You Win This Round, Gravity

You may think you can keep me down, but I’ll be back… with some boots on, or maybe a rope ladder. Whatever, I like it down here better anyway.

An armadillo having a small problem with upward mobility at the Parc Zoologique & Botanique de Mulhouse in France.

It’s The Princess Pricklepants Show!

Hi-dee-ho there, Pricklers and Pricklettes! Last week, we saw how much more fun the “Star Wars” prequels would be with HUNGRY DINOSAURS! (I especially enjoyed seeing Jar-Jar being eaten alive!) But today we’re going to have FUN ON A CATTLE RANCH!

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Running a ranch is HARD WORK, kiddies! Everybody wants to eat your cows without paying for them! Why, just this morning, mean old Barnaby Bear tried to sneak up on me while my back was turned!

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And if that wasn’t bad enough, I had to chase away ALLIGATORS! I’m telling ya, it would be so much simpler just to go out for a burger and a milk shake…

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“Here are some pics of our sweet hedgehog Princess Pricklepants (farmer, space traveler, etiquette advice columnist) from her experiences running a farm,” says sender-inner Steven B.

Pet Shop Ploys

Jeff Wysaski is the inventive mind behind Obvious Plant, in which he enlivens the retail experience by replacing store signs with his own creations. Recently, Jeff visited the pet store, where he upgraded Teh Qte with a generous helping of Teh Wut. See more on his Tumblr.

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Fail: It’s What’s For Dinner

Apparently, what this new-fangled fancy-pants food dispenser really needs to dispense is some wisdom.

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Via Daily Pics and Flicks.

The Fiend Beneath the Floor!

‘Twas later that evening that I heard the noises; a faint scratching, like of some small harmless insect seeking shelter, naught more. But then it grew, louder and more insistent, joined by a hideous rasp like nothing of this earth.

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“Demon! Torment me no longer!” I cried, clutching the amulet that Professor Witherspoon had entrusted to me. But the scratching grew ever louder, and the rasping voice, at first formless and incoherent, began to coalesce into human speech: “Feeeeeeed meeeeeee…”

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Via Francois Schnell.

Free Garlic Hairballs with Every Order!

When you want the hottest, freshest pizza fast, put down the dominoes and dial Parcheesi’s Pizza! Our patented process keeps your pizza at the purr-fect temperature!

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“Forgot to close the lid,” says Redditor k3vbomb.

My Croak Is My Passport. Verify Me

To: All Employees
From: CuteLabs Security

Due to recent breaches of cuteness protocol, all doors have been upgraded with Rapacity Inhibiting Boundary Inquiry Technology (RIBIT) locks. To gain entry, employees must: 1. Touch key card to panel; 2. Answer random security question posed by RIBIT GuardFrog; 3. Kiss RIBIT GuardFrog to enable DNA matching. Please report sudden transformations to First Aid.

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Via Reddit.

I Am Too a Pterodactyl! Stop Laughing!

I AM A FEARSOME PREDATOR OF THE LATE JURASSIC PERIOD I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW SO STOP GIGGLING AND POINTING YOUR STUPID CAMERAS AND MAKING OOCHIE-GOOCHIE NOISES AT ME! SHOW SOME RESPECT!

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Via Karen Westphal.

Snorgler on the Orient Express

Agent Romanoff glanced furtively about. The man in the tortoise-shell glasses, pretending to read the paper — she’d seen him once before, in Tangiers. So they were onto her at last. There would be others, she knew, watching her every move. Now she would need her wits about her if she hoped to smuggle the kitten to Moscow for debriefing.

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Secret Squirrel

… and when Victor returned to his birdhouse that evening, little did he realize that shadowy agents from the NSA (Neighborhood Squirrel Alliance) were listening in on his every move…

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Via Robert Engberg.

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