Wisecrack that Whip!

Want to tell off your boss? Need to put that snotty waiter in his place? If you’re too timid to do it yourself, call the humiliation experts at Tongue Lashing, Inc.! Once our trained abuse agents whip them into shape, they’ll know they’ve been licked!

Pthpthpthoto credit: ellenm1

Important Product Recall Notice

Due to a labeling error, cases of Acme Novelties’ “Spring-Loaded Joke Snake” may in fact contain “Joke-Telling Flying Squirrel.” Customers affected by this error may return their product for exchange or refund.

Thanks to alert consumer Megan H.

Dance, Ya Varmint, Dance!

All that this duck* needs now is Yosemite Sam shooting the ground underneath him (and maybe a top hat and a cane). A-five, six, seven, eight!

* (probably a goose actually, and maybe one of our readers can clear that up.)

How to Fire Your Maru Cannon

Like all dangerous munitions, the Maru Cannon must be loaded with extreme care. Do not attempt to place Maru in the cannon yourself — simply leave the cannon unattended and Maru will be drawn inexplicably into it.

Next, make sure that Maru is coiled tightly at the bottom of the cannon, to attain the necessary “spring-loaded” effect.

When firing, be aware that Maru may not always follow the desired trajectory.

Spotted on Maru’s blog by Marianne H.

The Tech Support Ham’s Here

…so you say it makes a pockety-pockety sound, followed by a schlunka-schlunka-schlonk noise, and then just goes whirrrrrrr? Well, let’s crawl in and take a look…

Photo by Zixii

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall, Who’s About to Take a Fall?

All right, students, time for another lesson in C.O. Math: Kitten plus mirror times depth of bench divided by distance from floor equals…?

Breaking World Cup Action!

We interrupt Cute Overload to bring you highlights of today’s decisive victory by the Tasmanian Terriers over the Greenland Gardeners Who Just Mostly Stand There!

From YouTube user bluefan, spotted on Your Morning Adorable from the Los Angeles Times.

Science Develops Boneless Penguin!

TOXIC MILLS, MN — Researchers at the Center for Dubious Science today presented “Flopsy,” the world’s first fully boneless penguin.

From the collection Zoo Babies by the San Francisco Zoo.

Deadbeat Box

Here at Acme Bill Collector Institute, students get hands-on training using state-of-the-art equipment. In this video, an instructor supervises an assertiveness-training exercise in which the student must get his paw in the door.

We’re in your debt, Kim W.

Gimmie Five, Man!

Whoo-hoo! That was righteously awesome, dudester! You totally crushed it, buddy! We’re talking major world-class domination! High five! Fist bump! Put ‘er there, pal!

Julius looks like a real stand-up guy, Molly H.

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