So What’s the Deal With the Turtles?

Our more astute readers may have noticed a slight turtle-y theme in today’s material.  It’s not just for Teh Qte; it’s also a shout-out to the toughest girl I know.

It's not so bad, once you get used to it...

Recently, a relative of mine was badly injured in a car crash.  She’s home from the hospital now, but her crawl to a full recovery is only just beginning.

I'm always ready to go camping...

She’ll be spending part of that recovery in a back brace that, I’m told, makes her look a bit like a turtle.  So I hope you’ll join me in saying “Get Well Soon, Turtle Girl!”

I'm my own Winnebago!

And thanks to slow-and-steady sender-inner Dominika D.

The Happiest Tortoises on the Planet

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Give You:  The Happiest Tortoises on the Planet.

“Mashed potatoes? My favorite!”

[Photo removed at request of owner]

“A strawberry?! My favorite!!

A strawberry?  MY FAVORITE!!

Raspberries Another strawberry?!?!?!? MY FAVORARRGTHMMGPTHOMNOMNOM!!!!!!!1!!!

RASPERRIES??!!?!!  MY FAVORITE!!!!1!!!!!1!

Friday Haiku: Shell We Dance?

Turtle and stuffed fish
Can your haiku celebrate
Their forbidden love?

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I give it six months, tops, Caroline D.

Cornstarch: It’s a Hell of a Drug

Says snorter-inner Claire K.: “I have a 3 ½ month old kitten named Pepper. He’s still in the kitten stage of thinking that everything that moves is a toy for him to play with.”

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“Last week my sister, Brigid, was baking in the kitchen when a bowl of cornstarch fell off the counter. Pepper immediately dove into it! Brigid got some great photos and then set to the task of cleaning the floor and Pepper.”

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Cuteness… IN 3-D!

From a Flickr collection of 3-D images, several cuties just seemed to jump out at us, like the pup below. You’ll need the old-fashioned red/blue 3-D glasses to see the effect.

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Meanwhile, there’s another group devoted to cross-view 3-D images.  You don’t need glasses to view these, but you will have to cross your eyes, and it may take some practice before you get it right.  Click the lemur to see an example.

Click me!

Photos: relumadrid (top), Dan (aka firrs) (bottom)

Leftover Kitten Paw

This is just like every Ikea bookshelf you’ve ever assembled–there’s always one part left over.  In this case, it’s the paw of yesterday’s ad-libbing kitten in the pictures sent by Kelly H.  I couldn’t work it into the narrative, but it’s too cute not to use.

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Today on “This Old Box”

Well, the recession may have hit some of us kinda hard, but you can still be a handyman no matter where you are.  So, on today’s show, I’ll be mixing a half bag of flour and a broken bottle of Kayo syrup into a durable all-weather sealant.  Later, I’ll show you how to turn an old license plate into a distinctive end table.

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You’ll Never Nurse in This Town Again

(OK, when I call “Action,” you just turn and read what’s on the card. All right?)

Sure, no problem. Let’s do this.

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(Fine. And … action!)

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Friends, has your mom been tasting a little rancid lately?

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(Wait, that’s not what it says on the…)

I mean not just a bit sour, but that full-on chalky mix of week-old milk, with a hint of tobacco and sardines that just makes you want to toss your cookies, am I right?

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(Uh, if we could just stick to the script here…)

That’s why our mom drinks Schblatz Beer!

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(That’s not even the sponsor! What the hell are you…)

Only Schblatz is double-brewed to be double-smooth, with the taste kitties love…

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(Somebody call Security!)

So treat your mom to a cool, refreshing Schblatz! She’ll love it–and so will you!

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(… and then call Kelly H. in the Casting Office and tell her she’s fired!)

Oh Great and Terrible Monkey God…

… who nourishes our forest with gentle life-giving rains,
… who blesses us with interesting feet that can grab things,
… who makes heavy the trees with delicious fruits that are very hard to open,
… who causes the theme from “The Benny Hill Show” to reverberate inside our tiny heads whenever we frolic and scamper through the treetops,

… all glory and pudding be upon thee, forever and ever, aaaaaaaa-monnnnk…

Guess what?  MONKEY BUTT!

(OK, this is an ape, not a monkey, but we like the sound of “monkey butt,” so deal.)

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

♫ Oh yeah, I
♪ I don’t care that
♪ You had some typing planned

♪ ‘Cause I
♫ Need attention
♪ I wanna hold your haaaaaaaaaaaaand!