Yes… Yes, I’m getting an image now: I see a stranger, a tall man in a trench coat and clown shoes… there is a car chase, many explosions and a sequel… Some Baptists are tap dancing; in the clicking of their heels there is a coded message: “Don’t… trust… the…” I… I cannot continue without sunflower seeds…
His name is Nacho, says SimonSays.
Behavioral scientists remain puzzled by what they call Cluster Associative Theory, or CAT. As yet unexplained, the theory holds that kittens will tend to cluster in a single container…
…despite the presence of alternatives.
Geraldine, I’m telling you, the tanning booth is great! Just look at my tan lines!
Edna, it’s a heat lamp! And you’re using it so much I think you’re getting a turkey neck.
Somebody’s goose is cooked, D-tizzle.
A country landowner recently encountered an unauthorized squatter who had taken up residence on the property. The violator became aggressive and in no uncertain terms claimed the whole area. Sprinting away to safety, the landowner turned and quickly took a photo of the perpetrator.
This guy is scary!
You’re very brave, Robert A.
Going hiking? Before you even leave the house, be sure to take your GPS — Global Puss-itioning System. This 100% organic tracking tool can pinpoint your exact location — as long as it’s within 100 feet of a fish market.
Does it double as a first-aid kit, Jean M.? (groan)
“So I can just walk up to those big dogs and eat from their bowl, and they won’t bother me? Golly! This is exactly the kind of insider tidbit that makes me so glad I pledged Kappa Alpha Tabby. How can I ever repay you, Steve?”
Kitteh’s about to get schooled, Ratko V.
Ting! [sparkly sound effect]
Way to razzle dazzle ‘em, Payne and Monica B.
Always take care to avoid lethal mixtures of fuzzy blankets and cats. Sadly, it was too much for this one.
Now, we also need to talk about that rug, James B.
The exotic wildlife! The breathtaking views! Oh, to pitch my hammock in the branches of a centuries-old tree and feel the cool mist of a waterfall on my face! Sipping a mimosa, not a care in …
That’s odd; I don’t seem to be floating. Maybe I need more balloons.
Don’t forget your passport, Toni and Jim.
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