Consternation and Befuddlement!

After a relaxing brandy in the members’ lounge, Lord Mumphrey left the exclusive Cat and Mouse Club for his rendezvous with Miss Penelope Hoosterwooster.

Emerging into the gaslit evening, it dawned on him that the check clerk had given him the wrong hat. “This can only mean,” he mused, “that somewhere, a mouse is attempting to hail a carriage from within the confines of a size seven bowler.”

Via HuffPo via Buzzfeed via Reddit via Imgur.com

The Tale of Piwi the Kiwi

This is too cool for jokes, so we’ll let the YouTube notes tell the story:

Wildlife experts found Piwi and transported him to a wildlife park to mend his broken leg. The vets decided to use a treadmill to help with Piwi’s recovery. At first, Piwi wasn’t too thrilled to be on the treadmill, but the vets have said that his workout has drastically improved his muscle tone and great chance of surviving out in the wild again.

Posted to our Twitter feed by Sunny. Good onya, mate!

Update: If you cannot view this video, try here instead. Thanks to The_Swede.

After-Dinner Turtle?

Eet ees ze perfect complement to ze meal. Ze tiny shell, she ees so light and delicate, and ze leempid eyes, zey are so sweet and bee-yoo-te-fool. Ah, but you must try at least ze one, I een-seest…

I still prefer the crunchy frog, Liz M.

Is Your Pocket Pet a Secret Spy?

A Cute Overload Security Bulletin: The newest trend in corporate espionage is the “surveillance hamster,” an innocent-looking pet trained to listen in on phone calls and report to competitors. Beware!

That’s Squishy the Hamster, from Lisa S.!

Slow-Mo Maru

Maru’s owner, who we suspect buys large household gadgets just to get the boxes, is getting much better at this slow-motion stuff. Here we see the Weightless One from new angles, and enjoy the rare Slow-Mo Maru Box Entry Fail!

Ssspppooottteeeddd bbbyyy Jjjooossshhh Nnn.

Rodents of Unusual Size?

… I don’t think they exist.

Looks like someone got the drop on Bandito, Allison L.

CelebriQte!

Most puppies just lick themselves, but this one scrubs. Meet Scooter, new ani-pal of “Scrubs” actor Zach Braff, currently starring in Trust in New York. See more cuteness on Zach’s Facebook page — and there are more pics of Scooter, too.

Nice catch, Melanie.

Toe the Line, You Heel!

A-ha! We meet again, arch villain! I’ve been instep with you since you fled Paraguay, and now that I have the upper hand, you’re getting the boot!

Photo by Victoria Reay

Science Develops Magnetic Pomeranian!

Our energy problems are solved! Check out this pup, with magnetic powers so strong, she can attract a baby monkey at 50 feet! All we need is one Magneto-Pom™ surrounded by an army of baby monkeys running on treadmills!

We’ll go halvsies with you on the patent rights, Lani.

Is… Is That All There Is?

For years it mocked me. Trailing behind like a doppelganger, close enough to coax my anger, far enough to evade my grasp. There was no stratagem it could not anticipate, no attack it could not escape. It was as if it could read my very thoughts.

And my nights were filled with savage dreams of vengeance; brutal, surreal retribution for the crimes of this interloper. As grand inquisitor, I imagined I heard its pleas for mercy, but none I offered, and its cries of torment perfumed my soul.

And now, at last at the end, I am empty, disenchanted. The thing is done, yet the horizon ahead lies barren and joyless. What a fool I’d been. What a damnable fool.

If that’s all there is, Chris G., then let’s keep daaaaan-cing…

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