My money’s on the one at the bottom

The results of your tests are back, Mrs. Penny, and I’m afraid those two growths are actually …  extra heads. There’s no medically sane reason why this should be happening, but unless we operate now, one of them could take over within weeks.

Antonieta è una madre meravigliosa, Jorge E.

And now, time for “The Avian Gourmet”

For the bird of refined tastes, a glorious afternoon’s cracker-tasting is one of life’s most sumptuous pleasures. The heady aroma of the wheat, the piquant delight of the perfectly roasted sesame seed — these infuse the soul with inspiration.

Having said this, it must be confessed that the standard concoction of flour and salt possesses a consistency as dry as one’s own Rabelaisian wit. So one must rejuvenate the palate between courses and ready it for the wonders yet to come.

While many of my colleagues are partial to a mild sorbet for this purpose, I prefer going straight to the source: Nature’s bounty, in this case, a succulent strawberry. The juice should not be too tart; we wish to cleanse the palate, not strip-mine it.

Also, an attendant with a napkin is usually advisable at this stage…

“The Avian Gourmet” is brought to you by the generous support of Emilie C. and viewers like you.

WAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!

Call it a hunch, Elizabeth B., but I think Mollie would like that pupcake.

Tea, Earl Grey, cute

Hey, everybody, take a pekoe at this teacup pup. We haven’t seen a face this dar(jee)ling in, oo, long time.

We’re green with envy, Lori S.

Meow Culpa

I’m … I’m really sorry about what happened to your curtains. And the Bentley. And your credit rating. This has never happened to me before — since the last time.

You’re gonna need a bigger bird

Pushing the envelope on the whole “birds on backs” theme, Mama Bird re-enacts the famous “evacuation of Saigon” photo from the 70’s.

By Petra Z via Pixdaus.

Things Are Looking Up

I’m a tiny little lizard in a great big world, and all I ask for…

… is someone to look up to.

Beautiful shot, Jackie.

Sorry, This Hat Is Taken

Whuh?  Aww, do I have to?  I just got comfortabuhls!

I don’t care if it matches your purse, I’m using it right now!

Why don’t you wear your “souvenir of Miami Beach” cowboy hat with the pink flamingo design?  You used to love that hat, and I think it sets off the blue in your jacket with the mumbity farble arrgth zzzzzzzzz…

Let it go, Danny Y.—it’s gone.

Wait, Here Comes My Favorite Part

“(…oh yes, he’s using the drill now… Wow, that must be a really big cavity… Mmnn, I just love it when the patients claw into the armrests like that… OK, it’s time to rinse; ooh, I’ll bet the water in that hose is really cold…)”

Minimum Horse, Maximum Horseplay

Check out Stuart Little, a baby miniature horse practicing soccer, and… saaay, I just had an idea:  What if there was a game, kinda like soccer, but it had horses in it, and they ran around a field knocking a ball back and forth?

Naaah, it’d never catch on.

And if we had a pool, Bridget W., we could play water polo!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 14,040 other followers