Please, Think of the Kitties

This week is Sweatshop Kitty Awareness Week (yeah, it kinda gets lost in the whole Fourth of July weekend, but all the other weeks were taken), calling attention to the plight of kitties around the world who put in long hours, for just a handful of kibble a day.

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A public service message from Renata C. and this station.

Scenes From Yesterday’s Coronation

It was a day of grandeur and majesty as Cutesylvania’s ruling elite turned out to watch King Ace XVII ¼ ascend the throne.  We now have exclusive photos of the royals as they enjoy the glittering excitement of this once-in-a-lifetime event…

And first, here’s Princess Gertrude Hortense Von Mississippi-Two-Mississippi, looking absolutely giddy in her tiara made entirely out of used dental fillings…

Is my face on crooked?

Next, Prince Poundcake Mellon III, Dodgers VI, eagerly awaits the King’s arrival…

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And here we see Prince Oreo Keebler-Pepperidge, Earl of Hydrox, as he watches the thrilling five-and-a-half hour ceremony in rapt attention…

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Our thanks to cuteporters T.U.M., Rachael C. and Julie F.

Arise, King Kitten!

… and by the power vested in me by the kingdom of Cutesylvania, I hereby crown thee King Ace XVII ¼, Lord Sovereign of the Sandbox, Monarch of Mousies, First Heir to Choice Sunbeams, Divine Ruler of all…

Wait, something isn’t right here.  I think it’s the crown.  We need something that lends a certain gravitas befitting the dignity of this solemn occasion…

ACE

Oh, yeah.  That’s working for me.  Proceed.

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Can I be the Duke of URL, Diane V.?

Vintage G’day

Australia, 1942:  A visiting American soldier comments on how much smaller the rats are compared to his native Brooklyn.

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More classic cuteness from Flickr Commons.

I Can Never Find Anything In This Place!

Oh man, (rummage, rummage) I am in such trouble!  My big presentation (shuffle, shuffle) is due in ten minutes (rustle, rustle), and I can’t find my kitten! (panic, panic)  I could swear I put it (slam, slam, slam, slam) in one of these (slam) drawers, but…

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Psssst — I’m right over here, genius.  You know, where you filed me?

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Uh, right.  I knew that.

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In today’s post, the role of “frantic bunny” was played by Jessica H., and the role of “sarcastic kitten” was played by Matt and Brandi.

Meanwhile, at Bear Automotive…

ncVI3Well, your distributor cap is a little cracked, and your timing belt and spark plugs need replacing.

I should be able to have it back to you by tomorrow, if I can get the parts, that is.

Will that be cash, Robin C. — or do you want us to bill you? (pffft, snort, giggle.)

Tired of Fast Food?

Looking for an alternative to the fast pace of fast food?  Then bring your appetite — and a couple of hours — down to Tortoise Burger, where your meal crawls right to your table.  Have it your way — eventually.

This looks 'shopped.  I can tell from the lettuce...

From a frequently strange photostream found by Dave R.

But I Don’t Wanna Go to Work!

Nooooooooooooo! Everyone hates me there, and they make me feel stupid because I can’t use Excel, and I swear the copier knows when it’s me and it always eats my TPS reports, and besides the news said we were gonna have a snow day!

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This is in no way autobiographical, Tina K.

Free Raccoon With 20-ounce Pepsi!

For a very limited time, these Tulsans got a bonus with their soda:  Two caffeinated raccoons, followed by a “skunk whisperer” named Bruha (ha!) who called it “refreshing” but blew his chance to call it “the choice of a new generation.”

Nobody Understands Goth Guinea, Either

Oh, kindred soul — while others mock you, I too have faced the abyss, stared into the swirling vortex of despair from which no ray of hope escapes, in which we all are doomed to…  to…  sa-a-a-ay, that’s a really cute top in that ad there…

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Wait, now I’ve lost my train of thought… what was I doing?  Oh yeah — playing!

Nothing says “soul-crushing angst” like the name “Darklord Nibbles,” Laurie C.

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