Auf Wiedersehen, Bernice

I’m not molting right now, so I couldn’t knit the look I intended. But I think this works as a cowl neck, no?

No, SilverHonu.

Ahoy-hoy!

Smithers, it seems that while sunning myself on this giant orange rind, my limbs dehydrated again.

Get me my B12 shot before these ninnies mistake me for an urchin and throw me out to sea.

♪ He may be called Toothpick, but he’ll always be Monty, to me ♪ (with apologies to Billy Joel), Jean T.

We Have Now Passed Ridiculous. Next Stop: Absurd.

Let me guess. You’re making a Bundt cake.

Harebrained submission, Emily B.

Please Bear With Us…

Jumpy as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs!

When pigs fly!

Holy cow!

Jiminy Cricket!

Leapin’ lizards!

According to Lana D., the only thing harmed in the taking of this photograph was possibly an ear lobe.

This Just In: Pampered Kitten Distrusts Nooks, Crannies

King of Prussia, PA – Bengal kitten, Champion Tippy-Toes McWhispersons (street name: Chuck), got the surprise of his life when he awoke to find himself stranded on a crochet throw.

Never setting foot on anything less than Frette, Chuck was obviously dubious of shabby chic. Frozen in place, Chuck uncomfortably sat in fear that these weird indentations would throw him off-balance, should he dare stick a paw out.

Surrounded by this sea of suspicious fibers, Chuck took matters into his own paws. He stared at it and willed it to transform into his beloved soft, velvet smoking jacket.

That’s one brave kitten, Katia.

The Milk Mustache Pales in Comparison to the Dreaded Furball ‘Stache

Excuse, me? I said I wanted a non-fat with extra-foam. And you gave me a full-fat with extra-fluff.

Not to mention that this biscotti appears to be a carrot, Andrea B.

Oh Mabel, What Will You Do Next?

Mabel is – how should we say? – eccentric. Has been, ever since those red-tailed monkeys accidentally clocked her with that Frisbee they whittled out of that Acacia bark. She wasn’t seriously hurt, thankfully, but the hit definitely rattled something. Like, it’s especially odd when she licks our horns and says, “Well, that’s the best darned drumstick I’ve ever had!”

Mabel is as Mabel does, Mari P.

Someone’s Got a Case of the Mondays

Hey, Norton, what’s happening? Listen, I’m going to need you to not press snooze again, alright? Yeah, if you could go just ahead and get up and come into the office, that would be grrrreat.

That’s my stapler, Stephenson B.

The Amazing Flying Foxes

If you were expecting actual flying foxes – sorry, but we have something better – bats!

And may I introduce you to Beatrice, our resident gossip hound:

These tiny freaking gigantic flying foxes are a type of bat vital for the pollination of tropical plants, yet they’re listed as “vulnerable” on the endangered species list.

These two guys come from the Tolga Bat Hospital that rescues, rehabilitates and releases hundreds of bats that would otherwise die. They also provide lifetime sanctuary for many bats that are too severely injured to return to the wild or have been retired from zoos.

Check out:  http://www.tolgabathospital.org/

Thanks, Alina K.

This Public Bathroom Has the Worst Janitorial Staff Ever.

Um, excuse me? I don’t mean to disturb you, but if you wouldn’t mind just scootching over for a moment…? I just ate at Panda Express and I have Duck Sauce all over me. Hello?

No worries, I’ll just grab some toilet paper…

“No, I can’t spare a square. Now beat it. I got eatin’ to do.”

Try a hotel lobby Rhiannon and  Natalie S.

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