"Dear Lord, bless this carrot, and its sweet, sweet orangey goodness, that thou hast seen fit to deliver unto us this day; and bless also my dear wife Mabel and our fourteen children, most of whom look like me; and my sister Enid, even though she moved to the colony in the nicer part of town and won’t talk to us anymore; and …"
From a million in-boxes to yours, courtesy new sender-inner Betsy B.
I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I just know I’ve seen this house before …
… oh yeah, now I remember:
Later that evening, Rosalie lingered with Hector on the veranda. He was silent as usual, his lush brown eyes locked upon some distant horizon that only his heart could know. She had learned not to disturb these moods, but tonight she yearned more than ever to reach him.
"Please tell me what you’re feeling," she whispered. As always, there was no reply, only the unblinking, haunted stare that masked untold heartbreak and madness. Her aching for him was greater now than she had ever known, and slowly, hesitantly, she lowered her face to him.
It was only a flutter at first, a brief sensation as her lips brushed against his, but it felt like forbidden fire coursing through her entire body. Drunk with passion, she pressed her mouth ever more urgently to his, desperately seeking some sign, some ray of hope that he hungered for her as well.
But there was no hint of validation from his warm yet unyielding eyes, and Rosalie felt her passion turn to anger. "Well, I hope you’re proud ofth yourthelfth!" she blurted. "All thith thime I waitedth for you, praying thath you could thare my feelingth! And now, ifth you’ll let go of my thounge, I’m leaving you fthorever!"
Pass the Kleenex, Molly C.
Apparently, you can now buy a book that tells you how to operate yourself. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to Borders to pick up a copy of "The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Complete Idiots."
I see you’ve mastered "Sender-Innering for Dummies," Brandi W.
From their 1958 debut at the Nosepick Hollow Folk Festival, The Happenin’ Hoedown Hipsters kept audiences’ toes a’tapping with a crowd-pleasing mix of folk standards tinged with modern jazz influences. The 1962-65 lineup, pictured here, included Farquard Mandlebroot, lead beagle and vocals; Stanley Burbleson, coyote and harmonica; Roger "Biff" Burbleson, rhythm beagle and vocals; and Doris McGinty, bass mutt.
An’a one, an’a two, Anna L.
Sender-inner Justine S. noticed how much her pet Chihuahua, Boo Radley, posed like the famous pinup photograph of Marilyn Monroe. We’ll get to the comparison in a moment, but first…
WARNING: The following post contains nudity, including naked female human boobies, which may, if improperly viewed, cost you your job, transform your innocent children into drooling sex maniacs, get you fined by the FCC, and generally hasten the collapse of American civilization. VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK!
… or are we just happy to see you? 2008 was a diverse year for Cats ‘n’ Racks™: Ferrets, waterfowl, stuffed animals, and even the occasional cat. And now, a little somethin’ for the fellas:
Accessory Tip: A strategically-placed duckling can be very beak-oming …
And finally, perhaps the most enchanting creature ever to grace these pages: Warm, inviting smile; eyes that sparkle like moonlight across distant waters … and a really nice beav — No. No, I won’t say it. I won’t sully this vision of radiance and purity with such vulgarity.
Thanks for the mammaries, Jennie W., Arlo R., Brittany F., and (sigh) Sasha V.
In 2008, all the creatures of the world learned to live and love together in blissful peace and harmony. Well, except for us, of course, but y’know — we’ve got issues. Anyway, here are some of the interspeciesly snorglest photos of 2008 to show us how it’s done, and here to help them out is our very special guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Mister Barry White!
Thanks also to the Sender-Inner Orchestra: Stephanie P., Nancy P., Johanna S., and Teajay
The C.O. Insticute was busy in 2008, as our ace field researchers unearthed four new Rules of Cuteness! This material will be on the final exam, peeps, so pay attention:
Rule of Cuteness #38: If you have a curved, plump belleh, it’s cute.
Rule of Cuteness #39: Nuzzable mini-chests are cute.
Rule of Cuteness #40: Finding (and sleeping in) a sunbeam is cute.
Rule of Cuteness #41: Exposing a vulnerable area is cute.
Our thanks to Cuteologists Marlies W., Kevin T., Susanna R., Erin L. for their tireless efforts in advancing the frontiers of Teh Qte.
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