Duck, Duck! Goose!

Pray silence, please, and bow down before the most esteemed Sir Reginald Goosington-Drake, Grand Duck of Dukeburg, Royal Order of the Giblet, Earl of Brouhaha, Milk of Magnesia, Twelfth Marquis of the House of Pancakes, Sultan of Stouffer, Fresh Prince of Foie Gras, Clark of Kent…

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“Did someone say duck?” asks Robert Payne.

Like I Ain’t Sweatin’ Enough Already

Yeah, I like being a turtle OK. Shell keeps the rain off, kinda handy. Plenty of food right there at ground level, just help yourself. And of course, y’always know the way home, heh heh — boy, I hear that one enough times. Only complaint, really, this the hot part of the year ain’t the best time to be born wearing a turtleneck sweater.

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Via Virginia State Parks.

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Cucciolo

18700265872_b4362f573c_hRecently in Trieste, Italy, a nice man took his dog for a walk — and then did all the walking himself. We don’t know why he did that, but it was molto gentile of him.

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Via Antonio Marano.

Take Another Little Pizza My Heart

O pizza, I am your slave. Though your cheesy aroma fills my senses, my search for you remains fruitless (which is fine because I don’t like fruit).

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Torment me no longer, pepperoni-encrusted temptress! For you, I would journey across desolate deserts, majestic mountains, and decorative driftwood!

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AT LAST! THOU ART MINE! Now to catch up with the rest of you, om nom nom…

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From “Pizza in the Wild,” a photo collection from Jonpaul Douglass.

 

Rubik’s Qte

Well, that was easy. The whole point of this thing is to get the colors all scrambled up, right? Took me about five seconds. Honestly, I don’t see why you’re making such a fuss about it.

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Via Giles Turnbull.

At Tootsie Pop Testing Labs

Researchers attempting to solve the mystery of how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop have switched to kitties after decades of getting unreliable results from overly-clever owls.

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Via Leonard Gee.

Oh Swell, Now I’ll Need to Bring Back $5,000 Worth of Cat Food

This happens every time I take a road trip. Before I leave, I run down a mental list: Front door locked, check. Key with neighbor, check. Lights off, check. Plants watered, check. And then I’ll be halfway to where I’m going before I realize: I forgot to turn off the kitten replicator!

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You Win This Round, Gravity

You may think you can keep me down, but I’ll be back… with some boots on, or maybe a rope ladder. Whatever, I like it down here better anyway.

An armadillo having a small problem with upward mobility at the Parc Zoologique & Botanique de Mulhouse in France.

It’s The Princess Pricklepants Show!

Hi-dee-ho there, Pricklers and Pricklettes! Last week, we saw how much more fun the “Star Wars” prequels would be with HUNGRY DINOSAURS! (I especially enjoyed seeing Jar-Jar being eaten alive!) But today we’re going to have FUN ON A CATTLE RANCH!

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Running a ranch is HARD WORK, kiddies! Everybody wants to eat your cows without paying for them! Why, just this morning, mean old Barnaby Bear tried to sneak up on me while my back was turned!

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And if that wasn’t bad enough, I had to chase away ALLIGATORS! I’m telling ya, it would be so much simpler just to go out for a burger and a milk shake…

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“Here are some pics of our sweet hedgehog Princess Pricklepants (farmer, space traveler, etiquette advice columnist) from her experiences running a farm,” says sender-inner Steven B.

Pet Shop Ploys

Jeff Wysaski is the inventive mind behind Obvious Plant, in which he enlivens the retail experience by replacing store signs with his own creations. Recently, Jeff visited the pet store, where he upgraded Teh Qte with a generous helping of Teh Wut. See more on his Tumblr.

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