You pay extra for a room with a private nurse, and then she just goes to sleep on the job, while I’m stuck sneezing my head off!
“Your skills are weak, young pup. You are no match for my advanced spinning-laying-down-surprise-attack technique! Hah!”
Found on Your Morning Adorable at the L.A. Times.
This is the big one, race fans! It’s almost scratching-post time, so let’s review the lineup: Chicken of the Seabiscuit in stall one, followed by Secretaricat, Milkmaid, Great Hairballs O’Fire, Chasing Tail, Cat Outta Hell, Safety Pin has been scratched… and at twenty to one, Feetlebaum.
So who do you like in the fifth, Susy P.? (Found at The Daily Tail.)
Oh, chortle all you want, Mr. Video Camera Holding Person, but now that kitties can get their own food, what do they need us for? Soon they’ll be driving our cars! Taking our jobs! Rounding us up into special camps! Laughing at our comical antics on brightly-colored websites! You fools! Wake up before it’s too late!
[Cue jaunty marching music: ♫ HRUM-pum-pum-pumpity-PUM-pum-pum… ♫]
Highwaymen, beware! Blaggards and knaves, take care!
For a hero roams the forest with a might beyond compare!
With his faithful St. Bernard, he is always on his guard,
Fighting evil and injustice with a proud and piercing stare!
For this brave and bold chihuahua
will not fail his finest howah,
And he’ll make the cowards cowah
With his mighty Yap of Powah!
So sing his praises from the rocks and from the tallest tree,
He’s the Wa-Wa of Des-tin-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I feel safer already, Ant.
Look, I know you meant well. It was a thoughtful gesture; I mean that, really. And goodness knows, we were long overdue for an outing, seeing how cooped-up we all get during the rainy season.
But seriously, check the five-day forecast before planning the picnic, mmm-keh?
Better not put the galoshes away just yet, Aaron.
This just in from the Cuter Image Catalog: Make your corner office feel like the vast plains of Africa, with the new RhinoPhone from QT&T. Rendered in rich earth tones, the cordless RhinoPhone helps you get your point across in style.
Oh noes! The helpless little puppy is drowning! How can you people just stand there and laugh, when that poor pooch is in terrible peril! Somebody throw him a Life Saver, or at least some Skittles! Oh, this is terrible (…ly cute)!