Domesticated Terrorism

Sure, this guy had always been on their Watch List, but when they received that anonymous tip suggesting they search his private office, they had no idea what they were in for. It was a startling find, and his intended list of targets was long:

office_collage

Luckily, they had Dr. Lipschwitz on speed dial.

Don’t worry – McGruff is on the case, Effie. And, happy birthday.

No Wonder They’re So Pricey – They’re Lined With Fur

I mean, I appreciate her efforts – I really do. But it’s just not me. And you know, I just don’t have the heart to tell her that I’m more of a plaid flannel-wearing, L.L. Bean backpacker. But, she’s the one with the thumbs, so here I am.
Why you tie-dye my nose?

It is a real supple ride though.

I didn't know you could lock a dog.

I wasn’t aware that Louis Vuitton made pets, Florence A.

Taking One for the Team

Herbert recently lost his job as the household doorstop, so when The Dog offered him the opportunity, he couldn’t turn it down. You see, The Cat had recently upped his efforts to sabotage The Dog; and he suspected his Kibble was being poisoned in an attempt to be dethroned as man’s best friend. Frankly, Herbert felt bad for him, because let’s face it, The Dog was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Maybe you can help me, crack-on-the-kitchen-floor. There seems to be a pin cushion in my dinner....

Listen, Dog, I agreed to test your food, but do you have to hover over me like some kind drooly sweater?

I knew I shouldn't have had that third Bartles&James wine cooler.

I’m putting my neck on the line for you, the least you could’ve done was supply a step ladder.

Here's how it's gonna go - I'm going to eat every single one of you. Prepare for greatness. R.I.P., Kibble.

I’m going to be honest with you: this crap you call food is so disgusting that I wouldn’t know if it was poisoned or not. Here’s an idea, maybe stop being so eager to please everyone and demand a real meal.

You mind?

Take one step closer to me, Dog, and I’ll go straight to The Cat and tell him that you want to replace his kitty litter with Pop Rocks Candy.

Good luck with this situation, Kristin B.

We’re Currently #2 for Take-Off, So We’re Going to Turn on the Highbeams, Adjust the Rib Bumpers, and Raise the Goodyears

Spike was really looking forward to his first tandem skydiving jump. Although, he was concerned that the airbags were behind him.

What's really offensive is the condition of this manicure.

You two make a lovely pair, Jessie S.

Wallet-Sized, Now Just $10.99

You can never go wrong with a nice shot from the Sears Portrait Studio…

A nice soft, filtered light will do wonders; these two are actually raccoons.

I can’t wait to see what they do for Easter, Alex R.

Oh, Hells to the No, Lady

Let me get this straight: You’re trying to offer me that…for this? Oh, honey. If you think I’m letting go of this anytime soon, then you might as well believe that Mensa is gonna be recruiting you. I mean, that’s like me offering you tofu for a Twinkie.

Funny you should ask, because, yes, there's a huge difference between Cheetos and Cheese Puffs. For instance...

If I were you, I’d back the hell up. Because on top of being highly unpredictable, I’m, like, 8 feet tall and foaming at the mouth with Cheetos dust.

Next time, maybe you won’t offer him a cashew. But on the other hand, look at those adorably clawed prongs, Pea H.

“Nighttime! Daytime!” Dr. Lipschwitz has his work cut out for him.

This one speaks for itself. Hilariously.


Thanks, Eleanor C.

More from BBC’s very, very funny Walk on the Wild Side can be seen here.

Available at fine pet stores everywhere.

He was there, and I here. Everyday. My mind was on him. Constantly.

Do you miss me?

My master, he could do no wrong. My unconditional love was infinitely unambiguous.

Unquestionably so!

Would he always be mine? Time would tell…

Why is that small blue dog interfering with my snuggle time.

There are many loves, but only one obsession: Canine Klein’s Obsession.

Ahh, the smell of it, Aubrey A.

The Busy Life of a Single Dog.

6:00AM: Wake up, chase cat on treadmill.

6:30AM: Make Mooch breakfast.

6:31AM: Make mental note to call Dr. Lipschwitz about Mooch demanding Fancy Feast.

7:06AM: Train into city.

7:10AM: Scold Mooch, explain why he can’t stick head out window, add incident to Lipschwitz list.

8:00AM: Arrive at Mooch’s daycare, wonder why door is locked.

8:02AM: Realize it’s Saturday.

Please don't tell my ex-wife about this.

Hope you offered him a venti, non-fat, half-caff, extra-foamy latte, Leighann S.

There’s a cover charge at the door, and the password is ‘loin’.

Their fall from Hollywood elite was shocking and swift, but they did what was necessary to pay the bills. Given, their new gig is a little depressing, but at least they headline on Wednesdays as the male revue “Everything but the Oink”. It’s no summer blockbuster, but they make the best of it. Wilbur, Babe, and Piglet always do.

Prosciutto, Pancetta, and Sir Hammy reenact "Flashdance".

Erewhay areway ethay eglay armersway, Echo L.?

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