Kitty Faith Healing

“Oh, most merciful Supreme Cat on high, we pray thee send a miracle through my paws, that blessed Brother Mousie may frolic and scamper once more, and in return, I promise not to bite him so hard in the future, hal-lay-loo-yuh!”

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Via Reddit.

‘Allo, Mah Darl-leeng…

Ah apollo-jahse for arriveeng in your keetchen wisout an een-vee-tay-shon, but I could not keep mahzelf away. You look so ravisheeng in your housecoat and slipp-ayres, my loff. Now, eef you weel cease wis zhe shriekeeng, I shall make zhe toast to your beauty…

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Via Mashable. Update: “not”

See Things Only a Squirrel Could Believe!

Did you know that dinosaurs and squirrels roamed the Earth together? It’s true! Just one of the many fascinating factually true facts waiting for you at The Museum of Alternative Natural History!


Over 30 lifelike exhibits will show you the absolute truth that so-called “paleontologists” and “scientists” don’t want you to know!

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You’ll see how squirrels and dinosaurs lived together in harmony, and invented fire, agriculture, linoleum, moveable type, and the classic Partridge Family lunchbox!

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So when you’re ready for real answers, come to The Museum of Alternative Natural History! Just $24.95 for adults, $19.95 for impressionable children! Free parking!

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Via The Daily Mail.

Something to Crow About

In this BBC nature program, a clever crow named 007 shows off some mad skills, acing a complex eight-part test of problem-solving ability.

Takes Just Five Seconds, Flat!

Got a cat? Make a mat! Create your own throw rugs, placemats, and shawls in seconds with the Ronco Cat Flattener! Cat not included (but is extruded).

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It’s WALLACE OUERLE, cool cat from New York City!

Turn Naptime into Knowledge!

Would you like to learn a new language? Stop smoking? Understand Nietzsche? Operate a Zamboni? You can do all these things while you sleep, with HypnoBear™, the self-help system that’s as easy as a catnap. Simply select one of the hundreds of built-in courses, lie down, and let HypnoBear whisper exciting new ideas deep into your subconscious. Order now, and we’ll include your choice of first-year accounting, pre-med, or tractor repair completely free!

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“These are pictures of my cat Lulu when she was a kitten almost 5 years ago,” writes Elena P.

Sunset Meowlevard

I am big, it’s the LOLcat pictures that got small!

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Bob Doesn’t Make the Cut

“Number three, we love what you’re doing, you’re giving us great energy, but we’re taking the project in a more cartoon-ish direction, so…

Excalideer?

Listen, strange people lying in ponds distributing deer is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some aquatic ungulate ceremony!


Fawn rescued by boy from flood waters, via Reddit.

UPDATE: Actual story here.

I Am So Baked Right Now, Man

Mindy watched in horror as her sister Muffin plunged headlong into a bowl of batter. But the real horror was to come later…

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Via Blame it on the Voices, which is also my excuse for this caption.