The steps of the ninja warrior must be as silent as the morning mist upon the ground. To avoid detection, he must be as still as the midnight air. He must be as fearless as — GAAAHHH NOOOOO GIANT HAND GIANT HAND RUN AWAY!!!
This week, on “Lifestyles of the Prosh and Redonkulous,” we visit Monteigh Hall, home of toenail-clipper heiress Lady Propecia Monteigh Phipps-Gargle.
The stately mansion overlooking the Floofitania River, home to generations of her ancestors, is currently under the exacting watch and care of this dynamic doyenne.
From hosting gala balls, to her designer shoelace empire, to romantic getaways with princes and movie stars, this jet-setter is always on the move and in the know.
But her most important role is doting mother. Here we join Lady Propecia during her weekly visit with daughter Phoebe, cared for by her faithful nanny Hannah.
And finally, we bid farewell to Lady Propecia in her boudoir. “This is where my heart is,” she explains, “where I unwind from the stress of my impossibly perfect life.”
Absolutely fabulous, Melanie H.
Ooh, this looks nice: “Multi-color blanket, perfect for snuggling during those winter nights. 100 percent hand-crocheted with acrylic yarns. Includes genuine dog noses. Fits queen bed. Allow 2 weeks delivery; no shipping to PO boxes.”
Well, that seems like a very nice deal, and … DOG NOSES?!
I don’t even wanna know what’s in the matching throw rugs, Sarah A.
Behold, the power of Teh Qte: When we featured the custom pet portraits of Valerie Leonard, cuteologists swarmed her site — but many wanted a more affordable way to enjoy her creations. And Valerie delivered, with a series of “Animal Ancestor Portraits” note cards, including a set of four holiday cards (sample below). They’re historical — and hysterical, so check ‘em out.
Guys, guys, lookit! I got the big head, with the long nose thingy! Wait, I’ll make the funny noise: Phhheeeaaaauuuuuuummmmpf! Hey, somebody throw me a peanut!
Peanut! Because I’m an elephant, ya get it? Guys? Where’d everybody go?
Shot and submitted by Tod B., who was sooo in the right place at the right time.
Were they a sparkly, shiny, impossibly perfect shade of green? If so, “Soupie” is using them for eyes, and you can’t have them back, so neener. But what you can have (and you may want to take a step back, lest the cuteness knock you clean out of your cubicle) is the jaw-dropping, heart-stopping power of the…
CUTE OVERLOAD ULTRA-EXTREME EYE, NOSE, AND TINY TOOF-HANCE!
Photo by Ryan F., submitted by Janna V.
Seriously, I’m so organized, it’s scary:
- I always wash myself in a set pattern (right leg, left leg, right arm, left arm);
- I sort my dead mousies by length, then by color, then by tail-to-torso ratio;
- I sleep in the same sunbeam every day, using a weighted algorithm factoring seasonal solar variance against known shade points to determine each day’s optimum floor position and angle of exposure.
So why do people keep saying I’m disorganized?
I dunno, Pam W., just a feeling.
Day 17: I have established base camp at the foot of the treacherous south face, whose sheer, forbidding vertical surface has claimed many an explorer before me. With the monsoon storms just days away, I must make every precious minute count as I inch my way to the fabled Ceiling of Coyolxauhuiehecatl — and history.
I claim this post in the name of Erin C.!
… and so, Mabel settled down in the straw and enjoyed the new scarf her older brother had given her. But still, her brother’s knowing smirk filled Mabel’s mind with troubling questions. For instance, why was she dressed just like a baby? And why was there a baby dressed just like a lamb earlier that week? But these doubts paled next to the most worrisome question of all…
Was this scarf knitted from someone I know?
Spotted at the Bendigo Sheep and Wool Festival in Victoria Australia by kelebek. More here.