Use these words in everyday conversations and blog comments to tewtelly impress! The Glossary is lovingly cultivated by Theo (with much help from Meg and Anna G. and E. Collison and Kasi and Jaypo and Francesca and just too darn many folks to list, as this thing keeps growing. Moshe lof 2 allz!)
- “Adorable” minus the hard consonants. Cute, yes, but shares its northern border with Actively Irritating.
- “Awwww” minus the hard consonants. Cute, yes, but… oh what the hell am I talking about?!
via IM with Meg, 6/10/2008: ‘Ahnnngh’ could be the spelling… also, ‘almost always accompanied by a head tilt’ (like Baroo)SEE ALSO: “Outrrageous Frawnsh Occents“
- Barfing Rainbows
- Derivative of “it’s like a koala crapped a rainbow in my brain.” Probably.OK. Say you’ve just been dumped by your no-longer-significant other, you’ve got a new parking ticket, and you’ve dropped your fork (eek!) Things are grim, see. Miserably, you fire up the old com-pyoo-tor, hop on teh INTARWEB — and poof! There’s your homepage, CuteOverload, and you promptly barf a rainbow. There, now, isn’t that better?(NOTE: This is not what I mean. And neither is this, yeesh…)
- Dogspeak for “Whut the…?” Frequently accompanied by the Canine Tilt and/or wrinkled brow for enhanced effect.Occasionally, animals which are not dogs have been known to have this cute-ism ascribed to them, but this is never appropriate. Dogs just have the face for it, plain & simple. Cats don’t. Fish don’t. Cockatiels? Please.
- Beady Eye Factor. It’s either cute, or not. Your call. Alternately: Broccoli Eating Factor. Thanks, Aubrey!
- Self-X-Planatory. See-X-Amples.
- Not strictly a cute-ism, this is simply “chomp” a la Snoop Dogg. It must be a West Coast thing… still, since Rufus is clearly a playa of da highes’ orda (egad, did I just write that?) the term is applicable. For further clarification, you might consult the Snoop Dogg Translator, fka. Tha Shizzolator.
SEE ALSO: “Cronshe“
- The ultimate position in comfort. Literally cannot be more comfortable. Always always always prefaced with the word “so.” Almost always used to describe the obvious.
- Like, when all the comments attached to one of the Cute posts are about whether or not bathing a cat is the MOST EVILEST THING IN TEH WURLD. Or if today’s pic is ‘shopped. Or racks. I even wrote an Ode To Commentroversy which puts the Bard to shame (as long as we’re talking about this bard).
- Acronym for Cute Overload eXtreme Close-Up. Here’s lookin’ at you, kit!
- Cronshe (Kronsche)
- It’s onomatopoeia. (Scrumptious word.)
Cronch. Key-ronsche. Mmmonsch. Chompage. Nawm, etc.
SEE ALSO: “Peeps“
- Dream Office
- Picture going to work every day at Cute Overload Headquarters. Picture it.I don’t mean “telecommuting” like we do now. Everyone in the place would be all the folks who post all the content and comments. We’d office in the Space Needle and every desk would be custom-designed to best fit the ergonomics & aesthetics of each individual, from hippo to human to hammie. The in-house messaging system would consist of two teams: the Post-It Hummingbirds (for LAN communication) and the Pneumatic Hamsters (WAN; they’re without peer when it comes to navigating a series of tubes). There would be a Nap Lounge with plush yellow floor-pillows, shaped like giant ducks, as well as private hammock alcoves. Treats on Friday would include catnip, suet, T-bones, broccolis, Milanos, burger-cakes (no onion), Pocky… you name it. Everybody would play off everyone else. Our output would be sublime, poignant, hilarious, and absolutely irresistable. Nobody would understand how we’d ever get anything done, yet our particular productivity would be positively unparalleled. Peculiar.Incidentally, I have seen the future. I can do that. Don’t worry, I’ll keep it brief.
Eight weeks later, weaned on raw TCP/IP and the encrypted multi-lingual satellite traffic of three hundred nations, little Threebert is ready to begin broadcasting to the world, and the transmission goes live. Voice Of America and al-Jazeera are eclipsed within minutes. Fox News folds shortly thereafter, then CNN, and then–surprisingly–the stalwart BBC. Next pwnd are the AP newswire and other wire services, co-opted for our own un-devious purposes, along with the rest of worldwide media (although Animal Planet gets special consideration, because c’mon). The Squee Heard ‘Round the World begins in downtown Tokyo at precisely 15:07 Zulu.
