Migrant Office Workers

My people are a proud people. We do not want your pity. Wherever there is work, we will go. Last week, I learn of a job collating documents for a big law firm. When I arrive, there are hundreds of us hoping to be chosen. It is a hard life. But I do not complain. As long as I have my desk and my pack mule Annabelle, I will get by.


Via BuzzFeed.

WE’RE GOING TO VEGAS!

“Mom? Dad? This is Charmaine — say hi, sweetie — she’s a dancer at Leglovers Gentlemen’s Club, she likes fine dining and walks on the beach, and… she’s my blushing bride-to-be!

Meanwhile, at the 42nd Annual Keokuk Kennels Talent Competition…

“… that was Mitzi Cataloons and her Musical Mice, weren’t they just great? And now, those dapper doggies with a song in their hearts and a rumble in their tummies, its the Suppertime Singers with ‘After the Bowl Is Over.’”

The Adventures of Rocket Rat!

In today’s action-packed episode, our plucky but somewhat gullible hero falls for the old legend about the moon being made from cheese, and races to claim it for himself!

Via CutestPaw.

Another Childhood Memory Trashed

When I was just a little NTMTOM, Mommy NTMTOM would take me to Enchanted Forest, “where fairy tales come true.” And there, among the colorful storybook castles, was Timmy the Talking Trashcan. “Feed me your popcorn boxes and candy wrappers,” came a cartoon voice within, and mesmerized I did, earning a jolly “thank you!” every time.

Only in my later years did I learn the mundane truth: What I was convinced was wondrous magic was merely the product of ambitious enterprise and a gift for ventriloquism.

Hey! Who Are You?

And how did you get on the other side of this page? Just for that, I give you a mini air kronche!

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Yeah, But I’ll Grow Into It

You’ll see! Once I grow up and become a Great Dane, I’m going to take up this entire dog bed!

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That’s the Last Time I Trust That Cat GPS

“Turn left, turn right, climb tree, chase a butterfly for fifty yards, daydream about tuna for 28.5 miles… I did everything it told me, and now I’m completely lost!”

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Cat GPS

“In fifty yards, turn right. At the traffic circle, drive around eighteen times. In 100 yards, stare at the ground for at least five minutes, then lick yourself. At the next light, turn left and chase your own tailpipe. You have reached your destination, or a fish market, whichever comes first…”

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Jess B. from San Francisco writes: “Hi there, Love love LOVE your site!! I’m a first-time contributor, so is my cat (as far as I know). Attached is a picture of Truman, riding shotgun at age 0.5 years. He’s three now and a chunky monkey. Hope you post us, thnx!!”

A Tearful Confession

“All right, I admit it — I’m a… a boxhead. For years I kept it from you, where I would go late at night, I was with my fellow boxheads, the one place where I could truly be myself. You don’t know what it feels like, day after day, to see boxes everywhere and know that they want you, need you. Well, I’m not going to live this lie any longer! I’m a boxhead and I’m proud!

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“I hear my cat crying in the bathroom, walking in, I see this,” says Redditor something_something1.