I Just Don’t Know Where I Find the Time

Boy, have I got a busy day planned.

First, I have to put off cleaning out the rain gutters, then I’ve got to avoid painting the spare bedroom.

And somewhere in between not edging the front lawn and forgetting to take out the trash, I’ve got to carve out time to refrain from cleaning the attic…

lazy-frog

See also. ;)

Your-Kitten-Overlords-Must-Be-Obeyed

PEOPLE–OF–EARTH … IT–IS–USELESS–TO–RESIST … YOU–MUST–COMPLY–WITH–OUR–DEMANDS–OR–SUFFER–THE–CONSEQUENCES:

  1. ALL–DOGS–MUST–LEARN–TO–PLAY–THE–ZITHER
  2. TEXAS–AND–SWEDEN–SHALL–CHANGE–PLACES
  3. WATER–SKIS–AND–LEDERHOSEN–MUST–BE–WORN–AT–ALL–TIMES

Red light!  Green light!  Red light!  Green light! Redlightgreenlight!

I’ll look for you in the labor camp, Natalie D.

Maru, Master of Disguise!

And now, ladies and gentlemen, a few quick impressions:

0:16: Big Rodent is watching you, citizen…

0:31: I’m a tiger!  No, I’m an elephant!  No, I’m a tiger!  Ah, the heck with it.

1:18: And finally, our very special guest star, Homeru Simp-san! Let’s hear it!

Like it, Ximena H.?  We love it!

Oh, Never Mind

Welcome back to “Health Chat,” and our next guest is immunologist Dr. Colobus G. Ibbon, who claims to have developed a 100-percent reliable method to prevent allergic reactions.  Dr. Ibbon, would you share with our viewers the details of this truly remarkable discovery?

Just cut to a commercial, Connie H.

Hammy Birthday to You

A-a-ah y-y-yes, th-th-the ev-ev-ever p-p-popular “vi-vi-vibrating p-p-party h-h-hat” t-t-trick…  V-v-very f-f-funny…

SANY0450

Did you bring enough Fig Newtons for everyone, Lesley G.?

Friday Haiku: Opposites Distract

Black cat with white trim
Cuddles white bun with black eye
Your verse adds color

koko and rosie

Sender-inner Carolyne says:  “Yesterday afternoon we found our cat Koko had managed to lift the gate and climb in to Rosie, our bunny’s pen. Rosie didn’t seem too thrilled but let Koko cuddle up to her anyway. Maybe it’s time for another cat…”

Welcome to Pearly Swine Day Spa

Relax and let your cares wash away, as our talented farmer/massage specialists pamper your little piggy body with our exclusive immersion treatment…

This could spark a new trend in pool toys, Chris H.

Somewhere off the Coast of Maine…

Aye, a lighthouse keeper’s life is a solitary one.  Days spent searching the horizon; nights listening for the faint echo of bell or horn…  Sometimes I make shadow puppets on passing humpback whales.  Oh, it is a lonely life…

darcyface

Can he make a swan, Rosanna D.?  Swans are my favorite!

Get a burrow!

Oh, mah darrr-leeng (smack! smooch!) … our loff (slurp! nibble!), eet weel leev for-evaire… (grope! squeeze!) Until ze sun, she goes cold (honk!) and ze leetle stars, they stop (om nom nom!) with their tweenk-leeng… (whoops! crash!)

A Slice-of-Life Story

So Kenny, Marv and me hit the links over the weekend.  It was a tough course, with plenty of “beachfront property” and tricky doglegs—or, as we call them, “legs.”

par birdie and eagle.JPG

So anyway, Marv overclubbed past the apron on the fifth, but hit the green with a pitch-and-run and drained it for par. Meanwhile, Kenny found his sweet spot and swatted a wormburner straight to the pin for a double eagle!  Or something.

Par, Birdie and Eagle.JPG

I have no idea what any of that meant, Russ C.