Life Is Hard For Mildly Perturbed Cat

From his favorite spot, almost but not quite in the shade of the large oak tree, Mildly Perturbed Cat contemplates the dissatisfying state of his existence.


So many of his feline brethren have found fame and adulation on the Internet. His cousin Grumpy adorns books and T-shirts; Happy from down the block can has all the cheezburger he wants.


Yet this parade of stardom and glory passes him by. He is anonymous, forgotten, celebrated by none save for a single hack writer on an obscure cute-animal website.


Via Steve Freeman.

That Trump, He’s Such a Card

I’m telling ya, this latest meme is yooge. This meme is gonna be the biggest meme of all the memes that ever hit the Intermeme, and I’ll bet my nine billion dollar fortune on it: Cats… with hair… like mine!


I’m telling ya, it’s sweeping the nation! People using #trumpyourcat to show America what real class looks like, the kind of class that only guys with a ten-billion dollar net worth usually can afford.


Can you feel it, America? Can you smell it? That is the smell of Trumpmentum, ladies and gentlemen! So grab your cat, grab some hair trimmings, and let’s make this happen! If this ain’t the biggest thing ever, then I ain’t a man with 12 billion dollars!


Via… oh, just everybody.

I’m a Watchdog! Get It?

Because I’m a dog, and I’m attached to your wrist, just like a watch, so I’m kind of like a watch that’s also a dog… Dang, this joke was so much funnier before smartphones came along.


“This means she loves you,” notes Redditor olafwa.

Kids These Days and their Expectations

“Honey, I’m sorry they didn’t have any shopping carts shaped like racing cars. How about mommy buys you a big box of Tuna-Snax instead?”


Take This Back and Tell the Cook He’s Fired!

I specifically ordered chilled, organic, gluten-free, non-GMO, ethically-sourced, free-range, Gala apple slices, and you serve me chilled, organic, gluten-free, non-GMO, ethically-sourced, free-range, Granny Smith apple slices! Has the entire world gone completely insane?!


You Had One Job, Rex! One Job!

I drive all the way to the ballpark when I’m supposed to be at the office, buy an extra ticket just to get you in here, we walk halfway around the stadium looking for a concession stand that sells “frankfurters” because you think “hot dogs” is speciesist, so when Manny Mota hits a once-in-a-career homer into our section, you’re supposed to catch the freaking ball!


Via Reddit/Imgur.

A Public Service Announcement from the Department of Science Fiction

Remember, this is radioactive mutant giant spider season in the southern United States, portions of South America, and of course Australia. Protect yourself and loved ones by keeping pets and children away from webs, making an escape plan in case of invasion, and keeping your flamethrower fully fueled at all times.


Via Reddit/Imgur.

Hey There, Fellow Bunnies!

Wow, it’s great to be with other bunnies, which I also am as well! So what kind of bunny things are you guys doing? Wrinkling your noses, am I right? Man, I love doing that! And hopping, don’t get me started with the hopping! Wow, I totes love you guys, I could hug each and every one of you!


Pretty as a Pitcher

Let’s say you have a pitcher. You could fill it up with water
And drink eight glasses every day, like experts say you oughter
Or mix a batch of lemonade, for outdoor entertaining
Some sangria to just see ya through evenings when it’s raining
Hey, margaritas would be nice, they’ll make you briefly giddy
But for delight all day and night, just fill it up with kitty!

dtAOSDm - Imgur

Via Reddit.

Paging Erwin Schrödinger

Imagine you place a kitty in a box, and then place that box in another box with another kitty. According to the theory of Qtetum Mechanics, there is a 46% chance that the kitties will be furiously whapping each other, a 72% chance they will be cuddling each other, a 19% chance they will be simultaneously whapping and cuddling, and a 218% chance they will just stare at you until you give them treats.


Via Reddit/Imgur.



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