At the Hotel Cuteinental, your every comfort is our concern. Our spacious guest rooms include a fully-stocked mini-bar, valet/shoe-shine service, complimentary breath mints, luxurious bathrobes and, of course, designer kitten.
Do you take Diner’s Club, Melissa B.?
"Check me out — I’m a duck! QUAAACK! Boy, I could really go for some stale bread right about now, because I’m a duck! Get it? In fact, I’m buying a round of stale bread for the house — just put it on my bill!"
(crickets chirping)
"I said ‘put it on my bill!’ … because I’m a duck!"
Um, we’ll let you know, Natalie G.
It never fails: You bring home that stylin’ new HGLÄGTH bookshelf from IKEA, save the packing material, organize all the pieces neatly, follow all the instructions to the letter — and when it’s all put together, you still have that one kitty left over. [Seinfeld voice] I mean, what is the deal with that?
Keep it, Shannon G., you might need it later.
"Why, for goodness sakes, it IS a waffle! And to think, when I sat down here, purely at random and for no particular reason, I had no idea that there would be a waffle nearby — and yet, here is a waffle! How mysterious the mechanisms of Fate must seem to someone such as I, who likes a nice waffle on occasion, to find one’s gaze suddenly and for no reason fixed upon … but hark, I think there’s someone at the door! I’ll bet it’s those nice Publisher’s Clearinghouse people with a really big check!"
Riiiiiiiiiiight, Kyle C.
Well, the 2008 Olympics may be a memory, but the hopefuls for 2012 are already getting a head start in the rigorous training for this demanding and often time-consuming event:
And here’s Diego El Kabonngg of Portugal, demonstrating the advanced eye-covering technique that swept him to the silver in 2000:
Ready or not, here we come, Paula E! (top photo)
"All right, Frenchie — the coast is clear. Time to make our move."
"The old dame keeps the jewels in the penthouse apartment. All you gotta do is (whisper, whisper)"
"Right, boss — here I go!"
"Oh, and I forgot to tell you — the jewels are in a lead-lined safe with a quintuple-combination lock guarded by a laser-targeted motion sensor, fourteen armed guards, three rottweilers, and a delusional attack lizard. So good luck!"
We lose more frogs that way, Janine F.
Cuteologist brothers Ron M. and Nick M. have talent in spades, bless their hearts, because they just dealt us this expert recreation of the classic "Dogs Playing Poker" paintings.
Says Ron, "After a hard weeks work chasing rabbits and chewin’ bones, my 2 dawgsRoxie (right) and Meg (left) like to chill out in the kitchen and betsome biscuits on a poker game. As usual, Meg’s gotten carried away and drank more than she can handle while Roxie dominates the game."
Fun fact: In 2005, a pair of original poker-playing dog paintings sold for US $590,400 at auction. Too rich for my blood; I fold.
Skillfully shrouded within the dense prehistoric jungle, the deadly velociraptor stalks his prey. A soulless killing machine, he is as cunning as he is ruthless. Patiently he waits as his unsuspecting quarry draws closer, and then, without warning … HE STRIKES!
We all need our dreams, Karen G.
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Due to scheduled system upgrades, Gravity will be temporarily shut down from 2 PM to 4 PM EST. Please secure all outdoor furniture and keep pets indoors. We appreciate your patience and apologize for any inconvenience.
We all float down here, Karen G.
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