THIS JUST IN: Vanity Fair is Addicted to Cute

I LOVE YOU ROBERT PATTINSON Will the world eventually sour from too much cuteness? This just in: Jim Windolf’s article “Addicted to Cute” just hit the magazine racks! It’s all about America’s love affair with Robert Pattinson all things cute. We got like, a quote in there! About squealing! [Head tilt eyes crossed]

Check it out…

Of Course, You Realize This Means War

The whole human-rights problem was upsetting enough, but now the People’s Republic of China has crossed the Rubicon and gone too far! From sender-inner Kristina D. comes this startling news (emphasis ours):

We were recently traveling in China and Tibet – were you aware that Cute Overload is blocked there?! It’s understandable though, outrageous cuteness threatens social stability, which is their greatest fear… We thought we would surely perish from CO withdrawal! But luckily there was plenty of cute Tibetan pooch action in Lhasa to keep us going.

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How dare they block Teh Qte! This outrage can be met with nothing less than… The Glorious People’s Tongue-Hance of Democracy! PTHTFHTFTHPTT!

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Dell’s New “Meowse” A Dud

After extensive research, Dell gambled on their focus groups’ request for “something softer to the touch” and lost.

This is a stick-up for static cling.

Triple click, Maria F.

Hilda’s Revenge

…Because you’ve seen Hilda’s ears, right? It’s like two furry Venus Flytraps just sprouted out of  her head – oh, poo! Sweetie, did I not mention that I needed a French manicure today –anyway, I mean, Hilda has a cute face…it it weren’t for those pipe cleaners she calls whiskers. It’s like, ‘What, did a 5-year-old invent you?’

By the way, how do my brows look? It’s like the one thing Hilda does right, you know?

I'm going to look angry for a very long time.

Um, no. I did not ask for two “creepy cocoons” to be placed above my eyes. Where is Hilda. I need to speak with her.

They may look like furry Venus Flytraps, but they hear all.

You could just use Chunk’s whiskers as Q-Tips, Deidra L.

The Strong, Stuffed Silent Type

“… and I really must say how nice it is to meet such a good listener, someone I can open up to and really express myself, because in this day and age, the art of conversation is on its last legs, what with texting and e-mail and all the distractions of modern life, I mean nobody really sets aside the time anymore for a good, old-fashioned chat, in fact I was just telling someone other day…”

Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek-aboo, Steve E.!

Oh, I’m Sorry, Did We Startle You?

Golly, I suppose we did sneak up on you under the covers, didn’t we?  Frightfully sorry about that, old bean.  Anyway, once you’ve finished clutching your chest, would you mind getting us our breakfast?  Thanks ever so.

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N-no m-m-more c-coffee for m-me, Christopher A.

I Gotta Lay Off the Sardines Before Bed

What a weird dream!  I was running and running, but never getting anywhere.  Then this giant hand pushed me around on my back, and it felt so good I started doing it by myself.  And it kept happening over and over, like some kind of endless loop…

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Note: Web site address displayed in some images contains NSFW material.

Update: See more of the kitty at top right here.

Hazel Poses for the Swimsuit Issue

Oh yes, darling (click, click), lie back now (click, click, click)… now lift your head (click, click), give us a pouty look (click, click)… perfect, darling (click, click)

CalenderShoot_July1

Now look at the horizon (click), imagine a studly Weimaraner (click, click), stepping from the pool (click, click)… That’s super, love, let us feel it (click, click, click)

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All right, darling (click, click), give us a smile (click, click, click)… Arch your back a bit more (click, click)… Smashing, love, hold that pose (click, click, click, click)

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We’re having issues with that swimsuit, Rocket T.

Live from the Labrador Room, Paramus

Hey ladies and gentlemen glad ya could make it how’s everybody doin’ tonight that’s great ok this next act is the funniest comic working the dogmouth circuit today you’re gonna love him put your hands together for Rocky Boffo let’s hear it…

redguy

Good evening hey it’s great to be here so I tell my psychiatrist I think I’m a deck of cards he says I’ll deal with you later and my girlfriend’s a one-legged waitress yeah she works at ihop but seriously folks what’s the deal with these airline peanuts…

lips

Is that a pinball machine part in picture one, Natalie F.?  (And am I a geek for knowing that?) (Update: It’s a finger puppet.  Thanks to various commenters for the info.)

Fiesta Deck or Promenade Deck!?

Fiesta Deck or Promenade Deck!? Fiesta Deck or Promenade Deck!? Fiesta Deck or Promenade Deck!? Fiesta Deck or Promenade Deck!? [Alternating feets touching ground] I don’t see your name on my clipboard! I don’t see your name on my clipboard! I don’t see your name on my clipboard!

HankyBday

I need a drink. IIIISAAAC!!! (Thanks to Lilly W.)

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