The King of Bling

The ladies call me Cutemaster Chuck,
If you want a prosh pup, then you’re in luck.
Here’s a word to the wise, ’cause my star’s on the rise.
I’m the prize for the lady who tries my puppy-dog eyes on for sighs.
Check it, yo.

That’s a (w)rap, Angela N.

Rule #5: A case study

Longtime Cuteologists know that a fisheye lens + baby animal is cute, but now a pair of before-and-after photos allow us to examine the phenomenon up close.

Cute:

Ultracute:

Thanks to field researcher Fred of One Bark at a Time.

Secrets of Snowball Fight Success!

Spring’s coming — time for those final snowball fights! Here’s how to make the perfect snowball, from six-time snowball champ Marv “Stinger” Snarkbarkle:

“Waal, first ya gotta pack da snow good’n tight, don’cha know. You’re lookin’ fer sumptin ya can put a little spin on, for distan — Hey, whar da heck’s my snowball?!

Photos by Khalid I., who also sent us the sugar glider art director.

Grand Theft Hamsterball

(Oh boy, I’m almost to the end of the game! All I have to do is run over these drug-dealing cats, steal the Uzi power-up, and I can take on the Big Wheel himself!)

Says Wendy L.: “This is Shirley, a hamster up for adoption at Magic Happens Rabbit Rescue in Baton Rouge, LA. She came from the pound along with another hammie, and both are so sweet and cute!”

It’s the C.O. Happy Fun Activity Page!

Hey, kids! Here’s a fun Valentine’s Day project you can make yourself. Here’s what you need: One 28″ x 22″ sheet of red poster board, safety scissors, Pug, and 16-ounce Porterhouse steak.

  1. Carefully cut poster board into heart shape, and cut hole in center
  2. Place pug’s face through hole
  3. Dangle steak in front of pug until pug is completely hypnotized

Happy Valentine’s Dog, Elizabeth K.

Marvin shares a piece of his mind

“… and if that’s not enough, that smarmy jerk doesn’t even have the guts to come down here and tell me himself, so if he thinks he can make me work Saturdays, he can just kiss my furry a… aaaand he’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

Timing is everything, Spiky G.

Snow Kidding

From Tiffany L.: “We’ve have quite the blast of snow on the East Coast.  This is my little Yorkie Chibi trying to comprehend the white stuff around her.  Enjoy!”

Activate the Magnetomic Snow-Hance-A-Tron!

My money’s on the one at the bottom

The results of your tests are back, Mrs. Penny, and I’m afraid those two growths are actually …  extra heads. There’s no medically sane reason why this should be happening, but unless we operate now, one of them could take over within weeks.

Antonieta è una madre meravigliosa, Jorge E.

And now, time for “The Avian Gourmet”

For the bird of refined tastes, a glorious afternoon’s cracker-tasting is one of life’s most sumptuous pleasures. The heady aroma of the wheat, the piquant delight of the perfectly roasted sesame seed — these infuse the soul with inspiration.

Having said this, it must be confessed that the standard concoction of flour and salt possesses a consistency as dry as one’s own Rabelaisian wit. So one must rejuvenate the palate between courses and ready it for the wonders yet to come.

While many of my colleagues are partial to a mild sorbet for this purpose, I prefer going straight to the source: Nature’s bounty, in this case, a succulent strawberry. The juice should not be too tart; we wish to cleanse the palate, not strip-mine it.

Also, an attendant with a napkin is usually advisable at this stage…

“The Avian Gourmet” is brought to you by the generous support of Emilie C. and viewers like you.

WAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!

Call it a hunch, Elizabeth B., but I think Mollie would like that pupcake.

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