Days pass and Threeb’s reach broadens exponentially. The stock market goes “Baroo??” and and is swept along with the powder-blue tide. Politics begins to lose relevance, subtly at first, but momentum quickly builds. Google jumps on the bandwagon a week later, in a whirlwind merger based upon eminently compatible philosophies… and just like that, it’s over.
Back in the Dream Office, we’re all fantastically giddy, and somehow also embarrassingly wealthy. Threebert takes a sunbeam nap.
- Some of the nerdier folks among us might immediately think of the little mind-controlling grub from The Wrath of Khan. This is not that earworm, but it’s close. This is the one which implants the lyrical seeds of an impossible-to-ignore song (say, “Tie Me Kangaroo Down“) directly into your head, where you Can’t. Get it. OUT.
Note: Some Cuteologists may be more guilty than others, re: the perpetrating of earworm assaults.
- The sound every living creature makes when it can’t… quite… REACH!
- Fearless Leader
- Meg Frost. She works in Silicon Valley at a well-known techno-magical company and is married to Sparkster. CuteOverload is pretty much her fault. Her parents apparently call her “Moo,” which might help to explain the whole urban cowgirl thing. And her birthday is July 30th! (Cancer/Leo cusp, it would seem.)
- First Post!
- This is it, right here. Any other use of this phrase gets you slapped. Capisce?
SEE ALSO: “Bleen“
- ex-TREEEEEME fluffiness. You know what I’m talking about.
- Kinda like a ZRBTT (pronounced ZER-bert), a la Bill Cosby, only fluffier.
SEE ALSO: “Snorgle“
- …like THEESHE! (Yeesh…)
- Hello Kitty
(also, this simply isn’t right)
- Kitty snores, ever so slightly exaggerated.
- The magical floaty words which sometimes show up unexpectedly (?) onscreen, after you’ve let your mouse pointer sit idle on top of a photo or a link for a short while. Often used by us Cute Overloaders to add Secret Bonus Captions.
Randall Munroe originally gave me the idea, whether he knows it or not.
- Knitting Rabies
- …scares the living bejeezus out of me.
- Leet (1337, 13375p34k)
- Not really a cute-ism (though this comes pretty close); included for convenience. More thorough explanation available via Wiki or the Urban Dictionary.
- “Love” minus the… well, you get the idea. I do hope you’re not expecting a great deal of logic and rationality, here.
- Wait–what? How did this get in here??Um, anyway, we’re talking about a large aquatic mammal… and I mean EPIC… wut haz teh much funey but prolly cant has bukkit. Also cud be lolphin, sea lol’ion, lol’bstarz, exetra. LOLz! (U see?)
- Marmalade Kitties (Tiger Tabbies, Pint Lions)
- MARMIES: The Best. Cats. EVAR.Morris, Heathcliff, Garfield, Bill, Kliban’s cat*, Rhum AND Mr. Bounceare all counted among this exalted elite. We wuvs dem becuz dey wuvs us.*actually I’m not sure about this one; definitely a tabby though.
- “Muppet” + “Puppy“. What’s not to understand?
- Muzzlepuffs (Moozlepoofs, Muzzlepouches)
- Floofy jowls. Sealyham Terriers are famous for this, but there are examples throughout the canine lineup (along with the odd hutch-hopper or US President). Oh — and here’s an example of the feline version.MuzzlePOUCHES (or “muzzlepowsches”) are what gophers and chipmunkshave, for carrying seeds in their cheeks.Rhymes with “mazel tov,” by the way… in fact, you can even use it to congratulate or bless someone with a jolly “Muzzle Puff!”
SEE ALSO: “Whiskerpouches“
- My Work Here Is Done.
- Nosicle, Moist
- Phleh… just thinking this word makes my teeth all wibbly. But anyway. First used to describe a hedgehog’s nose, I believe.
