And God created Dog in His image, only backwards, and gave Dog dominion over the trees and hydrants. And Dog saw he was alone, and whimpered pitifully.
And thus did the Lord take a bone from Dog, even though he was still chewing it, and from it created Cat. And He spake into Dog, saying “Behold, I give thee Cat, to serve as companion and helpmate to thee.”
And Cat said “Whoa, screw that noise, pappy. I ain’t taking orders from nobody, let alone Captain Mange, here. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta take a nap before bedtime.”