"Awright, youse mugs, listen up! We’re knocking over McGregor’s First National Bank, see, and I don’t want no slip-ups!
Bugsy, you drive the getaway car. Roger, you blow up the safe.
And Flopsy, you stare disapprovingly at the security guard! Now, hop to it, see? Nyeeaaahh!"
This looks like a case for Elliot Nuff and his Untouchables, Amanda L.
(FADE IN on backyard. MUSIC UP, delicate piano with strings)
ANNOUNCER: These are the Schlackmann Years™—the most precious years of your baby’s life. First steps. First words. And, most important of all, first solid foods. Maybe that’s why more mothers feed their babies Schlackmann’s Puppies than any other brand. Only Schlackmann’s Puppies are scientifically bred to be easy to chew, and gentle to your baby’s delicate digestive system. And only Schlackmann’s comes in the variety of breeds and flavors babies love. So make them special years; Make them Schlackmann Years.™
Were you a Schlackmann’s kid, Vernel L.?
My boyfriend and I adopted a kitten a few months ago. She is so sweet and little but she has this problem. She likes feet. And I don’t mean she thinks they’re kinda neat and she watches them. I mean she thinks they are tasty and she must eat them. Especially for breakfast. Especially in the very early morning hours for breakfast. This was taken after she was caught in the act. Don’t let the innocent act fool you. She is evil. Lovable… but evil.
Signed, Carrie M.
Dear Carrie:
Let’s not pussyfoot around—your tiny toe-taster is in a terrible jam! Unless you intervene—and fast—she’ll become a full-on feline footaholic. Tell this heel to get on the ball and go to a local Toe-Anon meeting, and if she arches her back, remind her that de-nail isn’t just a river in Egypt, no matter how corny that sounds.
-The Other Abby
Arrrrrgh, mateys! Today be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, and ye be aboard the SS Redonkulous, the cutest vessel what ever sailed the Internets! I’m Captain Kidd N. Kaboodle, and if it’s adventure ye be after, then welcome aboard! And now, here’s my first(-post) mate, Mister Bleen!
In the remote plains of Wazoolooland, we come upon an all-too-familiar scene: A fierce camel locked in mortal combat with the small but wily plastic bucket.
For the bucket, its only chance is to raise its defenses and hope to tire his adversary …
Alas, even the bucket’s tough protective shell is no match for the camel’s ruthless onslaught …
… and with one final bite, the struggle is over.
Victorious, the mighty camel cries out his call of triumph.
We’ll be back with more of "Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom" after these messages.
Yes, sir, Gelosia … that’s your "Baby." ( More photos here )
This picture is:
Can I peek at your answer, Karen G.?
"We were right in the middle of … um … playing leapfrog! Um, wait … no, I was giving her a back massage! Yeah, that’s the ticket … ahmm, would you believe we’re practicing for the football team? Hup one, hup two!"
Scandalous, Tami S.
"Charles—it was love at first sight when I saw your beautiful, long neck…"
"Nadine—you’re the one with the vertebra that WON’T QUIT"
And then they stared at their lake reflections fer hours, Jennifer B.
At the Hotel Cuteinental, your every comfort is our concern. Our spacious guest rooms include a fully-stocked mini-bar, valet/shoe-shine service, complimentary breath mints, luxurious bathrobes and, of course, designer kitten.
Do you take Diner’s Club, Melissa B.?
"Check me out — I’m a duck! QUAAACK! Boy, I could really go for some stale bread right about now, because I’m a duck! Get it? In fact, I’m buying a round of stale bread for the house — just put it on my bill!"
(crickets chirping)
"I said ‘put it on my bill!’ … because I’m a duck!"
Um, we’ll let you know, Natalie G.
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