Friday Haiku: Something Smells Fishy

Ferret meets lobster / Romance?  Dinner?  Kinkiness? / We await your words

Sniffing Lobster Tocks

It wasn’t a rock, Kate S. — it was a rock lobster!  Down!  Down!

We Put the “D’oh!” in “Doughnut”

3516791139_8e444d6e74 Whether you’re handling dangerous nuclear materials, or just skateboarding through the Kwik-E-Mart, you need plenty of energy to get you through the morning.

So start your day the Simpsons way — with a hearty helping of Homer Simpson brand Frosted Pink Doughnuts.  They’re the waistline-expanding part of this balanced breakfast!

Endorsed by Dr. V at www.pawcurious.com

More doggie dough-nuttiness here.

 

Patri-idiotic

Last month, we reported on Stephen Colbert’s selfless — and momentarily cute — journey to entertain the troops in Iraq, where he made the ultimate sacrifice: Agreeing to have his head shaved.

And what became of the hair, may you ask?

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Callista Y.: Great sender-inner, or the greatest sender-inner?

Myron and Ethel Noodleman’s Vacation

“… all right, these next slides are from when we went to Pismo Beach last year, because Myron’s doctor said the sea air would be good for his bursitis.  And we got a lovely room facing the ocean, first floor so Myron wouldn’t have to walk so much…”

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“… now, Pismo Beach is where they have the very famous clam digging, of course, and so Myron and I just had to try it for ourselves.  Didn’t find any clams, oh well…”

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“… and then we saw–HONEY!! You promised not to put that slide in!  I swear, that man–he’s as frisky as a teenager sometimes, I just don’t know what to do with him…”

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“… so anyway, we had a very lovely time, and we met this very nice lady named Angela E., who took these pictures of us, didn’t they come out nice?  And she said she would send them to a place on the Internet called… well, I forget the name; Cute Obstruction, or Cute Upchuck or something like that…”

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I’d Better Call in Sick Today…

… because according to this thing, I’ve got a temperature of 150 calories!

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Backstory from sender-inner Sandy C.: “I’d like to submit this photo of my hamster named Lenore who is attempting to lob a pretzel stick away without me or my fiance knowing.”  Not sure I agree with you 100 percent on your choice of hiding place, Lenore.

You Are No Match For My Stoat-fu!

Aiieeeeee! I shall defeat you with my Flying Crane Leap!  Hah! Soaring Monkey Punch!  Hai-YAH! Leaping Iguana Wedgie!  Bouncing Walrus Tickle!  Waddling Penguin Slap-Fighting!  Drunken Thompson’s Gazelle Karaoke Hibachi Boxing!

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We humbly bow to your sender-innering skill, Laura S.

The Cutest Nightmare You’ll Ever Have

Hewwo.  We’re cweepy cwawwy cattewpewwers…

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… and we’re watching you…

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… and we’ll turn your hair white with fright.  BOO!!

IT'S THE LOVE CHILD OF PHYLLIS DILLER AND RIP TAYLOR!!!

From top: Cute Tiger Moth Caterpillar by Vanessa Pike-Russell,
What the….? by OntCopper,
Check out the eyes! by Mean and Pinchy

Oh, So That’s How They Did It

Dear Diary:  Have located source of the Orange Creatures.  Apparently, they arrive via a small, portable window, which the Tall Dogs carry with them and consult frequently.  An exciting find, as now it may be possible to return Orange Creatures to their own dimension.  More study required.

Thank You for Flying Air Indignity…

… in the event of a water landing, your e-collar may be used as a flotation device.

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Does the “e” stand for “embarassing,” Ginger K.?

Chewy, Get us Out of Here!

While the chump in charge churlishly chides Chewy Chipmunk to check out, Chewy chooses to cheerfully chew chestnuts* in his chunky cheeks.  “Don’t be childish, chief!” chimes Chewy to his chum.  “I’m no chicken!”

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Worst. Copilot. Ever by powerpig. Bonus: See the “making of” video!
* Yes, I know those aren’t chestnuts.

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