- This comes from honorary C.O. peep Shreve, of The Daily Coyote. I shall defer to her own explanation… “Nubule is not in the dictionary because it’s an invented word. I’ve been using it for years, and so I forget it’s not an actual word. To me, it means a small, tiny, cute, little blob. The word nub (an actual word) means a small lump. Nubule is the personified, cuter version of that.”
And there you have it.
- Nuffingham (Nuff)
- This is my sanity contraction of “Not-Cute-Enough-Ing-Ham,” though lately it’s mostly been shortened even further to “Nuffer” or simply “Nuff“. This is to say, a Nuff is a local variety of troll which only posts comments expressing how not-cute-enough any particular post is, to its (sadly limited) tastes. Waah, waah. Miz Thinker has a nice bit of doggerel to share with the class, on the subject. (I can only suppose it was either that or a nice bit of caterwaul.)
Plurals: Nuffs, Nuffers, Nuffinghamsters, Nuff’ams, Turdsifters, Go Make Your Own Damn Blog‘ers, Assbeefs
- The auditory component of an Almighty Squirm. Means “I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request.”
- Why does everybody assume this was us? This came from Slashdot, Peeps! …but yeah, OK, I’ll grant you it’s seen more than its share of exposure on Teh Qte™.
Picture this: You’re an exciteable city ‘tween stuck in the backseat on a roadtrip to who-cares-where; you’re bored, frustrated, and staring out the window (dead batteries, y’know) when suddenly, between cornfields, you pass a horse pasture…
- Otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters otters! Otters?! OTTERZ!!!!!!!
- Outrrageous Frawnsh Occents
- Meg started it. You played along.Merde.
- Toddlerspeak for ‘Popsicle‘. Not to be confused with ‘Hopsicle‘, which is where bambylances come from. Pa-si-kies come in a surreal variety of flavors, including Bloo Razzberry, Catnip Margarita, Bratz, Washcloth, and Liquid Smoke (not recommended).
SEE ALSO: “YAY!“
- Peeky McPeekerson (adventures of)
- Flooring is fun. Who’d'a thunk it?
- Well, there’s always these, of course; they’re somewhat cute in their own way. But on C.O., “peeps” sorta refers to the regulars, i.e. Cuteologists who can’t restrain themselves from commenting all the time. Like this dude. [Ahem.]
- Pets in Pots
- This is the post that set the bowl rolling, so to speak.
- Photoshopped (‘Shopped)
- You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. Theo smash. What IS it with some of you subgeniuses that makes you believe that just because the software exists, every photo you see on teh intarnets must therefore be FAKED? When you hear hoofbeats, how often do m*****f***ing zebras come galloping through your bedroom? Gahh!!!
FOR YOUR EDIFICATION: This is ‘shopped; this is NOT. And while this was indeed corrected for poor lighting and camera quality, using The GIMP (as opposed to the very spendy Photoshop), the composition & content are 100% real.
- Jonesing hard for a quick fix of fuzz? Dial Port-a-Snorg™ now! Our operators are standing by. (Thanks, RedZilla!)
SEE ALSO: “Snorgle“
- You know how “Freshman” sometimes gets shortened into “Frosh?” Ergo, “Precious” –> “Prosh.” I’ve never seen “special” –> “sposh” though… anyhow, I like Lewis Carroll’s portmanteau method better; f’rinstance he invented “Chortle” by mashing “Chuckle” and “Snort” together in the Jabberwocky poem. The word “smog” = “smoke” + “fog”. Extra credit: “recidivindicated“.
- Pudding is a Peep’s weapon of choice, particularly butterscotch. Launched via Puddinpult, cousin to the Tapioca Trebuchet and the… um… [sigh]…”Puddingkwürferschnorglekanonen.” (That’s plural, by the way, auf Deutsche.) Your only hope is the Big Bad ‘Brella. So sayeth the Fling Flan Man. And if you’re still not convinced of pudding’s gloopy pangeaic awesomeness, you need to read this.
- Reality-Casual Friday. Woooooo…
- Redonkulous (Redonk)
- Beyond ridiculous. Or, in the immortal words of Marion Morrison: Rigga-damn-diculous.
- Rules of Cuteness
- See for yourselves.
- Mine. (Hers.)
Git yer own.
