I Got No Strings on Me

“I mean, everyday it’s just the same old routine: Climb down the tree, forage for nuts, climb up the tree, go to sleep, do it again. And I ask myself, is that all there is? Do I get any choice here? How about you; you ever get that feeling you weren’t in control of your own life?”

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The backstory on this picture is really touching, so take a look.

TV Shows Only Cats Can See

Mousing With the Stars — Five ferocious felines go on a rodent rampage; who will win? Join celebrity judges Jingles, Boo-boo, Princess Poofypants and special guest judge Lindsay Lohan for a rollicking hour of carnage.

Afterschool Special: Licking Licking — Within this respectable suburban community, one family must face its secret shame: Children who lick themselves there in full view of company.

Laser Kitty! — The crime-fighting cat who zaps bad guys with his glowing eyes! Tonight’s episode: “Nipped in the Bud” — Laser Kitty takes on a ruthless gang of inner-city catnip pushers.

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Via Rikki’s Refuge.

I’m Bustin’ Outta This Joint, See?

First, I’m gonna do my Tom Cruise-dangling-from-the-ceiling bit as I break outta this cage, then take the elevator to the basement, sneak past the guards, hop in a getaway vehicle, and bust through the wall! Meanwhile, Doctor Who will tell you how I manage to pull it off!

From the BBC via The Mary Sue.

(All Right, Stay Calm, Need to Think Here…)

(OK, he’s obviously mad at me, but why? Do I owe him money? Need to stall him somehow; maybe I should say “You kill me now, you kill any chance to find the missing amulet!” But what if he’s not looking for an amulet? Still, he’ll have to think about it, and that’ll buy me some time…)

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Reservoir Cats, via solarbreeze69.

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Thursday, 11:25 AM: My partner and I were working the day watch out of Homicide when the call came in. It was Kimba, the White Lion. Once a beloved TV star, now lying on the cold tile of his Brentwood ranch house. The coroner had already pronounced him sleepy when we arrived. Our job: get busy with the Sharpies.

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“Here is Zuri taking a nap with his dog buddies Donald the poodle and Lana the Lab,” says sender-inner Therese C. (Apologies to Jack Webb again.)

The Amazing Pizza Exercise Plan!

Need to give your dog a workout? Just take some pizza to the top of a slide and watch her try to get it!

Big Budgie Is Watching You

“You were not at the Two Minutes’ Whap this afternoon,” said the voice on the telescreen. “Are you unwell?” Winston felt a knot of dread form in his stomach. To lie to Big Budgie, leader of the Party, was the most doubleplus-not-anti-opposite-of-good thing he could do, yet the suspicion that the looming face was nothing but a birdbrain consumed him. He had to think fast. He knew he wasn’t sick. He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick.

“I was out, um, buying you some nice millet seed, sir?”

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“Magnus our kitten watching a budgie on TV that’s so big it seems to be watching him,” says senderplusinner Sheenagh P.

Look Deep Into My Eyes…

You are falling under the spell of my hypnotic gaze… Soon, you will be fully under my control… When you awaken, you will remember nothing, but will obediently bring me tuna and milk whenever I say the trigger word, “meow.” Of course, you were already doing that, so I’m really just hypnotizing you because I’m bored and needed a laugh, but anyway…

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Blue Eyes, via Hanbyul❤.

Ah, That “New Purse” Smell

There’s really nothing like it — that sublime scent of hand-rubbed leather, fresh from the department store. Within a few weeks, it will be compromised with the faint odors of breath mints and lipstick (and for some reason sea bass) , but right now, it’s time for a whiff…

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What to do when there’s no pillow to be found, via Pat (Clench) Williams.

Was That a Giggle I Heard?

Does my fluffy suit make you laugh? Do you think I’m funny?

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Well, maybe you won’t laugh so loud after I give you a taste of my moth-fu skills! Prepare for poofy pastel pain, punk!

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Via It’s Okay To Be Smart, it’s the Rosy Maple Moth, courtesy sender-inner Jessica L.

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