GERONIMO!

Dear Diary:  The hardest part of life among humans is their habit of inventing new words.  Just when I learn to respond to “play” and “dinner,” they become “fetch” and “num-nums.”

Just this morning, in fact, as I awaited the customary call of “walkies,” I was briefly puzzled to hear them call it “skydiving” instead.  Ah well, a rose by any other name, right?  More later.

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We would love to know what’s really happening in this pic, Nicole B.

Friday Haiku: Man’s BFF

Still summer morning / Friends reflect beneath blue sky / Your haiku: Epic

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Simply beautiful, Matthew R.  Click for full image

Hint: This Will Sound Funnier if You Read it Like Jerry Lewis

0:04: “Oh no, no way, nuh-uh. You’re not getting me in that… that… whatever that blue stuff is, no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o thank you…”
0:10: “… because it looks all wet and sloshy and it could hurt a person and so I will just romp and play where it is nice and–HEY LAAAY-DEE!” (splash!)
0:24: “Oh, this is not so bad, I’m moist and I’m swimming… Hey, where you going? I was just beginning to–WHAAAAAA! You bit me! You bit my little body with the teeth and the hurting of me, owwww…”
0:35: “Now I am dry again, but if you want me to swim, you have to promise not to do the biting and the pulling from the water, thank you nice lady!”
0:53: (Temporary loss of cuteness. Please stand by.)
0:57: “OK, here I go… Whe-e-e-e-e-e! See how much more fun it is when with all of the chomping and the yanking you don’t make so much?”
1:42: OOOWWWW! Again with the biting and the pulling! Will you stop with the pulling of my arm which is painful and is not a nice thing, already!”

This Just In: OMG, That Cup’s Huge!

I mean, just look at how it dwarfs that dog … oh, wait–that’s Scooter, a Maltese from New Zealand, who may qualify as the smallest full-grown dog of all time.  According to its owner, Scooter grew to about three inches tall and said “meh, that’s plenty.  So, are we having biscuits with our tea, or what?”

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Cheers to sender-inners Sandra and Clairebear!

Welcome to the C.O. Annual Picnic!

Well, hello there!  So glad you could make it!  Grab a plate, because we’ve got chips and guacamole, three kinds of potato salad, there’s a lovely bean casserole you’ve simply got to try, and I just set out a tray of ferrets, so do help yourself to those, and save room for three-layer Jell-O mold…

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And Now, a Word from our Sponsor

In these uncertain times, can you afford not to give your hedgehog complete insurance coverage?  Then call your Allstate agent today and ask about our Hedgehog Term Life Package.

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Everybody’s a Critic

“Ugh, what utter pablum.  Technically proficient, yes, but what exactly is the artist trying to say here?  The whole ‘sad, soulful kitten eyes’ thing is such a cliché, darling — where’s the originality?  I’m looking for something that screams ‘YES! This is real!  This is art!’ and all I’m getting here is ‘mew.’

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I guess we can just skip the “Dogs Playing Poker” retrospective, Matt M.

This Just In: Okey-Dokey Okapi!

She looks like the head-on collision of a zebra and a giraffe, but she’s 100 percent gorgeous.  Meet Kalispell, an okapi born June 27 at the Denver Zoo, one of only a half-dozen okapi zoo births in North America annually for this rare species. But don’t rush to see her yet, Denverites — she’s still under wraps until she gets a bit older.  For more, see the Denver Post.

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Happy Birfday, Tai Shan!

Happy Birfday to You
You’re now two-plus-two
You’re such a cute panda,
Here’s an ice cake for you!

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And maaaa-neeeee mooooreeee … pictures at The Huffington Post.

One Wife’s Private Torment

I’d heard about them on “Oprah,” and some of the girls down at Marcelle’s Salon made jokes about them, but nothing prepared me for the day my husband told me he was … a plushie.

“It’s just something I have to do,” he said, “it’s part of who I am.”  I tried to accept it, but the thought of Bob fantasizing about plush animals, even dressing up as one?  It all seemed so weird.  But with patience and counseling, we worked past our pain, and now our marriage is stronger than ever.

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Thank you so much for sharing, Judy H.