Strained Carrots? My Favorite!

(Man, this is the sweetest babysitting gig ever.  The kid smears the food on his face, and I get to lick it off.  I hope he managed to get some dessert on the other side.)

That’s got to be the cleanest baby in history, Samantha M.

Just Two More Minutes, Ma

I’m, ah, working on my school project!  Yeah, that’s it, and I just need three more minutes.  I’ll be right in for lunch in just four minutes, honest.  OK, five minutes.

I Am The Magical Lumpfish!

… and you caught me fair and square, so I shall grant you three wishes! But (gasp!) if I could offer a suggestion (wheeze!), and far be it from me (choke!) to influence what I’m sure (urk!) must be a challenging decision (harrgh!), but you might want your first wish (aaack!) to be for a fish tank, (hurrp!) maybe a bucket of water…

Photo by Tobi M., who assures us that the little feller swam safely away afterward.

Every Thanksgiving, It’s the Same Thing

Aunt Leticia drinks all the cooking sherry, Grandpa and Cousin Harold argue politics, Cousin Wendell tells us about the latest cult he just joined, and I get stuck babysitting Aunt Brunhilde’s kids, Rollo and Yappo.  That’s it, man; I’m outta here.

Just read this leaflet, Marilyn T. — it’ll totally change your life.

THIS JUST IN: Bebeh Rhino

Rule of Cuteness #10-b:  If you haven’t grown into your feet yet and/or your mom can impale people, you’re cute.  So let’s keep a safe distance and welcome the newest baby white rhino born at Busch Gardens in Tampa, Florida.

Photo by Matt Marriott/Thanks to sender-inner Nick G.

Return of Ninja Cat!

The steps of the ninja warrior must be as silent as the morning mist upon the ground.  To avoid detection, he must be as still as the midnight air.  He must be as fearless as — GAAAHHH NOOOOO GIANT HAND GIANT HAND RUN AWAY!!!

Mind Your Manors

This week, on “Lifestyles of the Prosh and Redonkulous,” we visit Monteigh Hall, home of toenail-clipper heiress Lady Propecia Monteigh Phipps-Gargle.

Suzie in house and Alton Towers 013

The stately mansion overlooking the Floofitania River, home to generations of her ancestors, is currently under the exacting watch and care of this dynamic doyenne.

Suzie in house and Alton Towers 027

From hosting gala balls, to her designer shoelace empire, to romantic getaways with princes and movie stars, this jet-setter is always on the move and in the know.

Suzie in house and Alton Towers 022

But her most important role is doting mother.  Here we join Lady Propecia during her weekly visit with daughter Phoebe, cared for by her faithful nanny Hannah.

Suzie in house and Alton Towers 014

And finally, we bid farewell to Lady Propecia in her boudoir.  “This is where my heart is,” she explains, “where I unwind from the stress of my impossibly perfect life.”

Suzie in house and Alton Towers 019

Absolutely fabulous, Melanie H.

Good Eeeeeevening…

Tonight’s gripping tale of terror weaves a sinister web of mistaken identity, espionage, greed, double-parking … and murder.  An innocent bed of lettuce becomes a deathbed in a little story entitled… Ham Sandwich.

P1030271-crop

Submitted for your approval*, Sabrina C.  (* Yeah, I know — that was the other guy.)

Top sellers at Etsy

Ooh, this looks nice: “Multi-color blanket, perfect for snuggling during those winter nights. 100 percent hand-crocheted with acrylic yarns. Includes genuine dog noses.  Fits queen bed. Allow 2 weeks delivery; no shipping to PO boxes.”

Well, that seems like a very nice deal, and … DOG NOSES?!

CubaAndIndyNoses

I don’t even wanna know what’s in the matching throw rugs, Sarah A.

Dog Bless Us, Every One

Behold, the power of Teh Qte:  When we featured the custom pet portraits of Valerie Leonard, cuteologists swarmed her site — but many wanted a more affordable way to enjoy her creations.  And Valerie delivered, with a series of “Animal Ancestor Portraits” note cards, including a set of four holiday cards (sample below).  They’re historical — and hysterical, so check ‘em out.

Keep the milk and cookies, kid, just leave the liquor cabinet unlocked.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 13,303 other followers