How Much Does This Thing Eat, Anyway?

It’s like a bottomless milk pit or something! I’ve got places to be, y’know?

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This Meeting of the Loyal Order of Hamster Wizards Will Now Come to Order

Thank you. Before we move on to new business, I want to remind you that brother Harfurt Fizzywigg’s workshop on charms and incantations in the defense against cats has been moved to Mondays.

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Now then, it has come to our attention that certain members have been using the spell of fructus amplifico in Mrs. McGinty’s vegetable garden again. Not only does this unauthorized use of magic threaten to expose our secret order, but Mrs. McGinty nearly tripped on a twenty-foot carrot. So it won’t happen again — right, brother Bumblefogg?

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Via TTsuruda.

The C.O. Guide to Boudoir Photography

When done well, boudoir photography creates a special souvenir for a lady to share with her loved one, and cherish herself as she slowly withers and ages. Let’s look at examples of correct and incorrect posing techniques:

Correct: This pose is refined, demure, capturing the subject in a tender moment of relaxation. The coquettish expression conveys a hint of sly mischief: How dare you linger in a lady’s private chambers? it seems to say.

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Incorrect: Overly revealing poses are to be avoided, as they may result in later embarrassment to the subject, angry unannounced visits from husbands and boyfriends, and in some jurisdictions, legal action requiring a hasty relocation to Europe.

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Sender-inner Laurie D. says “Godiva the greyhound was feeling the winter chill so she got a coat which she thought was very weird at first, and then she LOVED it! Snuggly coats for the win!”

Seven-Ten Splat

Welcome back, sports fans, to Bowling for Flies! It’s down to our finalists, Louie “Thundertongue” Muscatola versus Manny “Bug” Zappa!

“I wish I could bowl this well,” laments sender-inner Megan, who apparently never tried just flinging herself down the alley with her tongue out, which turns out to work remarkably well until the management asked me to leave. (PS: Thanks, Brinke!)

I Didn’t Do It

Whatever it was, I didn’t do it. Or that other thing, either. Those bite marks on your sneakers? Those were, um, raccoons. The trash all over the lawn? Aliens. Big green ones. That mysterious activity in your charge account? I’m gonna go with North Korea. Or maybe Anonymous — man, those guys are good.

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How can this Tuxedo Pitbull Puppy not make you smile?” asks Adam Rifkin.

You’re Too Cute to Be Real!

Are you freaking kidding me?! It’s like you escaped from a cartoon or something! I… I can’t even write a caption for you, that’s how impossibly cute you are! The beady eyes! The poofy cheeks! That wry little smile! I can’t take it! Just please, whatever you do, don’t say anything, because it’ll probably be so ultracute that I flip out completely!

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Via Su-May.

Restaurant Fads of the 1970’s

No high-rise hotel of the 70’s was complete without a revolving restaurant perched on the top floor. This trend reached its zenith with the opening of the ultra-exclusive Café Vertige, which seated one only.

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Via Ministry of GIFs.

Batcone of Shame!

I am the darkness…
I am the night…
I am… so going to scratch whoever did this to my cone.

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This is Alexandria, and according to her human, she’s all better now.

Know Your Obscure Horse Breeds!

Horse aficionados are familiar with the Shetland Pony, affectionately nicknamed the “Sheltie.” Less well-known, however, is the “Shelter” pony, which instinctively stands over smaller animals in snow and rain.

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“That’s what friends are for,” says Redditor CityCaption.

“Fetch the Stick” is for Wimps

Us bigger dogs like to play “Fetch the Sticks.” Throw me a handful and I’m a happy dog. Heck, I’ll even fetch the whole tree, if someone would throw one.

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“This is what an addiction to fetch looks like,” notes Redditor Theodora Rex.

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