Science Develops Boneless Penguin!

TOXIC MILLS, MN — Researchers at the Center for Dubious Science today presented “Flopsy,” the world’s first fully boneless penguin.

From the collection Zoo Babies by the San Francisco Zoo.

Deadbeat Box

Here at Acme Bill Collector Institute, students get hands-on training using state-of-the-art equipment. In this video, an instructor supervises an assertiveness-training exercise in which the student must get his paw in the door.

We’re in your debt, Kim W.

Gimmie Five, Man!

Whoo-hoo! That was righteously awesome, dudester! You totally crushed it, buddy! We’re talking major world-class domination! High five! Fist bump! Put ‘er there, pal!

Julius looks like a real stand-up guy, Molly H.

Technoverload

NOW ISS ZE TIME ON CUTE OVERLOAD VEN VE DAHNCE!!

Inspector McCaw Cracks the Case!

“I was baffled at first, I’ll admit,” mused McCaw as he addressed the dinner guests, “but in time, the clues led step by step to one inescapable truth: Lady Vandeshmear’s killer was none other than… Count von Stroganoff!

The others gasped as McCaw strode forcefully towards the astonished Count. “Or should I say Cedric Ottersby, who is not only a murderous fiend, but also,” he said, pulling the Count’s nose, “a master of disguise!”

“I said,” he repeated, tugging harder, “a master (nnnggghhh!) of disguise!”

Photo: Mccaw Smooch by PuppiesAreProzac

And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor

Conquer the great outdoors in the 2010 Chevy Suburbham! Savor the power of independent all-wheel transmission combined with the luxury of its roomy interior…

With more rear cargo space than ever before, it’s as reliable as it is rugged…

Once you test-drive a Chevy Suburbham, you’ll never want to drive anything else.

Get a great deal from Nehama V., your local Suburbham dealer.

Are You Intimidated Yet? Huh? Are You?

Chuckle at me, will you? Well, my fine friends, you’ll be chuckling from the back of those chubby pink faces when I intimidate you with the awe-inspiring power of my chest-beating territorial threat display! Prepare to cower — here it comes!

The C.O. Guide to Etiquette

Part Three: The handshake is the key to any successful introduction. Always grasp the hand firmly, and shake from the elbow, pumping about three or four times. A two-handed grip is too familiar for most business and social situations.

Regardless of species, a bear hug is considered inappropriate for an initial greeting.

Photo: Alan Vernon

No, I Haven’t Seen Your Lipstick

Why would you even ask me that? I’m insulted! Every time something goes missing around here, everybody looks at me! For your information, I don’t even wear that shade — it doesn’t flatter my complexion and it tastes terrib… oops.

Says Valerie S.: “This is our Howie, a 9 month old male shi tzu/maltese.  Howie (or Howard when he has been naughty) raided my purse one morning and found a tube of lipstick I haven’t used in over a year.  This is what I woke up to that morning!”

Watch the Birdie!

(Let’s see… I’ve got strong light coming from the east, so I’d better use an F-22 setting with the variable high-speed aperture, and soften those shadows with the 500-watt telephoto grammiz frobble…)

Photo: Camera Birds by Navicore

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