Modern Urban Legends

According to folklore, if you look into a mirror and chant “Oh-em-gee, I simply have to tweet a selfie of my face when Bieber dissed Solange on Ellen,” a naked imp will appear and attempt to knock some sense into you.

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“This is my eight month-old Sphynx, Ella. She is always, without fail, incessantly the center of attention,” says sender-inner Jenny S.

For Starters, Get Your Claws Out of My Eye

Mother of mine, you’re an angel divine, to you I owe all affection
The wisdom you taught can never be bought, it gave me dreams and direction
Always to you I will ever stay true, and never hurt or betray you,
For all you’ve done for your grateful son, how could I ever repay you?

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Photograph by Graham Love. Post dedicated to Geneva Fournier.

You’re Going to Blame That on Me, Aren’t You?

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Via Zigger_Dog on Flickr_Site.

Eye in the Sky, My Oh My

SOLVANG, CA — It was revealed today that the NSA (Neighborhood Seagull Annoyance) had expanded its surveillance drone program to three additional beaches. An NSA spokesgull defended the move as necessary for detecting terrorist surfers as well as telling that one guy who keeps sunbathing nude on his patio to take it to the tanning salon because seriously, Kevin, we can all see that and it’s gross.


Via Reddit.

Take the Chew-Brite Challenge!

Can Chew-Brite® brand dog biscuits really whiten your dog’s teeth three shades in one week? We asked Barney to take the Chew-Brite Challenge, and one week later, his teeth ar–EEEEEEAAAAAUUUGH!

Via Imgur.

Now, Back to Celebunny Apprentice

“Tyra, I’m very disappointed in your work. The carrot cake you baked was not sufficiently moist, plus you spilled Starbucks on the marble-with-gold-inlay floor of my three-million-dollar hutch on Long Island. You’re fired.”

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Bubble Boggle

Melvyn was a special dog, artistic and graceful. While the other dogs in the pack enjoyed roaming the neighborhood, chasing squirrels, and other typical dog activities, Melvyn stayed behind to rehearse his tribute to Sally Rand’s 1933 bubble dance.

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Tea and No Sympathy

“… and then Leroy, that’s Gloria’s uncle’s cousin’s sister’s youngest (more tea?), well, he up and announces that he’s going to Tibet instead of technical college (how many sugars, sugar?), and I swear you could’ve heard a pin drop… Oh, but listen to me rattle on, I’m not boring you, am I?”

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Cat Fish

An old proverb says: Give a cat a fish, and it will have fish for a day.

Teach a cat to fish, and it will thwack the fishing rod trying to catch another cat, which in turn will just stare at the bouncy feather thing going up and down, boingy-boingy.

And then they will both howl for fish. So just give it to them already.

It’s the Mythical Bunny Bird!

At twilight, just before Easter, when the sun is low and the bunnies are high, you may see the Mythical Bunny Bird way up in the trees, laying Easter eggs for the good girls and boys.

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Via Flickr-er Anissa Wood.