I Am Not Disorganized!

Seriously, I’m so organized, it’s scary:

  • I always wash myself in a set pattern (right leg, left leg, right arm, left arm);
  • I sort my dead mousies by length, then by color, then by tail-to-torso ratio;
  • I sleep in the same sunbeam every day, using a weighted algorithm factoring seasonal solar variance against known shade points to determine each day’s optimum floor position and angle of exposure.

So why do people keep saying I’m disorganized?

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I dunno, Pam W., just a feeling.

Because It’s There

Day 17:  I have established base camp at the foot of the treacherous south face, whose sheer, forbidding vertical surface has claimed many an explorer before me.  With the monsoon storms just days away, I must make every precious minute count as I inch my way to the fabled Ceiling of Coyolxauhuiehecatl — and history.

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I claim this post in the name of Erin C.!

Mabel’s Birthday Conundrum

… and so, Mabel settled down in the straw and enjoyed the new scarf her older brother had given her.  But still, her brother’s knowing smirk filled Mabel’s mind with troubling questions.  For instance, why was she dressed just like a baby?  And why was there a baby dressed just like a lamb earlier that week?  But these doubts paled next to the most worrisome question of all…

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Was this scarf knitted from someone I know?

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Spotted at the Bendigo Sheep and Wool Festival in Victoria Australia by kelebek.  More here.

You Could’ve Listened, But Nooooooo

I warned you I was allergic to that shampoo, but did you believe me?  Oh no, not you, think you know everything, don’t you?  Well, now my face is melting, so let’s hear your clever idea for fixing that, Vidal Buffoon!

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Your “Gary” has the (echo effect) Jowls of DESSS-tiny, Heather Y.

Break Out the Pitchforks and Torches!

Washington, D.C. — Outraged legislators renewed calls for banning human-animal hybrids after researchers at the Frankenstein Institute for Extremely Scary Science announced the creation of a “lambaby.”  According to a spokesperson for an angry mob that stormed the Institute, “arghle grumble blaarphle rhubarb rhubarb!”

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I have just one word for you, Brynne M.: PASICKIE!

Kitten in the Keys

The piano is my forte, and I love to lie down in it,
It suits my laid-back at-etude, I don’t care how you spinet.
When I’m keyed up, can’t stay upright, life’s tempo gets too taxing,
I lie for just a minuet, and presto! I’m relaxing.

I’m never too Bizet to take a nap where notes are rolling,
When melodies float like the breeze, this console’s quite consoling.
So play whatever song you like; Chopsticks to Clair de Lune-a,
For where there’s a piano, I expect piano tuna.

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We all octave a kitty like that, Kristina V.

Come Out With Your Wings Up!

Schwenksville, PA — Police today ended a reign of terror as they apprehended notorious crime lord “Feathers” McGinty, suspected of masterminding KFC and Chick-Fil-A robberies across five states.

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I’ll have the “chicken surprise,” Anthea M.

Time for the C.O. Traffic Report

This is “Captain” Lance Monkeypants in CuteCopter One, and we’re getting reports of puppies attacking cars on the southbound I-812 at Bleen Street.  This is a multiple-puppy situation, very aggressive, and they are simply not letting any car get past them, so drivers are advised to use surface streets until further notice.

Now over to Ellie B. with the weather!

Well, Blow Me Down!

Avast there, ye sea dogs!  Just because I’ve only got one eye, ye’ve got no call ta be throwin’ me in the trash with the rest of the bilge water!  That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more!  (Now where did I put me spinach?)

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Have you considered adding an eye patch and a parrot, Laura S.?

Encore (Kinda): Orangutan and Hound

A while back, Meg featured some orangumazing photos of Suryia and Roscoe, the orangutan and hound-dog buddies.  Now, thanks to sender-inner Marilyn T., you can see the heartwarming story of how they met.  On your mark, get set, awwww!

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