Don’t Play With Your Food

Listen to me, my tasty minions! You are my Tator Tot Army, and together we’ll rid the kitchen of Colonel Ketchup!

That’s quite a surname, Cocoa Will-Never-Reveal-Her-Last-Name.

Ugh. The Dreaded Holiday Pop-In

Yoohoo, anyone home? I brought you a fruitcake I made last year!

Hellooooo…? It’s Carl and Agnes! We have non-alcoholic eggnog, Brussel sprouts, and a hankering to sing carols!

Hey, uh, anyone home? Last night I accidentally ran over a grandma. Can I hide out at your place for a few days?

Stella, here! I brought over stuff for scrapbooking! Wow, your peephole is really dirty!

Anyone there? Maude just left me. For a Clydesdale. He pulls a one horse open sleigh or something. Can I come in and talk about it for a few hours?

Wait, that’s not a reverse peephole, right Julie C.?

Well, This is Just Getting Ridiculous

Excuse Me? When I said I wanted just a hair more of cinnamon, this is not what I meant.

Not even a pound of sugar would sweeten this angry bunny, Kelsey H.

Need I Remind You, We Both Have Thumbs

Civilian, please do not touch the animal while I work. I possess a highly skilled craft; you do not. Let my healing hands guide the way to a cure to this terrible problem.

And…Yes, I think I’ve done it. The animal should finally be rid of this very unpleasant case of Singultus.

Dr. McDomineering and patient McPanty might make “Grey’s Anatomy” watchable, Martin I.

Gravity sucks

I’m glued to the ground. Did someone slip me a mickey or something?

Seriously, is there some kind of giant magnet below me? Did I ingest a lot of iron?

He goes against the grain, Joie B.

The Reason Gertrude Squeaks, When Poked

No, I haven’t seen him. What do you mean, I look guilty? Maybe he went for a walk or something, I dunno. But I know for sure that I didn’t eat Rubber Ducky. No, definitely not.

Poke Gertrude Here!

Let me guess, Jenny B.: Calgon.

Scientists Discover Evolved, Even More Unenthused, Breed

When our team engaged specimen (code name “Blow Dry”) with friendly snuggles and delicious alfalfa, specimen exhibited fascinating new “threatening” behavior.

Meet the Puffer Bun.

What’s it like living with Santa Claws, Hillary B.

Dainty, She Ain’t

When she wasn’t driving her rig, Bertha liked to let it all hang out and relax. Not surprisingly, her roommate, Prudence, wasn’t around much.

What a lady, Charlotte D.

Cute Overload Inadvertently Destroys a Computer

This is outrageous!

Why do you need to surf the net to see other cats?! We’ll see how cute you think he is after I claw his face off.

Don’t bill us, Beylah R.

Don’t Cross the Maltesie Crime Family

Hey boss, I ain’t workin’ for free here. I dug your hole, but if you want me to – you know – “bury the bone” too, then that’s gonna cost you extra.

Oh, you’ll bury the bone. You’ll do it quickly. And you’ll do it quietly. And fortunately for you, I’m going to try and forget your very unfortunate attitude.

Has anyone seen Sir Purrsalot, Gwyneth D. and Ariel C.?

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