Takes Just Five Seconds, Flat!

Got a cat? Make a mat! Create your own throw rugs, placemats, and shawls in seconds with the Ronco Cat Flattener! Cat not included (but is extruded).

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It’s WALLACE OUERLE, cool cat from New York City!

Turn Naptime into Knowledge!

Would you like to learn a new language? Stop smoking? Understand Nietzsche? Operate a Zamboni? You can do all these things while you sleep, with HypnoBear™, the self-help system that’s as easy as a catnap. Simply select one of the hundreds of built-in courses, lie down, and let HypnoBear whisper exciting new ideas deep into your subconscious. Order now, and we’ll include your choice of first-year accounting, pre-med, or tractor repair completely free!

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“These are pictures of my cat Lulu when she was a kitten almost 5 years ago,” writes Elena P.

Sunset Meowlevard

I am big, it’s the LOLcat pictures that got small!

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Bob Doesn’t Make the Cut

“Number three, we love what you’re doing, you’re giving us great energy, but we’re taking the project in a more cartoon-ish direction, so…

Excalideer?

Listen, strange people lying in ponds distributing deer is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some aquatic ungulate ceremony!


Fawn rescued by boy from flood waters, via Reddit.

UPDATE: Actual story here.

I Am So Baked Right Now, Man

Mindy watched in horror as her sister Muffin plunged headlong into a bowl of batter. But the real horror was to come later…

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Via Blame it on the Voices, which is also my excuse for this caption.

You Know, Hearing Is Overrated

I mean, sure, I’ll miss the tell-tale whirring of the can opener, and I won’t catch that no-good mailman sneaking up on the front porch, but think how relaxing it’s going to be without all that pesky sound. So you can put that away, thanks.

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All Hail His Royal Strangeness…

…the Most Holy Flaminate of Baroovitania, Grand Supreme Pandemonium of Mahnahmahnah, Exalted High Wazoo of Wysiwyg, his excellency Lord Snorgulus von Hippotickler, DDS!


Via Reddit.

Meanwhile, at the Knights of the Illuminati Reception Hall…

After suffering endless renditions of “The Hokey Pokey” during the Gowen/Geter wedding reception, the young Gowen triplets attempt to start a group yawn.

We Are the All-Seeing Oracle of Squee

There is no need to speak — we know why you are here. You seek Teh Qte, the ultimate expression of cuteness in the universe. While we put our heads together on that, how’s about an offering of sunflower seeds?

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Via Reddit.