I’m Tellin’ Ya, Eddie, if I Just Had a Hammer and Some Nails, We’d Be Livin’ Like Kings

“… so the living room, that’s where we’d have a big Dumpster. Tip it, roll in it, do whatever ya want. Maybe also a Foosball table. Then on the second floor, nothin’ but beer and honey.”

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“Welcome to Sunny Florida,” My Shell!

Been here a whole week, hasn’t let up once! I’ll never get a shell-tan if this keeps up!

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Dating Tips for Dogs!

So, you think you’re ready for a whirlwind night on the town with the lady of your dreams? Well, slo-ho-ho-ow down there, buckaroo, because it’s time to learn some basic dating etiquette!

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Tip number one: Take a bath! That “guess what I just rolled in” odor may impress your drinking buddies, but one whiff from your lady friend, and she’ll hand you a one-way ticket to the friend zone!

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Ahh, that’s better! Now it’s time to learn the art of dinner conversation. Make sure you hold her attention by steering the conversation to topics that might interest her:

  • Romantic movies
  • Romantic books
  • Romantic View-Master slides
  • Austrian vs. Keynesian Economic Theory: Which Is More Romantic?

But avoid these topics at all cost!

  • Demolition derby
  • Belt sanders you have owned
  • That thing you rolled in

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Max is quite the ladies pup, Tracey M.!

Shut Down All Garbage Smashers on the Detention Level!

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“A mouse that went into Mission Impossible mode in my house last year,” explains Redditor sharkyshark7.

I Think This Place Is Bugged

I’ve had this feeling for days now: haunting me, gnawing at me, the shadowy dread that tells me I’m not alone. Also, rocks don’t usually have blinking red lights on them, so there’s that little detail…

A Pallas’s cat gets curious about a video camera been placed in the enclosure. Via Laughing Squid.

Invasion of the Kitty Snatchers

We were all so grateful when our Miss Whiskers came back home, and yet she seems… different. She doesn’t hog the sofa anymore, she cleans up her own hairballs, she’s not aloof like she used to be — she actually seems… interested in us.

According to Metro UK, this Cardiff cat seems to be mocking its own “missing” poster — or is it (raises eyebrow) an entirely different cat?!

Turk and Birdwell, Private Eyes!

Coming this fall to Fox! When a rough-and-tumble PI teams up with a brainy by-the-book bird, the fists and feathers fly fast and furious! These partners in crimefighting can’t believe their eyes — and neither will you!

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A birds-eye view from Redditor TomBaum.

Porkour

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed home.
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none.

… and this little piggy went boing-boing roll-roll tumble-thud I-meant-to-do-that all the way over her big brother.

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Jurassic Blorp

As part of the recent 20th-anniversary remastered ultimate platinum fanboy-shakedown special edition of Jurassic Park, a bonus disc featured a version of the film with puppies in place of dinosaurs. A brief sampling:

Via Daily Dot.

E.T. The Extra-terrier-estrial

The heartwarming story of a boy named Elliot, who befriends a strange alien visitor from the Dog Star and must return him to his ship while evading the shadowy agents of the Animal Control Department.

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“Looked after my sisters dog this week. Emailed her a photo to show she was in good hands,” says Redditor mutemut.

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