The Lurking Nose!

In icy Nosevember, as the west wind blows
As mercury plummets and shutters close
As candles flicker their final throes
What lurks nearby, do you suppose?

Ruh-rohs!

From highs or lows, in grim repose
Its steady, strident sniffing grows
Like tell-tale hearts in tales of Poe’s
And where it comes from, no one knows.

Yesss, I yam eeen-VEEEES-ee-bulhs.

So heed this warning, to all those
Who seek out warmth for frozen toes
Where icy moistness sometimes goes,
Beware the chill of … THE LURKING NOSE!

Dscn1505

Warm thanks to Kirsten S.(top photo) Eilen R. (middle photo) and Emily (bottom photo.)

We Take You Now to King Neptune Memorial Speedway

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Atlantianapolis 500, and if you’ve just joined us, it’s been a thrilling race so far.  In a stunning upset, odds-on favorite Mario Clamdretti dropped out of the race when his 300-seahorsepower racer crashed on the far turn.  And as we enter the final laps, I see that current leader Ridley McFlatback is getting the signal from his pit crew to come in for service …

Check my left flipper; it's running a little hot.

I hear he’s got endorsement deals with Shell Oil AND Turtle Wax, Brinke G.

// UPDATE — photo by Mike Roberts, like the caption says — and you can buy a print here! – Ed. //

I Gotta Get Outta This Racket

"I can’t take this off-the-wall job anymore. It’s not my fault; I try to give good service, but I’m hamstrung all the time. I hoped I could court a sports career, but I guess I don’t have the … nerve."

One of these things is not like the others ...

Game, set and match, Stephanie T.

Proshness in About an Hour!

All right, cover your left eye and read the center line, please?

"I … A … M … T … E … H … Q … T … E"

Very good.  Now the right eye, next line, please?

"U … M … U … S … T … L … U … V … M … E"

I want the rimless What's-Her-Name frames!

20/20 redonkulous, Johanne P.

Read … This … Post … Very … Slowly

Hey, your … (go to break room, get coffee, start crossword puzzle)

watch is … (file TPS reports, finish crossword puzzle, begin writing novel)

running a bit … (finish novel, negotiate Middle East peace, begin life-size toothpick replica of Seattle Space Needle)

... fast.

Thanks … for … the … submishe … Missy … P.

I Kissed A Dog (And I Liked It)

The taste of his milkbone dog lips

I kissed a dog just to try it

I hope my cat boyfriend don’t mind it

9_30_more_kisses_for_walter

Judy O. I think you should either separate them or get a recording contract STAT.

And The Winner Is…

As the entries poured in for our game of Trivial Fursuit (bada bing, Allison Y.!), one thing became clear: Those who love Teh Qte are Teh Smrt. Out of over 540 entries in 8 hours, most of you displayed your Google and Wikipedia skills command of knowledge flawlessly.

Our winner, randomly selected from all correct entries, is Arbed. Congratulations! 

Now, the answers:
( G ) What big cat lives in the Himalayas at altitudes up to 20,000 feet?  The Snow Leopard

Duz we getz kalinder, too?

(  E ) What TV character was pursued by a policeman named Dibble?  Top Cat

Now, imagine this walnut is your brain, see ...

(  H ) Who was the Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office under Margaret Thatcher and John Major?  Humphrey

I am NOT amused.

( AL ) What author’s museum is home to many six-toed cats?  Ernest Hemingway

The Old Man And Teh Qte

( SN ) What are the collective names for a group of cats and a group of kittens?  Preferred answers: clowder and kindle, respectively, but we also accepted cluster, clutter, glaring, kendle, nuisance and pounce.

Not chowder, you idiot!  CLOWDER!!

( SL ) What game involves cat’s eyes?  Marbles

I think you lost these. (*snerk*)

Thank you to EVERYONE who participated! If you’d like to see more competishes, let us know in the Comments!

I Think I’m Having A Wedge Issue

Hey, peeps!  While we sweat out the election results, test your trivia chops and you might win a Cute Overload Page-A-Day Calendar 2009! (rules below)

(  G ) What big cat lives in the Himalayas at altitudes up to 20,000 feet?
(  E ) What TV character was pursued by a policeman named Dibble?
(  H ) Who was the Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office under Margaret Thatcher and John Major?
( AL ) What author’s museum is home to many six-toed cats?
( SN ) What are the collective names for a group of cats and a group of kittens?
( SL ) What game involves cat’s eyes?

UPDATE!  CONTEST IS CLOSED — THANKS TO ALL WHO ENTERED!

Umm ... Egg salad?  James Bond?  The Ming Dynasty?  Guam?

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT OFFICIAL-SOUNDING RULES WITH NUMBERS AND EVERYTHING

  1. Entries must be received by 9 PM PST, Nov. 4, 2008.
  2. One entry per person, please.
  3. One winning entry will be selected at random from correct entries.
  4. Contest open to all except employees of CuteLabs, their immediate families and illegitimate children; people who talk in movie theaters; door-to-door harmonica salesmen; and penguins.
  5. Entries will be judged by NTMTOM, whose decision is fatal.

Q: Who’s an awesome sender-inner?  A: Vanessa P.

// UPDATE: Comments are closed so as to not give away answers! //

Percival Plans His Escape

"Laugh at my knobbular knees, will they?  Hah!  I’ll just pick up a bunch of these feathers, glue them on, and — VOOM! — I’m outta here!"

Atlantic City, here I come!

I don’t think so, Kate E.

Be the Banana

Relax, young apprentice.  Clear your mind of worldly cares.  Listen to the soothing wind chimes as you earth the energy within your body and become one with the environment around you.  Concentrate on the banana.  Feel your life energy reach out to it, lifting it off the ground … yesssss, that’s it … goooood …

Yeah, well, if we don't cover peeling in our next lesson, I want a refund.

Found in 126 Photos Worth Freezing at yeeeeee.com.