Not Surprisingly, His Fall Line Includes Mongoose Ear Plugs

For those who refuse to intentionally rock the cleavage but still want all the attention: Cork’ham, Calvin Klein.

Nice hood ornament, Lill-Iren J

Butterfly in the sky, I can fly twice as high…Oh, crap.

Can you believe the freakin’ injustice of this?

Forwarded by Kristen D.

“Walk Like an Egyptian” Flash Mob Fail.

Fellas! Listen to me! For the last time: First you slide your feet up the street, bend your back, shift your arm and then you pull it back!

COXWFMCU [Cute Overload Extreme Webbed Feet Mélée Close-Up]

Let’s go east. No. West, Ammar A.

Soul Patches Not Picking Up What His Parents Threw Down

Everyone just assumes that I love wearing skinny jeans and ridiculous non-prescription tortoise shell eye glasses while reading Ginsberg’s “Howl” to fellow organic coffee-drinkers; none of this would be happening if my stupid parents hadn’t named me such an absurd name.

He’s the butter knife of knives, Jane CL

Slow Tuesday? Break Out the Impressions

“Your attractive next door neighbor just informed you that he and his wife separated.”

“You are a 45-year-old woman who just found out she was re-tweeted by Leif Garrett.”

“You just lost your crown as reining ‘Hot Dog Eating Champion’ to your nemesis, Sweaty Flanks.”

He’s quite the thespian, Yasmin R.

The Witness Protection Program Used to be More Reliable

When Luigi agreed to testify against Fat Tabby, he incorrectly assumed his new identity would be tougher to crack.

Not to mention the fact that his new location was little more than a hammock.

Always ratting out the bad guys, Tara G.

Grand Opening of The Boxxy Fold Rehabilitation Center; Cardboarda Non Grata

We’re witnessing an epidemic. Is Maru to blame? We’re not sure. What we do know is that these kitties need serious treatment, and thankfully this rehab will cater to their specific needs:

1. The Fatties

2) The Oddly Lanky

3) The Contortionists

4) The Think-Outside-the-Box Guys

Curl up, Alicia B.

The Germaphobes on McGregor’s Farm Freak Out 

I shall sit here and lick each and every strand of veg. And I’ll have you know that I have a case of the –  wait for it – sniffles.

Hand wipes, Nicole N.

Don’t Wake the Beast

What an adorable baby skunk! Look at him, all shmooshy and sleepy!

He’s just the *sweetest* little guy in the whole wide world!

Oooh, my favorite little fella’s waking up!

No kidding, I’m waking up. I bet it has nothing to do with your insipid yapping. And FYI: Dreams don’t come true, because guess what? I’m still here…in the House that Beige Built.

Now, why don’t you put me down and run and get my lunch. And sweetie? You may want to rethink that lipstick, because it’s only enhancing that trout pout.

Don’t you love that new skunk smell, Sara?

That is One Big Baby

On July 13th, Busch Gardens Tampa Bay welcomed a baby white rhinoceros:

The female baby is the fifth white rhino born at Busch Gardens since 2004.

The baby weighed in at an estimated 140 pounds at birth, and she’ll gain approximately FOUR pounds EACH DAY until she reaches her Volkswagen-sized weight of 3,500 to 4,000 pounds. It’s safe to say that nobody will be putting baby in a corner.

Keep ‘em coming, Nick G. Photo by Matt Marriott

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