Time to pet your screen!

Take a moment from writing TPS reports to check out this kitten morsel—so soft and delectabuhls! You may now pet your screen. GENTLEH!

Hitomi Y. took time out from making luxury pet beds to send this in.

Talk About a Short-Sighted Plan

Statuesque Imbecile, you’ll never believe the news! I’m going to an open call audition for Bob’s Big Boy newest mascot! Can you think of anyone more suited for the part???

Maybe Bob’s Big Boy is going with hip irony, Kaitlyn K.? Be sure to check out more photos at Kleiber’s Kanines.

I’ll Meet You During Intermission, Hydrant

I see you in the distance, Favorite Red Hydrant, and I’ll be with you just as soon as this yahoo behind me is done with her ridiculously embarrassing routine of – oh God, here we go, she’s cueing “Circle of Life” and calling me Simba…

Please tell us you also have a pet warthog and meerkat, Kyle M. Photo by K.D. Morse

And now, Garden Gab with Gertie Glotz

Greetings, green-thumbers! Last week, we learned how to dislodge a cactus from your backside, but this week it’s time to welcome the first blooms of spring!

When transplanting, be careful to (Psst! We’re taping a show here)… Soil should contain generous amounts of (If you’re hungry, there’s a buffet at the crafts table)… Water thoroughly, taking care to (Look, I’m not telling you again!)… Finally, using a trowel… (Call security!)

Brooke B. says: “So here I was, snapping some pics of the first flowers of spring, and what do I see? Trouble! That’s our cat, Honey, trying to nom on my flowers!”

Interuppta my nap, I breaka your face

Listen man, I ain’t no slow loris, so don’t do anything you’ll regret; I don’t wanna have to introduce your face to my pink pads.

Do it, Jenn C. And send video.

The Bachelor’s Nose Ceremony

Chip was no lothario, and he was a genuine fluffball of nerves when it came to professing his feelings to the feline; so he decided to take a Happy Pill to try and relax. In hindsight, he should’ve only taken half.

“Hello, my furry light bulb! So shiny! Would you like a Mentos? They are LOVE flavored! I’ll give you ALL my love Mentos, because I love you, unicorn! I had me at hello!”

Cute – but weird – couple, Alexander G.

Not sold in stores! Order now!

His music has touched millions the world over… and now Q-Tel Records brings you all the romantic moods of Zamfir, Master of the Pan Floof! Enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime treasury of all-time classic love songs, including:

Careless Whisker • Un-fur-gettable • Ah, Sweet Mouse-tery of Life • and more!

Call now! Carmen D. is standing by!

Hedge Fund Investor

“Oh hai, I’d like to make a deposit. Ehn!” [shoves coin forward]

Another quality foraged link from Ant! [AQFL]

Seal Bomb

[Who needs another BOOOORING photo of penguins? Look over here!]

Mika W. says Squirrel Bomb is sooo 2009.

Hamster-sized Caesar Salad

For this episode of  Cookin’ For Hamsters you will need:

1 Cucumber
1 Hard-boiled Egg
1 slice, Gouda cheese
1 slice, Ham
1 bunch Parsley (fresh)
1 slice bread, toasted (for croutons)
3 Pinenuts


BON APÉTIT!

You’ve have some serious mini-culinary talents, Mathijs. See more of Lucy’s culinary delights over at The HamsterTracker.

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