Proshness in About an Hour!

All right, cover your left eye and read the center line, please?

"I … A … M … T … E … H … Q … T … E"

Very good.  Now the right eye, next line, please?

"U … M … U … S … T … L … U … V … M … E"

I want the rimless What's-Her-Name frames!

20/20 redonkulous, Johanne P.

Read … This … Post … Very … Slowly

Hey, your … (go to break room, get coffee, start crossword puzzle)

watch is … (file TPS reports, finish crossword puzzle, begin writing novel)

running a bit … (finish novel, negotiate Middle East peace, begin life-size toothpick replica of Seattle Space Needle)

... fast.

Thanks … for … the … submishe … Missy … P.

I Kissed A Dog (And I Liked It)

The taste of his milkbone dog lips

I kissed a dog just to try it

I hope my cat boyfriend don’t mind it

9_30_more_kisses_for_walter

Judy O. I think you should either separate them or get a recording contract STAT.

And The Winner Is…

As the entries poured in for our game of Trivial Fursuit (bada bing, Allison Y.!), one thing became clear: Those who love Teh Qte are Teh Smrt. Out of over 540 entries in 8 hours, most of you displayed your Google and Wikipedia skills command of knowledge flawlessly.

Our winner, randomly selected from all correct entries, is Arbed. Congratulations! 

Now, the answers:
( G ) What big cat lives in the Himalayas at altitudes up to 20,000 feet?  The Snow Leopard

Duz we getz kalinder, too?

(  E ) What TV character was pursued by a policeman named Dibble?  Top Cat

Now, imagine this walnut is your brain, see ...

(  H ) Who was the Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office under Margaret Thatcher and John Major?  Humphrey

I am NOT amused.

( AL ) What author’s museum is home to many six-toed cats?  Ernest Hemingway

The Old Man And Teh Qte

( SN ) What are the collective names for a group of cats and a group of kittens?  Preferred answers: clowder and kindle, respectively, but we also accepted cluster, clutter, glaring, kendle, nuisance and pounce.

Not chowder, you idiot!  CLOWDER!!

( SL ) What game involves cat’s eyes?  Marbles

I think you lost these. (*snerk*)

Thank you to EVERYONE who participated! If you’d like to see more competishes, let us know in the Comments!

I Think I’m Having A Wedge Issue

Hey, peeps!  While we sweat out the election results, test your trivia chops and you might win a Cute Overload Page-A-Day Calendar 2009! (rules below)

(  G ) What big cat lives in the Himalayas at altitudes up to 20,000 feet?
(  E ) What TV character was pursued by a policeman named Dibble?
(  H ) Who was the Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office under Margaret Thatcher and John Major?
( AL ) What author’s museum is home to many six-toed cats?
( SN ) What are the collective names for a group of cats and a group of kittens?
( SL ) What game involves cat’s eyes?

UPDATE!  CONTEST IS CLOSED — THANKS TO ALL WHO ENTERED!

Umm ... Egg salad?  James Bond?  The Ming Dynasty?  Guam?

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT OFFICIAL-SOUNDING RULES WITH NUMBERS AND EVERYTHING

  1. Entries must be received by 9 PM PST, Nov. 4, 2008.
  2. One entry per person, please.
  3. One winning entry will be selected at random from correct entries.
  4. Contest open to all except employees of CuteLabs, their immediate families and illegitimate children; people who talk in movie theaters; door-to-door harmonica salesmen; and penguins.
  5. Entries will be judged by NTMTOM, whose decision is fatal.

Q: Who’s an awesome sender-inner?  A: Vanessa P.

// UPDATE: Comments are closed so as to not give away answers! //

Percival Plans His Escape

"Laugh at my knobbular knees, will they?  Hah!  I’ll just pick up a bunch of these feathers, glue them on, and — VOOM! — I’m outta here!"

Atlantic City, here I come!

I don’t think so, Kate E.

Be the Banana

Relax, young apprentice.  Clear your mind of worldly cares.  Listen to the soothing wind chimes as you earth the energy within your body and become one with the environment around you.  Concentrate on the banana.  Feel your life energy reach out to it, lifting it off the ground … yesssss, that’s it … goooood …

Yeah, well, if we don't cover peeling in our next lesson, I want a refund.

Found in 126 Photos Worth Freezing at yeeeeee.com.

Trick or Wokka?

In response to a request that we end October on a Halloween note, here’s the cutest entry from a slideshow of top tech-o-lanterns from Network World.  Wokka wokka!

And if anyone knows how to gobble up treats, it's this guy.

Original gourdwork by Windell and Lenore of EvilMadScientist Labs.  Check out their stock-tick-o-lantern too!

Tick-Tock, ‘Tocktober’s Done…

… we know by the setting of the sun.
But there’s time for one more ‘tock, we see,
As snapped by Terry in D.C.

We thank all sender-inning folks
For giving us the butts of jokes.
But one month’s far too much confinement
So send more ‘tocks; that’s your assignment.

Mooning Lincoln? That's just WRONG, man.

A Whirlwind Romance

This is a true story, about how love and kindness can carry us safely through adversity.  If this story has inspired you, please forward this message to ten of your friends and share your blessing.

(lonesome harmonica solo plays in background)

It’s the story of Rusty, a poor pooch whose home was flattened by a tornado.  Homeless and lost, Rusty was picked up by a kindly stranger with a car …

Sure, it's wreckage, but it's CUTE wreckage. It's PINK, see?

… where he met this little lady, another sad-eyed refugee with nowhere to go — and no one to love.

(forlorn oboe solo plays in background)

But Fate had other plans.  A tornado may have turned their lives upside-down, but the power of Love set things right again, and the pair became best friends.  And so they drove through the ravaged countryside …

(... and now we bring in the string section, maybe a harp glissando ...)

… and were soon joined by another dog, and … a cat.  Okay, now I’m not sure what to do here.  I mean, I was trying to work this whole romantic angle, but now … um … well, we can say that the other dog stopped by to borrow a cup of sugar, and …

... and the cat is, like, the wacky neighbor character ...

Oh, come on!!  Now I’ve got a cat and five dogs!  Sure, it’s nice that this guy is picking up all these homeless animals and all, but he’s totally screwing up my narrative!  All right, you know what?  Don’t send this to ten people, see if I care!  Man, this blows.

Oh, mellow out, Hemingway.  We got a seat right here; jump in.

Are we inspired yet, Rusty O.?