This Did Not Work Out Like I Planned

Who turned out the lights?

From DP&F.


Better Gear Up If You Wanna Keep Up

Lt. Snuggles has two speeds.

Just about to go real fast…

and going real fast.

Lt. Snuggles’s agent, Amy S., tells us, “He’s a 3-year-old spoiled Yorkie who loves being cute, chasing birdies and sneaking bites of kitty roca when Mommy isn’t looking. :)”

Tales of the Duck Patrol

We were twenty klicks behind the lines, scouting an enemy bread depot. The air was thick with the stench of silence; every crackling blade of grass felt like an explosion in our own private hell. “Sarge, think we’ll get a medal for this?” asked Beakman. “Right now, kid,” I replied, “I’d settle for some pumpernickel.”

Via FuLynHu.

The Slowest Spectacle In Sports: The Zoopolis 500!

Clipboard01Everyone knows about the Indy 500, but here’s an even bigger event- the Zoopolis 500! The events began at 10:30am ET. Quoting the Indianapolis Zoo’s site, “This event is always a favorite with fans and is held annually the Wednesday before the Indianapolis 500. The day features our tortoises hustling to the finish line to be the first to reach the abundant fruit platter. “Racing” Ryan was the first tortoise to cross the finish in 2012.”


Photos by Carla Knapp, video from the Indy Zoo.

There’s a Place in France Where the Naked Fingers Dance

And the pink panthers declare,
Can you spare a square?

Fave Frame:

Screen Shot 2013-05-22 at 10.15.57 AM
Is that the bathroom door, Carolyn Victoria Day?

Mabel Shocks Dorothy

Dorothy, honey, you need to dump the chump and get your grove back. Find some young thing and use ’em up ’til there’s nothin’ left but a dry husk.

Mercy, Mabel! What’s gotten into you?

Photos by Martine G.

Hoomins: Ya Just Gotta Know How To Train ‘Em

Once you do, you’ll have them eating out of your paw. Or at the very least, bringing the eats right to you.

We’re Pozitive about this one.

Ooh la la! Disco Wants a Biiiiig Kiss!

My name is Disco. I’m a parakeet. Bird to your mother. Discooooo! What seems to be the problem officer? I am not a crook. There’s the cat. Meow! Meow!

He had us at Discoooooo, MsJumpinJude

As the great oaken door closed behind us, we stood before the Council of Catbeards

The first to speak was Nyquil of Eärewygge, the council elder. “They are but children,” sneered he, stroking his flowing white beard. “Are we to entrust our most sacred quest to the like of these quibullous squatlings?”

“Poppyrot and balderstuff!” roared Hieronymous Thalidomide. “Small they may be, but large in spirit, ’tis plain to see. Their valor shall make proud this council.”

“Besides,” added Gleevec Beaverbalm, “they’re just going to the delicatessen.”

Via Catbeards on Tumblr and also Reddit.

CJ (hic) Has Got (hic) A Small Problem

Rule #1: Goldie puppehs are simply awe-inspiring cute.
Rule #2: They’re even cuter when their little fur-bellahs jiggle back and forth with hiccups.


Sent in by several Cuteporters, including DC B.!