… and now Captain Feisty tries to pin The Spotted Dynamo… perfectly-executed leg hold there, but the Dynamo refuses to budge… and now he’s going for the face hold! Definitely saw some biting there, I think the referee missed… WHOA! Decisive smackdown by the Spotted Dynamo! And this — match — is — over, ladies and gentlemen!
“Thank you, Mimsy. Right now I’m flying over Rancho Cucahuenga, and we’re looking at a four-kitten pile-up just before the Slauson cutoff.”
Here in our Paw Pad Proving Grounds, every set of paw pads undergoes rigorous tests to ensure braking ability — for your safety and comfort!
Enjoy long, luxurious, healthy hair… with “Gee, Your Hair Smells Like Horse!”™ Now available in Harvest Oats, Apple Orchard, and new Carrot Cake scents.
Via Three Leaf Farm on Facebook.
Using stolen cutlery from the mess hall, we quietly dug a tunnel from kennel 13. It was going pretty well; by late August we had completed nearly two miles, complete with lights, a makeshift rail track, three stations, twelve turnstiles, and a Starbucks. However, we suffered a setback when we accidentally surfaced in the cat camp next door…
“My dog chillin in his hole,” explains Redditor teach_me_how_to_data.
“… and so Mrs. Wiggles, that’s that nice Schnauzer I see on Thursdays, well she won’t let her puppies play with the Robinson’s puppies across the street anymore since Mr. Robinson flipped out and bit the mailman. And the dogs in that house aren’t very well behaved, either, I can tell you!”
“He loves getting his nails done,” says Redditor shazolin.
For agonizing, eternal minutes, she and the interloper merely stared at one another, each afraid to move or speak. At last, the visitor found his courage, stepped forward, and offered the traditional greeting of his people:
“This is Popcorn the Cat facing off one of the many Cincinnati city deer that wondered into my neighbor’s yard. I like to think she was protecting our garden,” says Tawny W.
Start of call: The representative seems courteous and helpful, and merely has a few questions to assist with the cancellation process. Although the questions appear unduly personal, you may ease any stress of the experience by looking at this picture of a smiling
tiger cub clouded leopard.
Minute six: Although theoretically willing to assist with the cancellation, the representative is concerned that your desire to abandon such a caring, loving service may be due to latent feelings of resentment of one or both parents, and suggests weekly therapy along with a complimentary 20 Mbps upgrade. During this phase, you may need to gaze at this bunny for strength.
Minute eighteen: Now sobbing into his mouthpiece, the representative demands to know, to learn, to feel the reasons why you have chosen to break the heart of this fine service that exists only to serve you. Was it that one time the Game of Thrones season finale got all blocky? That wasn’t our fault, dammit! During this phase, hide all sharp objects and secure any firearms you may own. This kitten represents your last best chance to retain your sanity. Good luck.
The inspiration for this post, if you need it.
You awaken just before noon. Blades of light slice through the gauzy haze as you piece together the evening’s revelries. There were balloons and alcohol, karaoke and alcohol, arson and alcohol, plus Mr. MacGroot from Accounting brought his bagpipes. Somehow, you staggered home and collapsed — and that’s when it happened. Your chin disappeared halfway into your head, your eyes and ears now point in different directions, and you realize your night of abandon has left you with a case — of Bed Face.