Halftime Pup Talk

All right, boys, I know things aren’t looking good out there:  We’re down 189 to 3, half our defensive line is in a coma, and our quarterback is curled up in a fetal position in the locker room crying for his mommy.

But don’t give up.  When the team is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, I’m asking you to go in there with all you’ve got, and win just one for the Yipper.

Star sender-inner Moriah L. scores another touchdown!

From the Diary of Inmate #23981

Tuesday:  Almost had him.  Caught a fleeting glimpse of his tail, but the slippery devil vanished again before I could grab it.  But I’m close now — I can sense when he’s near.  And I will wait for him, watch for him, as long as it takes — until I can confront my keepers with the truth:  There is someone else in this cell with me.

I see why you named him Special Ed, Dolly W.

And Now, Munchkin the Magnificent

“For my next mystifying illusion, I shall require this ordinary length of rope, and a volunteer from the audience.  If this volunteer were to have, say, some bacon, or a handful of kibble, I shall astound you further by making it disappear.”

Magically cute, Amy L.

The Adventures of Ratman!

Cease your criminal activities, evildoer!  Or I shall be forced to subdue you with the awe-inspiring power of my Super Wrist Rat Launcher!

Thanks to super sender-inning sidekick Paige L.!

Heads You Win, Tails You… Uh, Also Win

The holidays are almost upon us, when people express their love by exchanging gadgets of dubious utility.  And in that spirit, we’re proud to introduce the latest item in the C.O. product stable: The Cute Overload Executive Decision Maker!

Here’s how it works:  When you feel the need to make a crucial decision, simply 1) Take any coin;  2) Flip the coin and note which side–heads or tails–is face up;  3) Stare at the corresponding photo until the urge to make a decision goes away.

Our readers are gonna flip over this pup, Chelsea L.

Still Life With Cute

Sharpen your pencils, class.  Today, you are going to continue last week’s still life exercises, with a special emphasis on contrast.   Study this arrangement, and then capture as best you can the feeling of total stillness, of complete and utter inertia — and then contrast that with the fruit.

Your cat Daniel looks familiar, Tal S.  Has he posed for any motel art?

Ladies & Gentlemen, the Clever Hamsters

It was another tear-stained night in the French Quarter, heartbreak hanging over every street like a grieving fog.  There was already a row of shot glasses on the bar in front of me, drained like fallen soldiers, but I still had sorrows to drown.

It was Amateur Night, when every cab driver with the ten-spot to get his horn out of hock took his turn in the shadows of Parker and Gillespie.  A beady-eyed quartet shuffled on stage; with luck, they’d only butcher a few numbers before slinking away in shame.  I ordered another shot and braced myself for the worst.

But then they started to play…

Like coolsville, Amy F.

Friday Haiku: Puppy Uppers!

Prosh pal punchy, pooped?
Popping power pill provides
Plenty pep for pup

The secret compartment of my ring I fill / With an Underdog super energy pill!

Quite a pick-me-up, Danée A.

Hedgehog: It’s What’s for Dinner

Oh sure, every time we show you a baby bunny, or a cute kitteh, you people are all like “Squeee!  Ah wawna pop heem in mah mouf!”  Well, bon appétit, kiddies!  (On the plus side, you won’t need a toothpick after dinner.)

What wine goes with hedgehog, Brittany H.?

Built Rhino Tough!

Welcome to the RPG (Rhino Proving Grounds) here at Busch Gardens.  Each morning, new recruits report to their MOM (Maneuverable Obstacle Mentor) for a run on the training track, evading GNU (Ground Nuisance Units) before settling down for a well-earned NAP (Nighttime Asleep Procedure).  Sure it’s tough, but it’s how we make sure your next Rhino is rugged, maneuverable, and built to last.

In Tampa, your local Rhino dealer is Nick G.