Mind if I Crash in Your Helmet?

I saw you pedaling around, and watching all that sustained physical activity tends to wear me out, so I figured you owed me a place to sleep… (zzzzzzzzzzz)

Wake me up in time for the next post, Anna G.

There’s Always That One Houseguest

The snacks are gone, your other friends left hours ago, you’ve announced “well-p, got that big department meeting first thing tomorrow” at least five times, and still…

Via Gawker via The Daily What.

Aw, Nuts

All Monday I sit by this bowl, with nought to do but pine
With an acorn in my heart to nosh these nuts of mine.

My humans eat them all the time, I pecan see them do it.
With that shiny tool they use, it seems there’s nothing to it.

To meet my need I’d glady read each book in academia
to learn the knack I sadly lack to crack a macadamia.

Mister, cashew teach me how to be a happy snacker?
I’ll eat my fill, Bert, once I learn how to work a nutcracker.

I have a feeling that Cliodna will crack this sooner or later, Sharon S.

THIS JUST IN: Baby Elephant Alarmed by Disproportionate Foot-to-Head Ratio

Uli, a baby African elephant born last Sunday at the Zoo in Wuppertal, Germany, gets a good look at what Mom will be spanking him with if he misbehaves.

Image via AP via Gawker.

Know Your Obscure Superheroes!

By day, Claude Flapscratcher poses a mild-mannered tax accountant for a chain of kosher dry cleaners. But whenever evil flourishes, when citizens cry out for justice, Claude dons his multi-spectral crime-seeking goggles and becomes… InsectiPup!

Cheers Tameka & Sachmo

I Want My Money Back

Seriously, I’ve used a lot of backyard recreational equipment in my time, and this is the worst I’ve ever seen. Slipshod construction, flimsy materials, totally unsuitable for its purpose. First thing tomorrow, this goes back to the store, and I’m never buying another trampoline from those people ever again!


Caveat emptor, Stephanie T.

Highlights from Last Night’s Awards

Our red carpet reporters say that this year’s buzz was all about feathers, feathers, and more feathers! Here’s lovely Anne Hamthaway in a luscious pink creation by Revolving Dior…

… meanwhile, rising star Olivia Wildcat looks more like a lion in this stunning white ruffled gown by Oscar de la Rental.

Thanks to paparazzi Meagan E. and Courtney P.

You’re On Notice, Mister!

“All right, Tom Nom, or whatever your name is, I’m on to your game! You like to make us animals look stupid by putting silly words in our mouths!

“Well, that garbage stops right now, pencil-neck! I’m putting on my stern face to warn you that if you pull that with me, I’ll monkey fusebox your argyle butterbean frackety garble bibbity-bobbity-boo!”

And the moral, Nieske V., is: Don’t annoy a writer.

The Cheese Puff Gourmet

Ahhhh… (sniff, sniff) A pleasantly piquant puff, this, evenly dusted with a heady array of cheese-like chemical products…

And now for that crucial first sampling… (lyurp!) Alas, the tantalizing promise held forth by the aroma is betrayed by hard, unyielding consistency of the puff itself. This shall not do; remove it from my sight, please.

No pleasing some people, Chris S.

A Day in the Life of Squirrel Temp

7:35 AM: I overslept! I’d better floor it if I don’t want to be late my first day!

8:17 AM: Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee!!

10:30 AM: I’m on stapler detail. It’s actually kind of fun, but I have to jump really hard to get through more than six sheets of paper.

12:32 PM: Only 30 minutes for lunch?! Guess I’m eating at my desk, grr…

3:52 PM: “Move this!” “File that!” “Bring me my pen!” “Paint the break room!” They sure keep a girl busy around this place, don’t they?

9:26 PM: Another day, another dollar, I suppose… (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)

Welcome to the working week, Sarah S.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 15,513 other followers