More Fallout From the Economic Downturn

As the developed world copes with the economic calamity, we must not forget emerging nations such as Orangustan, where widespread unemployment and rising fuel prices have caused severe overcrowding on public transportation.

At least those lucky buggers over in Clownistan get CARS!

Found in a Fark Photoshop contest thread by (checking notes) … um … oh, that’s right—me.  :-)

We’re Running Out of Office Space

"… And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because Itold Bill that if they move my drawer one more time, then I’m going to quit, because they’vemoved my drawer four times already this year, butthen they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, and I keptthe staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if theytake my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…"

... and then they moved my drawer to storage and there was garbage on it ...

Yeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh, Veronica H.

How Many Times I Gotta Tell You Kids?

Don’t leave your Chewbacca Halloween costume laying on the floor!  It’ll get all wrinkled!

Try to iron me, and I'll rip your arm off.  Wookees have been known to do that.

Won’t happen again, Jennifer M.

I Promise I’ll Never Drink Again!

"Ugghhhh, why did I let you buy me all of those Jäger shots, Freddy?  Hey, where are you, anyway?"

"I’m behind you in the sink, man!  And lemmie tell’ya, this sucker’s HUGE!"

Well, get over here and hold back my whiskers, willya?

Make the room stop spinning, Amy R.!

Terminal Boxaholism

In recent years, boxhab centers nationwide have seen an alarming 58.2 percent rise in cases of boxaholism, the uncontrollable urge to wedge oneself into crates, shoeboxes, picnic coolers, floor safes, suitcases, hope chests, Bundt pans, mailing tubes, lunch pails, and all manner of portable enclosed spaces.  In extreme cases, boxaholics will instinctively assume box-like shapes when no container is available.

Just 31 more of these and we can play chess.

It’s time for intervention, Kyllyssa.

The Secret Squirrel Service

I CAN HAS PARDON?There are two kinds of squirrel in Washington, DC—the kind you vote for, and the kind you don’t. And a recent Washington Post article traces the fascinating history of America’s fuzziest bureaucrats and their love/hate relationship with our nation’s capital.

Hunted to near-extinction by the start of the 1900’s, squirrels were imported into DC by civic leaders hoping to add charm to city parks.

By the 1950’s, the squirrels held a veto-proof majority, brazenly devouring plants and digging up gardens, including the private putting green of President Eisenhower. But Washingtonians love them all the same; reached for comment, a representative of the Squirrel Lobby said "Eep."

Live, Damn You! LIVE!!

"NOOOOOOO! (puff, puff) DON’T LEAVE ME!! (puff, puff) 

I HAVEN’T HAD WALKIES YET! (puff, puff)  AND IT’S ALMOST DINNERTIME! (pounds chest) 

AT LEAST TELL ME (puff, puff) HOW TO WORK (puff, puff)  THE CAN OPENER!! (puff, puff)  NURSE!! I NEED 50 CCs OF ADRENALINE AND A CHEW TOY, STAT!!"

... and don't forget the machine that goes 'ping!'

There was (sigh) nothing we could do, Amanda L.

More C.O. Gardening Tips!

When planting dogwood, it’s very important to find a planter box that’s the right size for the dogwood you have in mind, and a dog who’ll submit to being planted.  Most dogs won’t, but … (chuckle, titter) … this dog would. (pffft, chortle, tee-hee)

Flowerbed

Image via Fark.com ;)

I Love it When a Friendship Just Works

"Yeah, me and Allie are like, total BFF, because we have this understanding, see.  She always gives up the sunny spot when I walk into the room, she never complains when I use her for a pillow … yep, she knows who’s boss, and I totally love that about her."

(... right, and I'll be leaving you a little thank-you gift in your dog food later.)

See, that’s the key, Katherine N.—balance.

My Little Mashup

I wuuuvvv you, My Little … Alien?! Meet Finnish artist Mari Kasurinen, whose Deviant Art gallery gives "My Little Pony" a gothic, pop-culture makeover.  Some ideas are naturals, like "My Little Princess Leia,"  batting her eyes at "My Little Stormtrooper."

Aren't you a little prosh for a stormtrooper?

Others call for a little mental adjustment, like "My Little Batman," to say nothing of "My Little Joker."

Kiss my Bat-butt, evildoers!

… but nothing can prepare your doomed soul for "My Little Cthulhu," a real labor of Lovecraft.

OMG F'TAGN!  SQUEEEEEEEE!

I love the way your So-Soft Submishe™ feels, Erica H.

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