Morning Traffic Report

This is “Cap’n” Blorph Norphman in the C.O. TraffiCopter, and we’re tracking a seven-puppy pile-up on the inbound I-98.6, and that’s causing squee-and-go traffic all the way to the Chewtoy Interchange, so look out for that…

Photo credit: prakhar

This Is Why You Always Use Dryer Sheets

Yes, it’s another one of those heartwarming “cute animal adopts balloon” stories we like to run all the time. Warning: Image at  0:39 may induce nightmares.

Run Along and Play, Don’t Mind Me…

… it’s a mother’s joy just to watch. I’ll just sit here quietly on this bench, and think about what sweet children you are, and how I was in labor for eight hours, and how I gave up a career as a systems analyst, and how I used to have a waistline, and…

Photo credit: Mondmann

Wisecrack that Whip!

Want to tell off your boss? Need to put that snotty waiter in his place? If you’re too timid to do it yourself, call the humiliation experts at Tongue Lashing, Inc.! Once our trained abuse agents whip them into shape, they’ll know they’ve been licked!

Pthpthpthoto credit: ellenm1

Important Product Recall Notice

Due to a labeling error, cases of Acme Novelties’ “Spring-Loaded Joke Snake” may in fact contain “Joke-Telling Flying Squirrel.” Customers affected by this error may return their product for exchange or refund.

Thanks to alert consumer Megan H.

Dance, Ya Varmint, Dance!

All that this duck* needs now is Yosemite Sam shooting the ground underneath him (and maybe a top hat and a cane). A-five, six, seven, eight!

* (probably a goose actually, and maybe one of our readers can clear that up.)

How to Fire Your Maru Cannon

Like all dangerous munitions, the Maru Cannon must be loaded with extreme care. Do not attempt to place Maru in the cannon yourself — simply leave the cannon unattended and Maru will be drawn inexplicably into it.

Next, make sure that Maru is coiled tightly at the bottom of the cannon, to attain the necessary “spring-loaded” effect.

When firing, be aware that Maru may not always follow the desired trajectory.

Spotted on Maru’s blog by Marianne H.

The Tech Support Ham’s Here

…so you say it makes a pockety-pockety sound, followed by a schlunka-schlunka-schlonk noise, and then just goes whirrrrrrr? Well, let’s crawl in and take a look…

Photo by Zixii

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall, Who’s About to Take a Fall?

All right, students, time for another lesson in C.O. Math: Kitten plus mirror times depth of bench divided by distance from floor equals…?

Breaking World Cup Action!

We interrupt Cute Overload to bring you highlights of today’s decisive victory by the Tasmanian Terriers over the Greenland Gardeners Who Just Mostly Stand There!

From YouTube user bluefan, spotted on Your Morning Adorable from the Los Angeles Times.

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