The Cutest Nightmare You’ll Ever Have

Hewwo.  We’re cweepy cwawwy cattewpewwers…

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… and we’re watching you…

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… and we’ll turn your hair white with fright.  BOO!!

IT'S THE LOVE CHILD OF PHYLLIS DILLER AND RIP TAYLOR!!!

From top: Cute Tiger Moth Caterpillar by Vanessa Pike-Russell,
What the….? by OntCopper,
Check out the eyes! by Mean and Pinchy

Oh, So That’s How They Did It

Dear Diary:  Have located source of the Orange Creatures.  Apparently, they arrive via a small, portable window, which the Tall Dogs carry with them and consult frequently.  An exciting find, as now it may be possible to return Orange Creatures to their own dimension.  More study required.

Thank You for Flying Air Indignity…

… in the event of a water landing, your e-collar may be used as a flotation device.

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Does the “e” stand for “embarassing,” Ginger K.?

Chewy, Get us Out of Here!

While the chump in charge churlishly chides Chewy Chipmunk to check out, Chewy chooses to cheerfully chew chestnuts* in his chunky cheeks.  “Don’t be childish, chief!” chimes Chewy to his chum.  “I’m no chicken!”

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Worst. Copilot. Ever by powerpig. Bonus: See the “making of” video!
* Yes, I know those aren’t chestnuts.

Please, Think of the Kitties

This week is Sweatshop Kitty Awareness Week (yeah, it kinda gets lost in the whole Fourth of July weekend, but all the other weeks were taken), calling attention to the plight of kitties around the world who put in long hours, for just a handful of kibble a day.

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A public service message from Renata C. and this station.

Scenes From Yesterday’s Coronation

It was a day of grandeur and majesty as Cutesylvania’s ruling elite turned out to watch King Ace XVII ¼ ascend the throne.  We now have exclusive photos of the royals as they enjoy the glittering excitement of this once-in-a-lifetime event…

And first, here’s Princess Gertrude Hortense Von Mississippi-Two-Mississippi, looking absolutely giddy in her tiara made entirely out of used dental fillings…

Is my face on crooked?

Next, Prince Poundcake Mellon III, Dodgers VI, eagerly awaits the King’s arrival…

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And here we see Prince Oreo Keebler-Pepperidge, Earl of Hydrox, as he watches the thrilling five-and-a-half hour ceremony in rapt attention…

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Our thanks to cuteporters T.U.M., Rachael C. and Julie F.

Arise, King Kitten!

… and by the power vested in me by the kingdom of Cutesylvania, I hereby crown thee King Ace XVII ¼, Lord Sovereign of the Sandbox, Monarch of Mousies, First Heir to Choice Sunbeams, Divine Ruler of all…

Wait, something isn’t right here.  I think it’s the crown.  We need something that lends a certain gravitas befitting the dignity of this solemn occasion…

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Oh, yeah.  That’s working for me.  Proceed.

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Can I be the Duke of URL, Diane V.?

Vintage G’day

Australia, 1942:  A visiting American soldier comments on how much smaller the rats are compared to his native Brooklyn.

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More classic cuteness from Flickr Commons.

I Can Never Find Anything In This Place!

Oh man, (rummage, rummage) I am in such trouble!  My big presentation (shuffle, shuffle) is due in ten minutes (rustle, rustle), and I can’t find my kitten! (panic, panic)  I could swear I put it (slam, slam, slam, slam) in one of these (slam) drawers, but…

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Psssst — I’m right over here, genius.  You know, where you filed me?

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Uh, right.  I knew that.

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In today’s post, the role of “frantic bunny” was played by Jessica H., and the role of “sarcastic kitten” was played by Matt and Brandi.

Meanwhile, at Bear Automotive…

ncVI3Well, your distributor cap is a little cracked, and your timing belt and spark plugs need replacing.

I should be able to have it back to you by tomorrow, if I can get the parts, that is.

Will that be cash, Robin C. — or do you want us to bill you? (pffft, snort, giggle.)

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