Attack-in-the-Box

A cautionary reminder, gentle reader: Wherever boxes are casually unpacked and tossed aside, there lies in wait the silent assassin, who strikes unseen with surgical precision. The merciless fiend known only as… Sniper Kitty.

Do You Have This in My Size?

I do like the colors, they’re fierce, but it’s a teensy bit on the big side. Let me give you a visual: Imagine stuffing a grapefruit into a change purse. Pretty much that.

That little pup will grow into it soon enough, Catie O.

Sounds Like a Page-Turner to Us

Behold, the 2010 winning entry in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, given each year to the worst opening sentence:

For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss — a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.

Photo credit goes to arathrael!

“Carrots in Love”

(Sung to the tune of “Lawyers in Love”)

I can’t keep up with what’s been going on
I think my heart must just be slowing down
Among the aubergines, the cukes and lima beans
Am I the only one who hears the screams
And the strangled cries of carrots in love

Carrot-raiser-uppered, picture-takered, sender-innered and song-parody-written-downered by C.O.-staff-job-easier-maker Wendy M.!

Synchronized Smiling

“… Aaaand, one-two-three, grin-two-three… C’mon, ladies, work that smirk!

Photo credit: sakanami

C.O. Gamer’s Review-o-topia!

Greetings, programs! Time for this week’s look at the newest, thumb-thrashinest video games, and up first it’s Super Mario Ultra Kitty Cart Turbo (Wii, $45.99).

A disappointing entry in the SMUKC franchise, this “Turbo” is anything but, combining sluggish controls and limited speed with a loud 16-bit soundtrack that’s so 2003 (cubicle monkeys, dial it down before you press play). Rating: Two stars.

Ya wanna play Pong, Lennart K.?

Lotso Tree-Huggin’ Bear

SWITZERLAND — Police and protesters clashed during the Ursine Environment Summit today, as demonstrators upset over deforestation of the Hundred Acre Wood chained themselves to treetops and had to be forcibly removed.

Cub reporter Jorden C. contributed to this article.

Thanks for the Shade, Mom

Theriously, I was all ouch-ooch-ooch-ouch walking on the sand, and then I sit down, and I’m thinking “hey, do I smell fried chicken?” and it’s me!

Photo credit: auburnxc

Pinin’ for the Fjords

It’s not pinin’! It’s passed on! This ferret is no more! It has ceased to be! It’s expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late ferret! It’s a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed it to the perch it would be pushing up the daisies! It’s rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This… is an ex…

Wait, never mind.

Another Quality Foraged Link from AQFL.net P.S. The palindrome of “Phillip P.” would be “Ppillihp”! It don’t work!

Don’t Speak, My Darleeng, Don’t Speak

For zome zeengs, ma petit souffle, zhere are not ze words. Like for ze tops of your feet. Zhere is not ze word for zat. Or irregularly-shaped bowling balls. Or boogers, after zhey have dried and become hard. But perhaps, my sweet, eet is for ze best.

Ze photo credeet goes to lastquest.

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