Transcendental Observation

Looking for greater personal power over your life? Then call Werner Gufinov, the world’s only out-of-body life coach! Werner’s unique coaching methods let you see yourself as you really are — and if that doesn’t inspire you to straighten up and take control over your life, then nothing will!

13542903035_c3bc066248_o

“This is Bentley with his arm around Batman, seemingly conspiring with him against Violet down the stairs,” says Christine.

You’re Checking Out My Tail, Aren’t You?

Oh no, I’m not offended, really, in fact I get a lot of compliments on it. I take excellent care of it. You might even say I’m attached to it, heh heh… No, it’s nothing personal like that, it’s just that I would really, really appreciate it if you would put those scissors down.

my-tail

Body Slam!

… and now Captain Feisty tries to pin The Spotted Dynamo… perfectly-executed leg hold there, but the Dynamo refuses to budge… and now he’s going for the face hold! Definitely saw some biting there, I think the referee missed… WHOA! Decisive smackdown by the Spotted Dynamo! And this — match — is — over, ladies and gentlemen!

And Now Let’s Go to “Captain” Tom Nom in the Cute Overload Traffic Helicopter!

“Thank you, Mimsy. Right now I’m flying over Rancho Cucahuenga, and we’re looking at a four-kitten pile-up just before the Slauson cutoff.”

14486145948_ca7fd03578_o

At the Cute Overload Puppy Testing Labs

Here in our Paw Pad Proving Grounds, every set of paw pads undergoes rigorous tests to ensure braking ability — for your safety and comfort!

8JAvbGO

Now a Word from our Sponsor

Enjoy long, luxurious, healthy hair… with “Gee, Your Hair Smells Like Horse!”™ Now available in Harvest Oats, Apple Orchard, and new Carrot Cake scents.

14023032070_f2821b53e4_o

Via Three Leaf Farm on Facebook.

The Not-All-That-Particularly-Great Escape

Using stolen cutlery from the mess hall, we quietly dug a tunnel from kennel 13. It was going pretty well; by late August we had completed nearly two miles, complete with lights, a makeshift rail track, three stations, twelve turnstiles, and a Starbucks. However, we suffered a setback when we accidentally surfaced in the cat camp next door…

34E4wD3

“My dog chillin in his hole,” explains Redditor teach_me_how_to_data.

File Under “Gossip”

“… and so Mrs. Wiggles, that’s that nice Schnauzer I see on Thursdays, well she won’t let her puppies play with the Robinson’s puppies across the street anymore since Mr. Robinson flipped out and bit the mailman. And the dogs in that house aren’t very well behaved, either, I can tell you!”

image

“He loves getting his nails done,” says Redditor shazolin.

I Hope You Realize This Means War

For agonizing, eternal minutes, she and the interloper merely stared at one another, each afraid to move or speak. At last, the visitor found his courage, stepped forward, and offered the traditional greeting of his people:

“PPPTHHHHHTHTHBBBTHHHTHHHHHPPPPPPPTH!”

14520025423_a45b55c355_o

“This is Popcorn the Cat facing off one of the many Cincinnati city deer that wondered into my neighbor’s yard. I like to think she was protecting our garden,” says Tawny W.

The Cute Overload Guide to Surviving a Comcast Telephone Cancellation Request

Start of call: The representative seems courteous and helpful, and merely has a few questions to assist with the cancellation process. Although the questions appear unduly personal, you may ease any stress of the experience by looking at this picture of a smiling tiger cub clouded leopard.

14031733253_f0551e0807_o

Minute six: Although theoretically willing to assist with the cancellation, the representative is concerned that your desire to abandon such a caring, loving service may be due to latent feelings of resentment of one or both parents, and suggests weekly therapy along with a complimentary 20 Mbps upgrade. During this phase, you may need to gaze at this bunny for strength.

14282313500_c92dd58617_o

Minute eighteen: Now sobbing into his mouthpiece, the representative demands to know, to learn, to feel the reasons why you have chosen to break the heart of this fine service that exists only to serve you. Was it that one time the Game of Thrones season finale got all blocky? That wasn’t our fault, dammit! During this phase, hide all sharp objects and secure any firearms you may own. This kitten represents your last best chance to retain your sanity. Good luck.

14499165396_ab7721db3f_o

The inspiration for this post, if you need it.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 13,930 other followers