OH-BOY-OH-BOY-I’M-GOING-TO-THE-BEACH-I’M-GOING-TO-THE-BEACH-I’M-GOING-TO-THE-BEACH-YUP-YUP-I’M-GOING-TO-THE-BEACH-OH-BOY-OH-BOY-ARE-WE-THERE-YET-HUH-IS-THIS-THE-BEACH-YET-HUH-IS-IT-HUH?
By the way, what’s a "beach"? I hope it’s not that place with all of the …
WATER!!!!!! NOOO!!! I don’t wanna go in the water!!! Water is EVIL!!! It’s full of monsters with sucky tentacles, and giant fish with big bitey teeth, and they all go to the bathroom in there!!!
Are you trying to KILL ME?! If this is about the stain on the carpet, it wasn’t my fault! Can’t you at least have the decency to tie me in a sack, you cold-hearted murderer?! I’ll get you for this if it’s the last thing I do!
Can’t … breathe! … Caught … in … tentacle! … Pulling … me … down! … Must … escape … !
Humph! I’m never talking to either of you again, you … you … doggie killers, you! And from now on, I’ll do whatever I want on the carpet, and you can fetch your own damn slippers!
Found on the aptly-named SomethingAwful.com by drowner-inner "Non Applicable"
Many pet owners dread having to take long trips with their animals, but there’s no reason why you and your cuddly canine companion can’t enjoy the pleasure of travel together, as long as you follow these simple steps when packing your pet:
- Place hind legs together and fold upwards across chest
- Fold front legs over hind legs to secure
- Fold modesty tail upward to conceal naughty bits
It’s that simple! Now you have a perfectly packed puppy, ready to check with luggage or slide into the overhead compartment. Happy trails!
That’s presicion work, Matt K.
I break out my best Cockney accent for this post, and some joker tops me with two simple words:
A winner is you, Greg N.
Lions can melt snow by having an orgy!
Cows can communicate telepathically with their tongues!
Puppy breath can be used as a biological weapon!
And the most amazing science fact of all: Allison U. finds awesomely weird photos!!
Many exotic species—chameleon, zebra, Michael Jackson, just to name a few—depend on camouflage for survival. But few are as cunning as incognitus redonkulii, commonly known as the "Dessert Lizard." As patient as it is gifted, the Dessert Lizard has mastered the art of blending into the environment so completely that it can enjoy its diet of meringue without detection. In this photo, for example, the Dessert Lizard has cleverly assumed the shape of a fork.
Thanks to National Geographic Your Shot. Photo by the Bonnie "Macro lens at the ready!" Marsh. I’ll never look at flatware the same way again, Sender-Inner Johanna S.
When hurricane Hannah separated two ultra-prosh white tigers from their mother, Anjana came to the ResQte. Anjana, a chimp at TIGERSin South Carolina, became surrogate mom and playmate to the cubs, even helping with bottle feeding, according to The Sun (and don’t miss the slideshow). But here’s the truly amazing part: Anjana does this all the time, having raised leopard and lion cubs.
Found via various sites. You young’uns may appreciate this explanation of the hovertext.
"Blimey, ‘ere it is, another cold, gloomy ‘Tocktober, and I’m frozen straight down to me flippin’ giblets!"
"Still, it’s not as bad as them cheeky blokes what sneaks up be’inds ya, snappin’ pictures of yer bum, now didn’t it?"
Snap-snap, grin-grin, quack-quack, nudge-nudge, say ne’more, Lauren K.
It was half past midnight when I rolled up to the seediest dive on the wharf. The ocean air send a prickly feeling up my back—the kind you get when danger lurks behind every door.
Inside, I grilled a barfly for information, but she just turned her back and gave me the cold shoulder. That dame was no lady—and it bugged me.
Suddenly, I heard a noise in the back room. I burst through the door just in time to put the bite on some yellow coward trying to escape.
For the next chapter in the thrilling adventures of Benson Hedges, Private Eye, visit sender-inner Heather’s Flickr photoset!
As the developed world copes with the economic calamity, we must not forget emerging nations such as Orangustan, where widespread unemployment and rising fuel prices have caused severe overcrowding on public transportation.
Found in a Fark Photoshop contest thread by (checking notes) … um … oh, that’s right—me. 
"… And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because Itold Bill that if they move my drawer one more time, then I’m going to quit, because they’vemoved my drawer four times already this year, butthen they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, and I keptthe staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if theytake my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…"
Yeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh, Veronica H.
