Weather very nice, except for Smurfsday, when it rained paper clips until purple o’clock… Went to the zooquarium and saw the polar sharks swimming in pea soup… Still can’t find a Starbucks anywhere…
Sender-inner Tiffiny R. proposes a new Rule of Cuteness™: If your food is bigger than you are, it’s cute, which contradicts the earlier rule: Never eat anything bigger than your head and other drawings. (We’re still not sure how the other drawings factor into it.)
Attention all pigs! There is an elevated risk of a deadly strain of “girl flu.” If not treated early, girl flu can lead to death, or in extreme cases, cooties. Pigs are urged to avoid prolonged contact with girls, and also avoid activities which may weaken the immune system, such as shopping or watching romantic comedies.
Did somebody lose a bet, Florence A.?
Boy, have I got a busy day planned.
First, I have to put off cleaning out the rain gutters, then I’ve got to avoid painting the spare bedroom.
And somewhere in between not edging the front lawn and forgetting to take out the trash, I’ve got to carve out time to refrain from cleaning the attic…
Welcome back to “Health Chat,” and our next guest is immunologist Dr. Colobus G. Ibbon, who claims to have developed a 100-percent reliable method to prevent allergic reactions. Dr. Ibbon, would you share with our viewers the details of this truly remarkable discovery?
Just cut to a commercial, Connie H.