It’s the C.O. Happy Fun Activity Page!

Hey, kids! Here’s a fun Valentine’s Day project you can make yourself. Here’s what you need: One 28″ x 22″ sheet of red poster board, safety scissors, Pug, and 16-ounce Porterhouse steak.

  1. Carefully cut poster board into heart shape, and cut hole in center
  2. Place pug’s face through hole
  3. Dangle steak in front of pug until pug is completely hypnotized

Happy Valentine’s Dog, Elizabeth K.

Marvin shares a piece of his mind

“… and if that’s not enough, that smarmy jerk doesn’t even have the guts to come down here and tell me himself, so if he thinks he can make me work Saturdays, he can just kiss my furry a… aaaand he’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

Timing is everything, Spiky G.

Snow Kidding

From Tiffany L.: “We’ve have quite the blast of snow on the East Coast.  This is my little Yorkie Chibi trying to comprehend the white stuff around her.  Enjoy!”

Activate the Magnetomic Snow-Hance-A-Tron!

My money’s on the one at the bottom

The results of your tests are back, Mrs. Penny, and I’m afraid those two growths are actually …  extra heads. There’s no medically sane reason why this should be happening, but unless we operate now, one of them could take over within weeks.

Antonieta è una madre meravigliosa, Jorge E.

And now, time for “The Avian Gourmet”

For the bird of refined tastes, a glorious afternoon’s cracker-tasting is one of life’s most sumptuous pleasures. The heady aroma of the wheat, the piquant delight of the perfectly roasted sesame seed — these infuse the soul with inspiration.

Having said this, it must be confessed that the standard concoction of flour and salt possesses a consistency as dry as one’s own Rabelaisian wit. So one must rejuvenate the palate between courses and ready it for the wonders yet to come.

While many of my colleagues are partial to a mild sorbet for this purpose, I prefer going straight to the source: Nature’s bounty, in this case, a succulent strawberry. The juice should not be too tart; we wish to cleanse the palate, not strip-mine it.

Also, an attendant with a napkin is usually advisable at this stage…

“The Avian Gourmet” is brought to you by the generous support of Emilie C. and viewers like you.

WAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!

Call it a hunch, Elizabeth B., but I think Mollie would like that pupcake.

Tea, Earl Grey, cute

Hey, everybody, take a pekoe at this teacup pup. We haven’t seen a face this dar(jee)ling in, oo, long time.

We’re green with envy, Lori S.

Meow Culpa

I’m … I’m really sorry about what happened to your curtains. And the Bentley. And your credit rating. This has never happened to me before — since the last time.

You’re gonna need a bigger bird

Pushing the envelope on the whole “birds on backs” theme, Mama Bird re-enacts the famous “evacuation of Saigon” photo from the 70’s.

By Petra Z via Pixdaus.

Things Are Looking Up

I’m a tiny little lizard in a great big world, and all I ask for…

… is someone to look up to.

Beautiful shot, Jackie.

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