I Wish I Was in Dixie (Cups)

Ooo-ooh, here’s two cups full of fuzzy cotton
Now what was I doing? Oh, I’ve forgotten
Look away
Look away
Look away
They’re too cute.

Via HuffPo via Geekosystem via The Daily What via Buzzfeed via Disapproving Rabbits via alert reader Warrior Rabbit!

Gareth Grey and the Roomba of Doom!

One by one, the initiates flew in all directions as the Vacuumodium continued its ceaseless unpredictable lurching. At last only Gareth and his bitter rival, Cedric Blackmon, clung for life as Prosciutto von Rosawurst, the pink lord of the Kitchen Lands, watched from on high with his hellhound Trixie. “Give it up, urchin,” sneered Blackmon. “It is my destiny to face the Final Challenge of Ish-Kabongg, not y–“

And with that, he was gone.

This Is Not in My Contract

(Man, I hate when the boss brings her kid to the office, ’cause that means I have to make nice with the little pest or I’ll be working Saturdays for a month…)

Kees Me, You Fool!

Ah am ze halpless to ree-zeest, mah darl-leeng. Ziss loff, eet is deeper zan ze oh-shans, taller zan ze Eiffel Towaire, beeger zan mah outrageous Fronch accent!

Pup or polar bear, Agnes S.?

Philip Morris the Cat

After a long day’s tail-chasing, it’s time to relax with a good friend — and the smooth taste of Meowlboro 500’s. Using only the choicest catnip, the full-bodied flavor of Meowlboro always satisfies. Available in regular, menthol and tuna.

Photo by Lynzy E., bogarted by Andrew D.

If I Could Walk That Way, I Wouldn’t Need the Genius Grant

Can you walk on air? Someday you might, thanks to research at the Bethesda Locomotion Extended Ergonomics Network (BLEEN), where scientists have developed a unique way of walking without one’s feet touching the ground.

The Amazing Hamboni!

Ladeez ann gennelmen! At this time, I direct your attention to The Amazing Hamboni, who will be launched from this enormous cannon, soar over your heads, and land in this bowl of tapioca. Maestro, a drum roll, if you please…

Shot (you should pardon the expression) by vic15.

Attack of the Deadly Pug-ranha!

Caution: The Pug-ranha is considered cute and extremely dangerous! Although they may appear small and harmless, a school of pug-ranha can snorgle a full-size adult into submission within minutes! Beware!

Note: We can’t embed this clip, so click the picture to watch at YouTube.

The Downside to Dieting

Proof that every silver lining has a dark cloud: You count your calories, work out religiously, drop that weight and feel great — and your skin doesn’t fit anymore.

Betty is chub-tastic, Natasha H.

Profiles in Bravery

At this time, C.O. salutes those unsung heroes of the slopes: The Awesome Rescue Huskies. Whenever a skier is injured in a fall, these brave animals swing into action, racing through waist-deep snow, using their uncanny senses of hearing and smell, until they locate the victim… and tell him how awesome he looked until help arrives.

Up next: “Profiles in Sender-Innering” salutes Mischa M.

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