Everyone Knows It’s Kitty

Hey, kids! What’s fun for a girl and a boy? Clicking that button to the left, then starting the video, that’s what.

This Just In: Puppies for the Troops!

As part of a week-long series of “The Colbert Report” in Iraq, Stephen “Truthiness” Colbert teamed up with Tom “Niceiness” Hanks to send a USO care package to the troops, complete with Tang, ice cream — and a puppy! See the whole hilarious skit here (and skip to 3:22 for the puppyness!)

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Lycanthropy 101

Required for all first-semester students.  Introductory course with emphasis on proper howling techniques.  Schedule permitting, students may advance to intermediate topics such as drinking piña coladas at Trader Vic’s, and hair care.

Meanwhile, at the Bargain Matinee…

“Will you kids stop wriggling about down there?  How am I supposed to sneak you in on one ticket if you won’t hold still?!”

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There’s thrifty, and then there’s just cheap, Janet B.

The Eternal Struggle of Dog vs. Cupcake

It all began when that mean TV lady unleashed the hypnotic power that cupcakes have over the feeble canine mind…

… and soon, dogs everywhere had fallen helpless under their vanilla-swirled spell…

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Wake up, Fido, before it’s too late!  Rise up against your sugar-frosted overlords–before they enslave us all!

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A mind-melding apple turnover compels me to credit Micaela R. (middle photo) and Cindy L. (bottom photo).

Could You Please Hit the Snooze Hunch?

Really, I’m too tired, and besides, you’re the one who wanted the “Hunchback of Notre Dame clock/radio with authentic bell sounds,” so just give Quasimodo there a pat on the back and shut that thing off, thanks.

Purveyor of Cute Pictures? Or Shameless Corrupter of Innocent Young Minds?

Concerned citizens!  There is a new threat to the moral well-being of our nation’s youth:  The so-called “Interwebs site” known as Cute Overload.  Do not be fooled by its innocent facade, for behind it lies anti-social behavior, wantonly displayed in full view of impressionable young minds.

Why, just last week, this den of vulgarity displayed a photo of youngsters engaged in “butt-biting.” And sure enough, others began to imitate the vile practice.  If left unchecked, butt-biting leads to disease, Communism, and worst of all, dancing.

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Our grateful thanks to citizen Kris M. for bringing this shocking matter to light.

Are We Too Late for the Audition?

“Hey, I heard you guys were re-making ‘Land of the Lost’ and me and my friend here would be perfect in it!  We got this specialty act, see:  It’s a lizard… riding on top of another lizard! Is that crazy?  Is that a wacky bit?  I’m telling ya, they loved us in the Catskills!  So when do we start filming?”

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Look! Up in the Sky!

It’s a bird … on a bird!  Yes, it’s time once again for the thrilling adventures of Gaylord, The Wonder Crow, atop his trusty vulture Dagmar as they fight a never-ending crusade against improper grocery bagging practices! Whenever bags are filled past rated load limits, wherever bread is crushed beneath cantaloupes and detergent boxes, Gaylord and Dagmar are there to save the day!

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Sorry, Catherine — all the good superhero gigs were taken.

Friday Haiku: If This Thing Starts Talking, I’m Out of a Job

Banana, smiling / Parrot, eying warily / You, writing Haiku

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The pic is bananas, B-A-N-A-Chloe S.

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