Crush Hour Traffic

Mind you, I’m not complaining. Overall, it’s comfortable; the atmosphere is convivial, the staff is attentive and personable, and I feel a sense of belonging. But I really must say, for what they’re charging…

… this health club really could spring for another treadmill.

Hey, times are tough, J.S.

He Does this Every Winter

(Heh, heh, heh) I’ll hide some snow in the refrigerator…

… and paste someone with a snowball next June!

They never learn, Emma H.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

…who bore a striking resemblance to our next-door neighbor, Mr. Lundquist.

Photo credit: Andrea Schaffer

¡Ay, Cur Rhumba!

Día tras día, Conchita bailaba frente al espejo. Ella espera con todo su corazón para realizar su sueño: Ser un bailarín en el programa televisivo “El Sábado Gigante.” *

* Translation: Day after day, Conchita danced in front of the mirror. She hoped with all her heart to realize her dream: To be a backup dancer on the television program “The Saturday of the Extreme Largeness.”

I Approve of this Banana!

Yes, it’s true; we buns are a disapproving sort, as a rule.

But rules were made to be broken, om nom nom…

Cheeko looks charming, Jenny G.

A New Wrinkle

What makes us pugs so cute? It’s the wrinkles. I have more loose skin on my neck than most dogs have on their whole bodies. I’m wrinkled everywhere…

… and I do mean everywhere.

Phillie looks so concerned, Emily E.

Another Cute Overload Success Story!

Digit, from Wisconsin, writes: “Dear Cute Overload: Last year, I was a 98-ounce weakling (see photo). Even my stuffed monkey beat me up for my lunch money.

“But then my mommy Amy S. bought me the Cute Overload Page-a-Day Calendar. I practiced its time-tested Dynamic Embiggenating™ techniques every day, and one year later, just look at me now!

“Now I walk with a confident, manly swagger. When I enter the room, monkeys fall over one another for the honor of buying me a drink. And the ladies have noticed me as well. Thanks, Cute Overload! I owe it all to you!”

Never capitulate to stuffed animals again! Order your Cute Overload 2011 Page-a-Day Calendar today from Amazon, Borders, Barnes and Noble, Powell’s, or wherever industrial lubricants are sold! Hurry — supplies aren’t limited!

Are You Thinking What I’m Thinking?

CATNIP FALLS, CT — Surgeons at Mercy Me Medical Center separated two kitties who were joined at the head.

Because the kitties shared a single brain, an agreement has been reached…

…for each kitty to use the brain on alternate days.

Kate N. says: “Here are our kittehs Max and Gracie, stuffed after Thanksgiving turkey. Max (left) was nice enough to welcome Gracie into the family after she and her sisters were born in a shed near our yard. Now they are best friends!”

Welcome to the World of… the Future!

Behold! What wondrous advances await us in the year 3000! Disposable noses! An entire college education in pill form! And, after a hard day of micro-botanical brain farming, glide home in safe, silent comfort aboard your personal Hover-Shoe!

Hector T. brings you the Totonika of tomorrow — today!

Aliens! They’re Everywhere!

Caught one trying to melt into the walls! I’ll grab his antenna so he can’t escape!


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