Meanwhile, in Kennel 101…

Winston Smith’s response to the interrogation is more restrained than anticipated:

Rubber Duckie, You’re So Huge

Don’t tell Ernie, but someone zapped his favorite tubbie toy (or our mascot) with the Giganto-Ray and sent it on a goodwill tour.  Hatched by Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman, this 9.5m tall by 11m long rubber duck has been spotted in Europe, Japan, and Brazil.  More photos here, and don’t miss the video below.

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This Just In: Baby Elephant in Utah

Actually, make that this just out, because the Hogle Zoo in Utah introduced a new baby elephant, born to first-time mom Christie on August 10.  The calf, a girl, went on public display over the weekend.

Pink baby elephant feet

Many more photos here, and watch her get rambunctious in this video.

THIS JUST JUST IN (10:08PM PT) courtesy of Holly B.:

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Help Me, Moldy-wan Baloney…

(The following has been typed in Overact-O-Vision™, which will cause you to hear it in the Emperor’s voice from “Return of the Jedi.”  Discontinue use if you experience dizziness, tingling in extremities, or urge to chew scenery.)

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Goooood, my young apprentice.  I can feel the “squee” swelling within you now.  With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.

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I am defenseless.  Take your Jedi weapon.  Strike me down with all of your redonkulousness and your journey towards the cute side will be complete!

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From Animals With Lightsabers, found by Bill S.

Aaaaaaaaa-doggggggg…

We take you now to the monastery at St. Walkies, for a rare glimpse of monks of the Brotherhood of the Sacred Tirebiters as they begin their morning chant…

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Et expecto dominos parcheesi ipso facto kemosabe nolo contendre inflagrante corpus delicti utecay overloadway alendarscay akemay eatgreay iftsgay…

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ettypray oochpay, Kathy W.

I Had The Strangest Dream Last Night

I dreamed that some mysterious force whisked me away into a bleak, endless limbo, where there was no light or sound or even time…

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…and there I stayed for one full day, with no dogs to tease, or legs to rub against, or squeaky toys to mangle, or the scent of sweet, delicious tuna…

Why would anyone want a day without me?  I'm fabulous!

And then I woke up here in my bed.  But it was just a dream, wasn’t it, honey?

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… or was it, Jen B.?

A Day Without Cats: Lessons Learned

Well, another first-ever Day Without Cats has come and gone, never to come again.  And like all historical watershed moments, it impels us to reflect; about us, the Internet, and on the debt we owe to our irreplaceable friend, the cat.

For the cat is more than mere companion, more than protector from the vicious mouse and his flesh-melting death ray, more than the reassuring presence who greets our return each day with cheerful, loving indifference.  He is also our mentor.

For while our great scientific minds struggle vainly to teach cats the intricacies of double-entry bookkeeping and interpretive dance, the cat has a simpler lesson for us:  Approach life with wonder, with eyes wide open, with insatiable curiosity…

… and most of all, dignity.  Always dignity.

Ode to a Day Without Cats

A Day Without Cats? Can this be?
We must stop this catastrophe!

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Search everywhere, from up to down,
And don’t give up until they’re found!

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We’ll catacomb the countryside
To find out where our kitties hide.

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Until we thwart this plan demonic
We’ll search until we’re catatonic!

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We love to hug and chase them so,
Please, Internet, don’t erase them! No!

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Oh, heed our plaintive caterwaul,
Or life will be no fun at all.

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Photos: Burrowing Owl by Barloventomagico. Now I can see better by annkelliott, Meerkat Mischief by MorningThief581. Peek-a-Boo! by Somesay. Tin Head by Dragonfly_dreamer72 and Peek-a-Boo! by Gilles Gonthier.

So, Dr. Charmin, My Old Nemesis…

… we meet again!  You look surprised to see me, you villainous swine…

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Perhaps you’re wondering how I escaped your thugs in Tangiers…

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And that bomb in the Swiss embassy — that was meant for me, I assume?

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It was the girl who warned me — you should never have trusted her…

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And now it’s the end of the line for you, evildoer!

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The sender-inner?  The name’s W. — Robin W.

Benson Hedges, Private Eye in: The Case of the Kidnapped Kitties!

It was one of those nights when all a tired gumshoe wants is to get away from the babes and bullets and have a nice meal in a restaurant where they don’t pat you down for weapons. And so I was about to drown my sorrows in a bowl of Miss Kitty’s famous five-alarm chili when it hit me: Miss Kitty was gone!

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Now, another Joe might have shrugged it off, but when this nose smells trouble, buddy, I follow it. So my partner and I staked out an abandoned warehouse…

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“Follow me,” I said. “We’re going in!” But he just stood there with that dopey grin on his face. He was too yellow, and I’d have to go it alone.

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When I got inside, I could hear muffled voices, saying something about “a day without cats.” So that was their plan; Miss Kitty was only the beginning. They wouldn’t stop until they’d stolen every kitten from the Internet — unless I stopped them first.

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Can Benson corral the catty kidnappers and crack the case? Will tomorrow truly be A Day Without Cats? Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode!

Photos from “My Hedgehog” by Yoppy.

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