- Sexy Chicken (also known as “Henrietta”)
- First showed up here, then here (sorta). Went on vacation sometime in the middle. Henrietta and Wolf-Spawn are arch-enemies and best buds. It’s a complicated world.
- Also known as the /. effect: When your B-List or C-List website/blog gets profiled and linked from A-List http://slashdot.org/, and the massive sudden influx of nerd traffic brings your server to its knees in a de-facto DDoS “attack,” then you’ve been Slashdotted. Fortunately, on April 1 of 2006, CuteOverload withstood its merry pounding without any traffic-related slowdowns, proving beyond all doubt that we were (and are) of A-List caliber. It was a day of purest geek love and confusion.
(DISCLOSURE: Slashdot is another favorite blog site of mine. -Theo)
- Snorgle (Snorg, Snarfle, Sqush, etc., etc., etc.)
- Snort + Snuggle. Summarizes the situation when you moosh your face into a fuzzy wuzzy smoochie wiggle and make googoo noises. First appearance on Teh Qte™ was here.
Try it with a hedgehog. (Wear snorgoggles.)
- When every other word out of your mouth can be found in this Glossary, you’re speaking Snorglish. In 1337 (“LeetSpeak”), it would be safe to say Teh Qte™ pwns j00.
SEE ALSO: “Snorgle“
- Sound of Music, The
- Ongoing theme of inspired silliness. It started with this post, and led to quite a few of my favorite things.
♫ How do you solve a problem like a maltese?… ♪
- The sound your little fan-girly head makes as it implodesunder the sheer unbearable burden of a classic CuteOverload. It is completely involuntary and audible only to dogs.All dogs.Everywhere.
- Kitters! Tabby/Calico mix. Well… frankly, I’m not sure it’s possible to get any more “mixed” than this; Torbies, perhaps?
- Totally. Utterly. Completely. Also, a couple of TV sets in England. Dunno which ones. (Maybe ask Pheral.)
- That’s “thwap”, with a hard T-H sound and a double-you. Say it: THWAP. Not “fap”, you pervy internet smartass.
SEE ALSO: “Cronshe“
- So… sleeeeeepies… [Yawwwwwn]
SEE ALSO: “Honk-Shu“
- Simply put, it’s short for BUTtocks, and sounds cuter than “arse“. Also allows for a big ol’ meaty heap of wordplay.
- This is Troll. Troll loves to make a pork arse of itself on CuteOverload with lots of naughty comments, but it is inevitably sapped and toyed with by the resident Big Cats. (Pounce, bat bat, snark, roly poly pouncey splush, nawm nawm nawm.) Eventually, out of mercy, the Admin delivers a coup-de-ban.
Thanks to Mike Reed for his fine Flame Warrior illustrations!
- One of those little un-wolf-like (yet oddly proud) creatures from Mexico, which always remind me of Marty Feldman. In the “Cute or Sad” balance, I know which way my scale’s tipping.
WARNING! Always be on your guard around these doglings. Two words: Napoleon Complex.
- Whiskerpouches (Whiskerhumps)
- The salt-water interpretation of muzzlepuffs. Proudly worn by walruses, sea otters, and harbor seals.
- Widdle (Widdew, Wuddow, etc.)
- Bastardized version of “Little.” Totally outlawed, as this is clearly a ridiculous thing to say, and we can’t be having ridiculous. Far too cutesy-poo. Just stop it.
NOTE — this isn’t so much my own pet peeve as somebody else’s. [grins]
- (adj.) Describing the furrowed brow that usually accompanies a “barroo?” Can also be used to describe the coruscations of chubb folds.The puppeh’s wrinkular forehead is too much cute for one lone person to handle.Also, Wrinkularity: (n.) Wrinkliness which results in an instant cute reaction, i.e. a “squeee!” elicited from the observer.Please note the wrinkularity on this puppeh’s forehead, from which no darkness may escape, and its effect upon the average human, especially when combined with the softish muzzlepowshes nearby.
(suggested by Cait R. — thanks!)
- …’nuf sed.
- Yay (w00t)
- Onomatopoeia, based on 1950′s-era B-grade sci-fi movie sound effects. YEEMYEEMYEEMYEEMYEEM. It looks like simple camera-flash “redeye,” and that might be all it is… potentially… but then again, the eyebeams may be charging. Caution is counseled, cadets.