Welcome to the C.O. Annual Picnic!

Well, hello there!  So glad you could make it!  Grab a plate, because we’ve got chips and guacamole, three kinds of potato salad, there’s a lovely bean casserole you’ve simply got to try, and I just set out a tray of ferrets, so do help yourself to those, and save room for three-layer Jell-O mold…

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And Now, a Word from our Sponsor

In these uncertain times, can you afford not to give your hedgehog complete insurance coverage?  Then call your Allstate agent today and ask about our Hedgehog Term Life Package.

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Everybody’s a Critic

“Ugh, what utter pablum.  Technically proficient, yes, but what exactly is the artist trying to say here?  The whole ‘sad, soulful kitten eyes’ thing is such a cliché, darling — where’s the originality?  I’m looking for something that screams ‘YES! This is real!  This is art!’ and all I’m getting here is ‘mew.’

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I guess we can just skip the “Dogs Playing Poker” retrospective, Matt M.

This Just In: Okey-Dokey Okapi!

She looks like the head-on collision of a zebra and a giraffe, but she’s 100 percent gorgeous.  Meet Kalispell, an okapi born June 27 at the Denver Zoo, one of only a half-dozen okapi zoo births in North America annually for this rare species. But don’t rush to see her yet, Denverites — she’s still under wraps until she gets a bit older.  For more, see the Denver Post.

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Happy Birfday, Tai Shan!

Happy Birfday to You
You’re now two-plus-two
You’re such a cute panda,
Here’s an ice cake for you!

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And maaaa-neeeee mooooreeee … pictures at The Huffington Post.

One Wife’s Private Torment

I’d heard about them on “Oprah,” and some of the girls down at Marcelle’s Salon made jokes about them, but nothing prepared me for the day my husband told me he was … a plushie.

“It’s just something I have to do,” he said, “it’s part of who I am.”  I tried to accept it, but the thought of Bob fantasizing about plush animals, even dressing up as one?  It all seemed so weird.  But with patience and counseling, we worked past our pain, and now our marriage is stronger than ever.

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Thank you so much for sharing, Judy H.

Friday Haiku: Something Smells Fishy

Ferret meets lobster / Romance?  Dinner?  Kinkiness? / We await your words

Sniffing Lobster Tocks

It wasn’t a rock, Kate S. — it was a rock lobster!  Down!  Down!

We Put the “D’oh!” in “Doughnut”

3516791139_8e444d6e74 Whether you’re handling dangerous nuclear materials, or just skateboarding through the Kwik-E-Mart, you need plenty of energy to get you through the morning.

So start your day the Simpsons way — with a hearty helping of Homer Simpson brand Frosted Pink Doughnuts.  They’re the waistline-expanding part of this balanced breakfast!

Endorsed by Dr. V at www.pawcurious.com

More doggie dough-nuttiness here.

 

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Last month, we reported on Stephen Colbert’s selfless — and momentarily cute — journey to entertain the troops in Iraq, where he made the ultimate sacrifice: Agreeing to have his head shaved.

And what became of the hair, may you ask?

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Callista Y.: Great sender-inner, or the greatest sender-inner?

Myron and Ethel Noodleman’s Vacation

“… all right, these next slides are from when we went to Pismo Beach last year, because Myron’s doctor said the sea air would be good for his bursitis.  And we got a lovely room facing the ocean, first floor so Myron wouldn’t have to walk so much…”

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“… now, Pismo Beach is where they have the very famous clam digging, of course, and so Myron and I just had to try it for ourselves.  Didn’t find any clams, oh well…”

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“… and then we saw–HONEY!! You promised not to put that slide in!  I swear, that man–he’s as frisky as a teenager sometimes, I just don’t know what to do with him…”

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“… so anyway, we had a very lovely time, and we met this very nice lady named Angela E., who took these pictures of us, didn’t they come out nice?  And she said she would send them to a place on the Internet called… well, I forget the name; Cute Obstruction, or Cute Upchuck or something like that…”

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