Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail Don’t Have This Problem

Like I told James Lipton: On one foot, was it the role of a lifetime? Absolutely – I owe Beatrix a great deal. But on the other, I can really deal without the paparazzi.

Are you telling me that not only was I on TMZ, but they also identified me as a capybara named Mr. McGregor? Get my agent on the horn.

Be vehwy, vehwy quiet, Alex M.

In two weeks, she hopes it looks like a macadamia nut.

Ever since Eveyln said her ass was the size of an acorn, Ruth had exhausted herself doing Pilates.

My Tae-Bo tapes arrive in a week.

Self-conscious squirrels are a sad breed, Maggie H.

Help me out, man

You want my boots, I’ll give you my boots. Anything, man. Just give me a little something to get me through the day…

"Oh. My. God. I die. That's bananas. Shut it down."

In no way do I mean to imply that your rescue cat has a meth problem, Suzi H.

It’s kind of like finding a potato chip that looks like Jesus.

Except it’s a bathroom towel dog, and he looks like Eleanor Roosevelt.

The 'permanent press' setting helps.

Not an albino mole.

I do not approve of this post.

You can find FDR in one of my wrinkles.

Have you seen Lou Hoover? She looks like my foot.

Pigment is for losers.Hellooooooooooooo!

Forwarded by John L.

The acoustics make it truly unbearable.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! OHMYGOD-OHMYGOD-OHMYGOD-OHMYGOD!!!  What are you doing in here?? Don’t you know how to knock?

Great, you’ve seen my webbed feet – are you happy now? Why don’t you take a picture, it lasts lon–

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Oh, you did not just take a picture! I swear, if this ends up on some blog with a stupid caption about how I should wear a shower cap-ybara..

Just get out! Getoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetout!!!

Capybaras enjoy the soft scent of Dove. Who knew?

Dobby really needs a shower cap-ybara, Loren S.

Don Draper, He Ain’t

Perhaps it was the smell of fresh toner or the draw of warm paper – he wasn’t certain. But once again, after one martini too many, Fred found himself in this unenviable position.

There had been a going away party for Betty. Yes, that much he remembered. Unfortunately, what he didn’t remember was placing that one ill-advised photocopy in Mr. Vanslooten’s in box.

Oh my God, that photocopier is eating Carol Channing!Kelli A. gets bonus points for naming her cat Pet.

Celebrate the Moments of Your Life

Let's go inside, share a Cafe Vienna and talk about how weird this picture is.

Christine, I think Squishy is using you to get a better view of the squirrels.

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but the spinner is missing…

Unfortunately, they realized too late that Farmer Ted had duped them once again. In hindsight, his suggestion did seem odd; and playing Twister over an empty bowl proved to be very foolish, indeed.

Jenga!

Farmer Ted will pay, Julie D.

Winston Just Got Schooled.

Oh, Winston. You know you’re a bit of a hero in these parts, but that’s only because we’re drawn to magnificently fluffy, ambivalent cats with questionable intelligence. Yes, studies suggest your brain is the size of that kernel you don’t know how to eat, as evidenced in this cob-bacle. So it pains us (delights us!) to do this to you, but this is how it’s properly done. Winston, meet Myack:

That cob never saw that cat comin'.

Myack? Really?

R.I.P., corn. R.I.P.

He’s a cobnobbing cat, Lillian O.

Vincent and Jules Hatch Their Plan

“I don’t know…What do you think?”

“It’s risky. But if I’ve done the calculations correctly, I think it will hold. I just wish it had a bit more length.”

Say hello to my little friend.

“And what about the pigs?”

“You know them – it’s always hard to tell with their incessant wheet-wheet-wheeting, but I think they’re on board. But they want us to go first. You know, because of our ‘lucky feet’.”

“Typical. So we’re a go?”

“Affirmative.”

The following morning Farmer Ted went out to his garden and discovered a veritable vegetable massacre. All that was left along the outside of the fence were six tiny trench coats, six tiny mustaches, and one leaf of kale. Farmer Ted thought back to the previous week and suspected that those ungrateful bunnies had actually followed through on their written threat:

“fArMheR Tehd:

We sicK of KAle. FEed us CaRROt oR wE usE kAle as PoLE vAUlt inTO VehgtIblE gARdEn. U hAve 7 Day.

LUv,

RaBBits and Teh PiGs”

Build a higher fence, Julie D.

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