t paws up or stubbular ears.

4

Neil’s shoot CERTAINLY doesn’t have any raccoons this cute OK THAT’S A KITTEH

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Meeka by Sean R., Kackie by Felicia J., Paws up by Amanda W. and Imposter by Kacy H.

For Jaye!

Next week, on The Guiding Leash…

Jameson confesses his true love to Giselle, but refuses to seek a divorce from Jacki, who is undergoing delicate brain surgery by the brilliant but unpredictable Dr. Hugo Hankershlaffer.  Meanwhile, Steve and Randolph must explain to Violet, Steve’s fiancée, how the two of them came to be arrested by park rangers while wearing only fishnet stockings and scuba gear.

And in the tranquil Schlongermann household, Clarence begins to suspect that young Clarence Jr. might not be his…

What tipped you off, Sherlock?

Pass the bon-bons, Lucy L!